Fibroids and Endometriosis?

In response to Deb's question about endometriosis testing on my post about infant potty training, no, I haven't specifically had tests for endo. But I did have two HSGs and have been opened up twice -- once for my myo and once for the c-section and nothing was mentioned -- not even on my medical records. Some of my other online fibroid sisters have had endo and fibroids though -- so it is a possibility. In the book The Infertility Cure both conditions are dealt with in the same chapter -- so similar can their causes be.

I've had painful ovulations before, the first one that I recall was back in 1996 when I was just about doubled over in pain at work -- a stressful computer start-up -- and I ended up going to the emergency room just to make sure I didn't have appendicitis. Wanna know where that pain was? The same location as my fibroid showed up years later. I had an ultrasound at the time and it came back clean. After all the acupuncture I've had done I think that partially the pain comes from some form of blood stagnation in that area -- and too much stress will divert the blood flow from your reproductive organs so it it possible that its all related.

Since my c-section I've occassionally felt a few jabs of pain in that area -- which is where Twyla, my new big fibroid is located. It's not too bad so I'm hopeful that she's not going to be an issue.

Lately I've thought, as people respond in surprise when my partner and I mention that we're planning on starting to TTC again later this year, that another factor besides it taking so long and the miscarriages, that also the fibroids I have are another consideration. One good thing for the moment now though is that breastfeeding suppresses estrogen production so it is possible that my fibroids will shrink substantially until my period shows up again. The reduction in estrogen also causes me to have dry skin, so dry I have hives on my upper arms, and it also dries out the girly bits so that sex is a bit uncomfortable. There's no winning.

Two Month Well Baby Visit

We had our 2 month ped appt this morning and Jonah is up over 15 lbs (phew that its not more than that) but it's still a doubling since our last appt at 2 weeks. He's measuring in the 90th percentile for head circ., 95th for length and above 95th for weight -- he was average all around at delivery.

We opted to do two shots today, polio as it is less reactive and HIB. The HIB shot really hurt him going in at the office but a few hours later he was screaming at home in pain and his thigh was all swollen. He's been crying since then, but mostly sleeping. I couldn't help cry when I saw him hurting so -- it really was awful. We've trained Jonah by being attentive so that he doesn't need to cry for us to respond. The crying this afternoon just made me want to thow up. He starting to smile and coo again now.

It was just awful watching him crying in pain and not being able to console him though. If I held him it would hurt him and if I put him down he got upset. I ended up laying him on my bed with his head on my pillow with two diaper flats laid out beneath him as fastening the cloth diaper would hit his injury. I held his hand and he fell asleep but would wake periodically and cry, especially when he would kick his legs (his favorite thing to do, even in utero) as it hurt. Awful, awful. I'm still recovering.

We opted to do our own schedule for the vaccinations as the CDC recommendations are designed to try to get as many people to complete the shot series as soon as possible so they don't miss them, but they are based on babies in childcare, etc. Since Jonah's at home and not around many other children -- we feel comfortable doing our own schedule to reduce the possible overload of introducing so many foreign proteins and preservatives into his system at once. I read that from a TCM standpoint you ideally would only introduce them one at a time -- but obviously getting one shot each time means more trauma over time so that's a bit extreme.

infant potty training works -- 6 poos and 2 pees later

I started working with our baby at 5 weeks on drawing his awareness
to his elimination patterns during diaper changes. Last week, after
observing that he passed gas prior to having a BM, I decided to sit
on the toilet with him and see if he would relieve himself there. I
was so nervous that I would miscalculate his intentions or when he
was going to go and that I would end up covered in poo. But a few
moments later he did it and he didn't mind at all and there was no
clean-up required, just a quick dab on his tush.

I tried it during the week last week but our timing was off. I tried
again on Sunday though and he had 4 poos and even peed once.
Yesterday I had him on the changing table and asked him if he wanted
to pee or poo in the potty and he smiled at me so we sat on the
toilet and he peed -- I was so proud. Today at my PEPS group meeting
he went poo again -- I'm just amazed that this is working.

Infant Potty Training/ Elimination Communication

Today was also a good day for pooping in the potty. I was just reading through my last couple of posts and I think I should explain about elimination communication, it is where you teach your infant to use the toilet and not just go in their diaper all the time. It requires you as the parent to be observant of your baby's elimination habits and cues and then to work with your baby to go in the toilet.

When Jonah was 5 weeks old I went back to one of the E.C. sites I have linked to show my sister about it. From that I got the idea that I probably should be helping Jonah understand about what was going on in his diaper. Since then when I change his diaper I will say to him "oh, you had a pee-pee diaper" or "Jonah had a poo-poo". It works particularly well when he tries to let me know he wants a diaper change or just when he starts to get cranky because he needs one. Sometimes while changing him he will poo, and less ocassionally he will pee. I try to use those as learning opportunities as well as it just happened so I can say "Jonah had a poo-poo" and it's more obvious.

My partner and I don't want to be diapering for years so the idea of E.C. intrigued us. Add to that the cloth prefolds that we're using through the diaper service and baby knows when he's soiled. I try to be highly responsive to his requests for a diaper change as well, so he stays aware of when he goes and knows that I don't expect him to stay in a dirty diaper. It's all part of a holistic approach we are taking with him about this.

Today Jonah went poo in the toilet twice, and both times he seemed game to try it. During last week I tried a few times but he wasn't ready to go just yet and got frustrated so we quickly abandoned the effort -- I don't want to torture him, if he's not into it then we move on. I think he likes being able to press with his feet against the seat to help bear down. Whatever works.

Jonah likes to eliminate while he's nursing so obviously that's not a good time to try to intervene. I have noticed though that most of the time, or more than half the time, when he spits up its because he's peeing or pooing. My biggest cues from him are if he is passing gas and hasn't yet had a poo or he's straining already to have a bowel movement. Peeing, I'm not so good with figuring that one out yet.

Here are some good links to learn more about elimination communication or going diaper free:

Diaper Free! The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene
by Ingrid Bauer

Infant Potty Training

diaperfreebaby.org

Infant Potty Training - Elimination Communication

Natural Infant Hygiene FAQ

The EC Store

EC Clothing Options

Dare to Bare, New York Times article

See also my post - Easy Diaper Changes and Pottying Outfit Observations

Jonah is really keen to say hello, he's been practicing more and more on his own. Yesterday evening he started crying and was shouting "el-lo", "el-lo". My partner says that its because Jonah has such a hard time trying to get the noise out that when he's pushing out a lot of sound (when crying) its easier for him to say it. I swear we aren't torturing this child, he really wants to learn. On his own he's also starting to try to say milk now. He can get out "ilk" and its so cute. Remember that he started babbling with me from the second he met me in the operating room so I'm thinking this is just part of his nature.

Okay now, so ground breaking Jonah tricks...

My partner taught him how to say hello this week. It sounds outrageous as he's only 2 months old but indeed the baby is able to tie together the shaping of his mouth through the ha, the el and the rounded o. It's really hard for him to do it but he's getting better. He sticks his tongue out for the el part. I video taped him doing it two nights ago it's too funny to see.

Then last night I could tell that a poop was coming so I decided to see if we couldn't use the toilet. I sat backwards on the toilet seat holding Jonah in front of me by the thighs with his head resting against my chest. My partner passed by the bathroom just then and started cracking up, almost crying at the sight of us. But a few minutes later J had his poo -- no mess whatsoever I was pleased and my partner was off to text his friend and tell him about this groundbreaking event.

My mother thinks we are crazy but really we're just trying to offer different options to J. We aren't those parents who would be doing flashcards or anything but since the baby's brain is developing so quickly now, and he's just learning about the ways of the world -- why not just expand on the options we are introducing?

I'm going to go over to my OB and RE offices now to show of J. Hopefully the docs are able to take a peek.

We're using the Sassy MAM bottles and they are working okay. Jonah latches on like he does when he's nursing though its a very different experience to suck at a bottle versus a human nipple. It's got a special soft medical grade silicone nipple designed to feel like a real nipple.

I was showing my partner last night how to prop his head up with his forearm instead of holding up the baby's head with his hand (that looked uncomfortable). My partner has been using the My Brest Friend as well which is cute.

We tried the first bottle at about 4 weeks and it hasn't been a problem. We're now at the point where my partner likes having some fresh milk saved in the fridge so its easier for him to just step in and give the baby a bottle if he's starving and I need a break or just can't be there right then (like when I ran to the grocery store yesterday morning).

a boob report

Still a little lumpy in a couple of ducts on the side but definately feels like its on the mend. Phew but I'm not going to take it easy totally until I know I'm in the clear.

Oh, and here's a cool site -- http://www.geni.com/ -- you can add in your family tree and invite other family members to add in more detail. My mother, second cousin, uncle and I have added in over 200 people so far. Once my great-aunt gets in there and more of the next generation are added in it should keep growing.

Poor Boob

I've got a touch of mastitis right now, really early on. It started with Jonah sleeping more through the night on Thursday night so I woke up engorged and then I wasn't able to empty my right breast fully all day Friday and ended up with a low-grade fever on Friday night. I've been resting, nursing/pumping/expressing a alot, taking ibuprofen and now using heat on the affected area. I called my doc today and he said I was doing the right things but to increase my ibuprofen dosage.

Watch out for engorgement those of you who are nursing, it can cause other issues if you don't stay on top of it -- mostly you just need to really make sure you drain your breasts fully -- so pumping or expressing to make sure it doesn't get inflamed.

I've been extra full or engorged before without a problem but now I've learned not to take it for granted that my body can sort it out.

Two months old

Jonah's going to be 2 months old tomorrow -- where has the time gone? He's such a good little guy though and it's much more fun now that he can smile and talk a bit more (talk as in aahg, yeee, gurgle). He understands a whole range of words now -- milk, momma, daddy, baby, diaper change. His most common response when we ask him if he wants his diaper changed is to go totally silent (like duh, yah mom) and then if I don't do it within a few minutes he gets mad



I'm introducing the same words to him in French and we'll be doing some baby signing as well -- he kind of knows the sign for milk now (as in understands not that he can do the movement himself). My partner and I have been singing, talking and reading to him in French as well and he thinks its funny. We want to live in France for a year in a few years so we want to build up the family's vocabulary, mine included. I'm hoping to get back with my French teacher in another month or so for weekly lessons.

Baby finds his smile

It's been a happy week this week with lots of smiles from Jonah as he finally figured out his smile. It started last Saturday when he smiled at me and I smiled back and then he grinned larger. Here's a shot of one of his smiles.



Jonah is seven weeks old today and boy he's just getting so big. There are many outfits that we've just been able to wear once or twice before he gets too big for them, and a few things that he just won't be able to wear since they seemed to big when he was just born and now he's such a big guy. He's wearing 3-6 months sizes, and many more in the 6 month size, and even some in the 6-12 month sizes.

Tips About Pumping

I was really confused about pumping and storing breastmilk since baby was born and pumping just seemed not a fun thing to do at all (and a bit of an embarassing endeavor as well). Still I think it is worth it, and it's proved to be a saving grace when baby is just wanting to suck and suck for hours and I just want to go lie down and take a nap -- my partner can just give the baby a bottle.

I started out at first by just using the manual part of the Medela PISA, that took a while but it let me get a sense of what happens.

My pediatrician said that pumping after the morning nursing, when the supply is highest is best. At a new moms thing last week the nurse leading the event said that the most efficient way to get the most milk was to express in tandem to nursing. So when you are nursing on one side to express on the other. I tried this and it was hard to attend to my baby and the pump parts at the same time. Perhaps with a better set up or a hands-free bra or something it might work out better -- or maybe when he's a little older.

I looked around for different bottles and got the Sassy Mam after seeing a lot of positive reviews on target.com. My baby seems to try to latch onto the nipple similar to how he latched onto my nipple and its worked out fine.

I think the key thing with bottles is that it is easiest to have someone else give them such as your DH. When my baby seems me, even after he's just had a bottle his instinct is to want to cuddle close to nurse. That's not to say you can't give the bottle, but it might be more challenging.

I try to pump a day or so ahead of when I need the milk handy but one day last week I just really needed a nap so when my partner came home I just handed him the baby and told him to give him milk from the freezer stash. It takes a little longer to prepare but he didn't have any trouble and it gave me a chance to catch up on some sleep uninterupted (yeah!)

My friends IRL told me to try to pump up a stash while my milk is plentiful so we can have it for later. It only keeps in the freezer of our fridge for 6 months though so we'll have to plan around that or indulge in a deep freeze for longer storage. Oh, I also heard that you should store in 2-4 ounces so you can also just defrost a smaller amount if you need it. I'll have to see how that goes. The freezer stash is really helpful though -- I just freeze the milk in the Medela bags and when frozen add them to a freezer zipper bag for safe keeping).

I went into work today for a half day, meeting with a client and then checking in with my team. It was a nice break from the baby, though of course I wanted to see him right away when I got home. My partner stayed at home today to watch him; it was a nice break for him as well to be able to duck out of work and hang with baby. I was glad to hear that they listened to music together and Jonah got to play and hang with dad.

It's been interesting now that the baby is here and people are all congratulatory and interested in the baby. A lot of people didn't know I was pg and so there is surprise that I didn't announce it. I don't know how one is meant to announce to the world that you are going to have a baby, better from my standpoint that they find out after baby is here. But it does also highlight for me how long it took to get here; not too many people know the full extent of the five years and m/cs though more know about my fibroid surgery.

Also, I've been trying to get some house projects going, remodelling, cleaning, and the like. That's when I really feel the disruption of the past three years -- with my two losses and all the grief, followed by being so fatigued when I was pg. I end up feeling like I was checked out for a long time in terms of our home life. I know it isn't true but still I notice the grime of distraction around the edges so to speak. I'm hoping to apply myself now that I'm out of that space and hopefully some of those feelings will subside.

We're already starting to talk about trying for #2. Not any time soon, but maybe we'll start TTC later on this year. It took a long time to get this far and so we don't really want to wait though. For now I think the key thing is to see what's going on with my new fibroids and just to continue to focus on adjusting to life with Jonah.

Five Weeks Plus

Sorry I haven't been posting, there's been a lot of peeing, pooping, spitting up and crying going on over here. Actually Jonah isn't that fussy but he does require a lot of attention. Since I'm trying to keep up with some of my work mail, plus little things like making sure I get fed, get out of the house once a day and do the extra laundry, there hasn't been that much extra time to blog.



I dropped by a new mom group today and there were about 15 new babies there. It was kinda nice to be in a place where Jonah and I aren't such an anomaly. Not too much chit chat by the time we showed up -- with a feed and change for Jonah and lunch for me we showed up for the second hour so I'm not sure if there was socializing before that. There was a medical professional answering questions about vaccinations, fevers, breastfeeding, which was helpful. I offered some tips that I've picked up as well about baby Tylenol and vaccinations.

My question was about Jonah's feeding habits. He signals to eat a lot during the day, sometimes when he's just eaten and sometimes he just overfills and the milk just comes gushing back out. I started offering him my pinkie to suck on here and there to see if he just wants to suck, but most of the time he is hungry so I feed him. He's also had a few bouts of projectile vomiting, but my mother says that I too was a projectile vomiter so I guess he inherited that from me.

I weighed him at the center and Jonah's up around 13 pounds (over 13 pounds with clothes on). Way to go baby. I just looked it up online and his weight gain is on par with normal gain for breastfed babies as per the KellyMom site. That's still up 5 pounds since he was born. No wonder he has been growing out of his newborn and three month sizes though. I was starting to worry but then I went through all the shower gifts and purchases we made months ago and we've got plenty of clothing in the 6-12 months sizes including pajamas - phew!

Who knew that new babies grew that fast though. The other babies there today, even the ones that had already had their 2 months shots, were all smaller it seemed than Jonah. Jonah looked as handsome as ever to me in contrast to the other babies, though there were lots of cute babies there. He was the only baby that made creaky groaning noises (his specialty, particularly at night when he's sleeping and needs a diaper change) and was also the noisiest nurser -- but he wasn't a cry baby like many other, he just slept calmly in my arms for the hour. Lots of other moms were using pacifiers I noted. We haven't really seen the need.

We started out with Jonah sleeping with us, then tried switching him to the bassinette but after a week of nursing him in the wee hours, having him sleeping in my arms in the chair in the nursery and then having him awaken when I tried to set him back in the bassinette I've taken to sleeping with him by my side. It's been a big help for me -- he can grumble and make noises in his sleep and I know right away if he's just being noisy or if he needs to be fed or changed. He sleeps longer as well so I'm not falling on my face tired. I'll still lay him down in the bassinette when we go to be if he's in deep sleep and then bring him over later but this seems to work better for us.

We've been working on our side-lying nursing and Jonah's getting better at it. Last night he rooted around until I pulled up my shirt and then he latched on every couple of hours for a while with some assistance. Neither of us really had to wake up fully. My partner changed him around 4:30 AM as it had been a while and his diaper was pretty wet.

I admit that co-sleeping might present some issues later on but Jonah will nap in his rocker and bouncer seats, the Pack & Play bassinette and his own bassinette -- such as right now -- so I'm trying to keep his sleep options open.

He sleeps so much better at night though when he's in my arms. I feel like a mama bear with her cub curled up beside her. My partner and I think about what would one do in the wild with a newborn; certainly not leave the baby in its own tent down the way as the wild animals would get it. What is the natural sleeping posture of the human animal though since the establishment seems so bent on isolating baby from his parents?

I had a c-section delivery four weeks ago. Thankfully I've dropped a lot of the bloat from pregnancy already in my legs in particular, my hips/belly and butt are all still larger than pre-pregnancy. I've been making do with my maternity pants but I can see that I'm going to have to invest in some transitional pants/skirts. I look forward to getting back into my size 10 jeans though, but for the time being I'm going to have to deal with being a 12/14.

I've been going through all my clothing, emptying my dresser drawers and going through the clothing I set aside during my pregnancy, and I'm paring down. With the breastfeeding boobs its going to be a while before I fit back into many of my old tops and some of them are just worn out. Mostly though I just feel like its time to leave behind some of the past and move on with new clothing.

Rashy Baby

Our first night at the hospital I noticed that Jonah had a rash emerge, first I saw it on his legs but then changing him I saw it was all over his body but not his face. The pediatrician at the hospital said it was some sort of infant dermatitis and that we should consider double rinsing his clothing at home (at that point we were just using the baby undershirts and receiving blankets at the hospital). When we changed Jonah into his own clothes, washed in Ivory Snow detergent the rash went away in a matter of hours. I think it was due to the hospitals using harsh detergents on everything.

Jonah would then get during the first two weeks the occassional red bumps on his cheeks, like little pimples but not white heads. They would clear up overnight and didn't need to be bothered at all. Starting this week though he broke out in a rash all over his face, ears and some on his neck. It seems to be mostly where he gets milk or spit-up on his skin. I looked it up online and in the Sears Baby Book and it said that it was Baby Acne. Treatment is to just wash his face with water and keep his hands clean and nails trimmed. Evidently it will clear up on a few weeks, its just his skin getting used to the outside world.

He also has a little crusty stuff up by the corners of where his eyebrows meet. The books and web say that is Seborrheic Dermatitis, the same as what it commonly referred to as cradle cap. I had noticed earlier in the week that he was smelling a bit on the top of his head like body oil, again it just another step in his skin getting accustomed to life outside the womb. We've just used warm water on cotton and occasionally on a baby washcloth to clean it up and his skin seems to be responding. Jonah doesn't have cradle cap but he does have a little dandruff so I'm making sure to wash his hair every other day to help keep the oil production in check.

At the other end I've been paying mind to Jonah's rear to help make sure that any diaper rash is treated quickly and early. We are using A+D Ointment at one changing station and Desitin Creamy at the other station. I also have Butt Paste if things should get desperate. In looking it up prior to Jonah's arrival I learned that it isn't the wet diapers that causes diaper rash but rather its when the baby's feces mix with the urine that the rash develops. Evidently there are some enzymes in the poo that react with the urine and that causes the problem. Infant poos are pretty loud though so most of the time all you have to do is listen and you know when it's time to change baby. It's also important to wash baby's backside at changing to remove all poo residue -- we're just using water on cotton and not baby wipes for the time being. Then reapply the barrier cream after patting his tushy dry. It seems to be working and it definately helps keep him comfortable.

Here are some links to reference

Newborn Rash -- Is It Baby Acne?

What is Baby Acne?

Back to basics: Caring for the newborn's skin

Diaper Rash — What It Is


Diaper Rash

Here's a Jonah shot from February 21st.


I have to post a couple others -- have to load them from the camera onto the computer first. I also need to take some more shots of him -- he's growing so quickly!

Jonah and I are doing well. My dad is in town this week and we have been venturing out a little bit more as the temperature has been up in the 50s-60s. We've been to the grocery store, bookstore, locksmith, park and Toys R Us to exchange a gift. I tell ya I need a personal assistant to be able to deal with moving the baby about -- my purse, the diaper bag, the baby, a blanket, the car seat, the car seat frame, and then whatever else we are porting along with us -- who has a free hand to unlock a door for instance.

Jonah has been sporting Mama's handknits though -- his striped baby cardi, booties, hats, etc. He's so cute and I love keeping him warm in things I've made for him.

He sure makes a lot of noise at night for such a small baby

I'm up at 4 AM with Jonah in my arms who is for the moment quietly pretending to sleep. With any luck he actually will doze off for good. He's a great baby, not a lot of crying or anything but at night he just does not settle easily and he groan, grunts and stares around if we try to put him to sleep in the bassinette. During the day I can get him good and tired and sleeping in a baby seat or even the bassinette but at night I'm just too tired to wait with him until he's fully out.

Last night I fell asleep in the nursery in our big soft chair for an hour with him sleeping in my arms, that's how tired I was. Sleep seems to come in snatches of an hour or two and sometimes three. I'm probably averaging somewhere between 5-7 hours of sleep a day. People have this wonderful advice that one should sleep when the baby sleeps but in the morning is when I'm awake and a nap isn't really on the agenda. I try for afternoon naps which if I time it right can run as long as almost 2 hours, though more likely just over an hour.

My partner has a client meeting in the morning so I'm just having to suck it up right now. As my mother is gone now I could set up with baby in the guest room and try crashing out there but for now I figured I would try typing and see if that didn't wear him out.

I noticed the other night that there was a lot more singing going on in our bedroom at night now -- both my partner and I try lulling Jonah to sleep. We can calm him down that way for sure (and again, he doesn't really upset easily so we're just winding him down) but it doesn't yet totally put him out.

About Diaper Changing and New Mama with the stomach flu

Jonah has surprised us every few days with poo spewing out in the middle of the change, wetting while you are trying to get the new diaper out and getting the changing table, his clothes and the new diaper wet, or spitting up half of what he just ate in a flood that makes us wonder if he isn't related to Linda Blair. We're getting more savvy now though so we wait after a feeding for him to have a BM and I now know better that after he poos then he pees. The cloth diapers are working out well and my partner and I have a good handle on the changes. Jonah's only had a touch of a start of a rash but its responded quickly to ointment -- I don't want my boy to have a sore tushy. (did you guys know that it's the poo that combines with the ammonia in the urine to cause the irritation -- not the pee itself)

I was soooooo sick on Sunday. It started at 11pm on Saturday night as I went up for bed; I started feeling nauseous. I was up most of the night with gastroenteritis and a 101+ fever (12 hours of spewing from both ends). My mother called the nursing hotline for new moms at the hospital on Sunday so we were operating under their guidance. I also look it up in What to Expect the First Year and it said that you should continue to nurse through your own illness as it would help protect the baby from the illness though you need to help prevent the baby from getting sick from limiting his exposure elsewise.

I was in bed all day with my mother bringing me ginger ale, saltines and chicken broth while my partner minded the baby and just brought him to me to feed. It was awful and I think it was the sickest I've ever been. It made me think that for however well Jonah is doing he really is only 2.5 weeks old and pretty vulnerable. He's doing fine though and it didn't seem to affect him at all -- though my supply dropped temporarily but he just fed more frequently and seemed fine. What a nightmare it was.

I'm in the middle of working on sewing up a Mei Tai carrier for Jonah. With any luck he'll let me focus on it for more than 20 minutes at a time. Here's the style of carrier if you aren't familiar -- http://www.kozycarrier.homestead.com/

About my c-section delivery after myomectomy

Friday morning I woke up early, as was typical for my pregnancy, though I couldn't have a snack as I would normally do -- no food after 1:30 AM. I took a shower at 6AM and got myself, my mother and partner ready to head out to the hospital by 7:30 but we were still a little late.

I waddled into the hospital entry and we figured out which elevator to take up to obstetrics where my sister was patiently waiting for us (actually she had texted me on the way to the hospital and I jokingly replied that I had changed my mind about the delivery).

They got us into a room right away, which was used for both pre-op prep and recovery. I changed into a hospital gown with nothing else on though I did leave my socks on for a while as my feet were cold. The nurse hooked me up to a monitor on my belly and the baby started kicking right away -- he hated having things resting on the belly such as books when I was reading in bed at night. They were checking his heartrate and checking me for any contractions. I didn't think I was having any contractions, braxton-hicks or otherwise and this was confirmed by the nurse (I was proud to know my body so well). They got my IV started, hooked me up to some IV fluids to keep me hydrated and then the nurse gave my pubic area a shave with an electric razor.

I explained that my sister would be attending as a doula and they were cool with that. My partner and sister both changed into surgical garb with booties, hats and masks. My sister had brought some lavendar with her to help calm me during the procedure -- a French lavendar sachet smelled awesome. My doctor came in to check in with us, and soon it was time to get into the OR. I rubbed my baby's knees and feet inside of me for one last time.

They wheeled me down the hall just a few doors and into the cold operating room which was full of people who would be assisting with the delivery. There was my OB, another OB, the surgical nurse who helped prep me, another nurse, two anaesthesiologists, my partner and my sister -- and possibly more. The first thing was getting the spinal set up which wasn't painful at all as they had one of those automatic blood pressure cuffs squeezing the life out of my left arm -- I didn't feel anything in my back. Next they lay me out on the operating table and pulled a drape up close to my face -- closer than I thought it would be. We then waited for the spinal to take affect, first a warm feeling and then they kept checking to see if I was getting numb where they would be cutting me open. Finally I was numb enough and they quickly got into action.

The anaethesiologist said to let him know if I felt nauseous and quite soon after I was hit with a wave of nausea. I barely had to say a word before he put in some medication to help control it and it passed quickly. I was feeling stressed and overwelmed though as I could feel pressure of them working on my belly and the curtain was so close to my chin and the spinal does make your breathing feel a little weird. I had my partner rub my shoulders and my sister brought the lavender close to my nose and that helped to keep me together. It was intense being awake during the procedure and they don't give you any sedatives or anything as they don't want to affect the baby, just the spinal which removes the pain sensations but not the touch sensations.

The time came for them to pull out the baby from me and one doctor was pressing (more like heaving) high on my belly while they yanked him out with a suction cap. Oh boy that was a crazy feeling.

Then there he was. A wet, vernix coated crying baby boy. He was a big healthy baby I could see as they whisked him across the room, with long arms and big hands. I got misty at seeing this little being finally here -- and with me in such a state. My partner was recruited to help trim down the umbilical cord and they wiped him off some and did what not and all I could do was look over at him in wonderment. The doctors continued working on me but having the baby to focus on helped to distract me from the pushing and pulling sensations.

Finally they brought the baby over to me (really it was only a few minutes after he was pulled out) and as I started talking to him little Jonah started cooing and making all sorts of noises to me. There was no doubt about it, he knew I was his mama -- what a precious memory that is for me. I was able to touch his soft cheek and give him a kiss and then they had to tend to him some more mostly stabilizing his body temperature I think.

The whole affair lasted about 40-50 minutes total and after that we were wheeled back in to recovery where they got me set up with the PCA pump. A nurse helped to get the baby to latch on and showed my partner what to do. I was totally out of it with the narcotics. My partner, sister and mother got to hold the baby lots at this point while we tried to stay ahead of the pain. I loved how they would try to give me directions and things while I could hardly keep my eyes open.

They moved us into our private suite and over the evening hours they removed my catheter (inserted after the spinal took affect), had me go to the toilet, had me drink cool water, took my and the baby's temp religiously to make sure we were both stable, and switched me onto percocet and ibuprofen. I was able to nurse Jonah with my partner's help and he was wetting diapers, and soon started passing meconium.

I fell asleep with Jonah layed across my chest at one point and when I woke up and saw his little face I just about melted; he was so tiny and perfect. My partner stayed with us in the room and slept a few stretches with the baby next to him. I also shifted to one side of the hospital bed and he lay next to me with Jonah which was super nice as well. It was just a really nice nesting experience and it was like the rest of the world didn't exist for those couple of days.

He was very tied into my voice in the first few days post delivery and would seek me out and start to root if he heard my voice. He's more confident about my presence now so he isn't quite as anxious to seek me out and knows I will come if he needs me.

We decided to check out of the hospital as soon as possible on Sunday as the nurses kept pushing percocet, stool softeners, gas-x and ibuprofen on me. I didn't have that much pain after my myomectomy and also since I had been through that experience my body wasn't as shocked about the pain and I found it manageable. The nurses couldn't seem to understand that even though I kept telling them I was doing okay. On a scale of 1 to 10 my pain never got to be more than a 4 -- unless I was moving around a lot and most of the time it was barely a .5. I also hated that the percocet would make me feel all loopy and I couldn't keep my eyes open. I took ibuprofen for the next five days and after that I didn't need anything.

I found one of the most interesting things about my recovery from the c-section is that compared to how tired and big I felt in late pregnancy my body felt a lot better post delivery. The operation itself also was less invasive than excising the large fibroid and even my OB confirmed that nature wants to make the mother heal quickly to help tend for her baby.

My incision actually looks better than after the myo. The skin lines up better and that extra pad of fat above the incision isn't there any more. Not bad, now I just wonder how I'll look in a bikini (LOL).

My OB said that they felt around while they were cleaning me up and the fibroid didn't feel too significant. He said I can get an ultrasound in six months to see how its doing. My partner asked him how soon we could start trying again (oh brother) and my doc said 8-9 months post-partum as ultrasound studies have shown that the site where the placenta had attached still showed signs of healing at 7 months post-partum.

So, while I don't think the c-section was fun, it was definately not an entirely miserable experience and all things considered I would rather have a scheduled c-section than an emergency c-section.

(I'll add more details as I recall them)

Early Breastfeeding Observations

I didn't do anything special to prepare other than study and read about proper latch techniques -- lips flared outward, nipple pointed up towards the back/roof of the baby's mouth, bring the baby to the boob not the boob to the baby, proper posture, etc.

I had a c/s delivery two weeks ago and was still able to get the baby to latch on all right -- first with the help of the post-partum nurse and then for the first tries with my partner managing both baby and nipple.

I did have colustrum and he seemed to be doing great at getting it out of there but dang all that suction was really intense those first few days. His bowels started moving pretty quickly (he was passing meconium for several days) but by the fourth morning my baby's lips were looking a little dry and his skin was starting to lose some of its hydration. I think it's par for the course the first few days which is why term infants have some extra body fat to help get them through. My milk came in hours later though, and not a moment too soon.

Within the first hours of nursing him I did notice tiny blisters on my nipples. I don't think you can really avoid this or prepare your nipples for it. It's way more than just friction. The blisters did scab over a little bit after a couple of days and I used Lansinoh to help them heal which thankfully only took a couple of days -- its really important to stay on top of this irritation early on.

The first or second night after my milk came in baby had a massive suck fest, feeding ever 1-1.5 hours for hours on end. I believe his body was trying to catch up on the calories he lost in the first few days. You might notice something similar with your baby. Typically now he eats between 1.5-3.5 hours and not usually that closely together overnight.

Your baby very well may consume more milk than he can handle so make sure to have some bibs, washcloths, etc. at hand as he might spit back up half of what he ate. If you are sensitive and pay attention you can actually help moderate how long he nurses to help make sure he doesn't over fill himself.

My baby typically still only takes one breast at a feeding and that seems to work out fine for us. A lactation consultant from the hospital called to check up on us a few days post-partum and she said to burp him and then try him on the other side but I've not had any supply issues -- rather he takes in too much or even ends up choking sometimes as the letdown can bring on too much.

One of my friends emailed me a couple weeks before baby arrived and said to me that no matter what I know my baby best so I've used that as a rule of thumb. (he had gained 10 oz by 12 days postpartum so I know it is working for us).

Use wet and soiled diapers, plus baby's swallows and satisfaction as your guide that he's taking enough nourishment.

Also, something I haven't really seen described anywhere is that not only do your baby's lips need to be flanged outwards but inside his mouth a large part of him working the nipple involves your baby chewing down on the areola with his gums. The lips can look perfectly positioned and still your baby might end up with his gums chewing on the nipple. This kills so you need to pry his mouth off by inserting your finger in the side of his mouth until he breaks the latch and try again.

I feel fortunate in that it was only about 5 days of pain/discomfort and my baby is a real trooper about working with me on relatching him as many times as it takes.

One more thing, your baby will start rooting around and making little noises indicating he is ready to eat prior to crying. If you respond to his early signals then he's going to be more patient with you, if you wait until he is upset and crying then both of you are going to be agitated and frustrated.

I found that as I got closer to the end of my pregnancy I started to be able to let more of my fears go and just be. I hope you will find the same as you get into those final weeks where the baby's health even if s/he should come early is more certain. I still am amazed at how long it took for us to get here, but I learned so much along the way (not that it was all willingly experienced) that I know I'm stronger for it

I've talk to my partner some in the past few days about how many tears I shed thinking that we would never get here -- negative doctors, difficult diagnoses, our losses, the surgeries, etc. And, for all the times my partner was like "it doesn't matter to me either way if we have a baby" he's now totally in love with his baby and he's upstairs right now working on editing songs from his band on the computer with Jonah in a pouch and he can't wait to have the chance to bottle feed him in a few weeks.

I don't know if one can ever totally reconcile what infertility does to you, but in the present moment there is such a sense of satisfaction and joy at being able to take care of this perfect little guy (with his tiny puss) that I can honestly say I'm happy -- tired yes, but happy.

My animals have been a little out of sorts, but mostly they are doing well. One cat pooped in the hallway the other day but I've been slowly showing him the baby, giving him extra attention (or even just more of the regular attention he's used to) and extra brushing and he seems like he's relaxing about it a bit.

We are co-sleeping at the moment and rather liking it -- all three of us. It makes it easier to give each other a bit of a break over night, even if just for a couple of hours, to know that the other one is one duty with the baby. We've also had some giggles with middle of the night diaper changes when we put the diaper on the wrong way or the baby decides to shoot out some poop right as you are in the middle of changing him into a new one -- twice in the space of a minute. We'll continue to make adjustments as needed though as my partner is going to have to be able to get a bit more rest overnight so I'll be likely doing more changes and feedings in the nursery in the coming weeks. My partner goes back to work tomorrow -- only 4 days off though he's going to work from home when he can, and work shortened hours.

I've got to eat some lunch before we head out to the pediatricians for a little check-up. Since we are nursing they wanted to have Jonah checked a couple days after we left the hospital for hydration, jaundice and weight. The kid has been nursing so vigorously and soiling so many diapers that I would be surprised if he isn't over his birth weight already.

Just dropping by for a quick note. Baby's sleeping downstairs with Grandma at the moment so I've got a bit of a break.

So Jonah's birth weight was 8.05 lbs. His discharge weight was 7 lbs 7 oz. At his ped appt. he was back up to 7 lbs 13oz. -- so gaining over an ounce a day.

He's a great eater, and getting him to latch hasn't been that difficult. Granted it takes us a few tries but we're both determined and we've always worked it out.

Little things I've noticed over the past few days...

In spite of a careful latch I still developed tiny blisters on my nipples in the first few days, which then scabbed over slightly. Lansinoh helped to get me over that hump. I don't see how one could not get blisters though as the suction of the little one isn't like something your nipples can prepare for.

Milk letdown has built up over the past few days to the point where the breast I'm not feeding from will start leaking while I'm nursing. It's good to keep a towel on hand to help out with that and the inevitable spit up.

Lying in bed the other night I suddenly felt like my breasts heaved a little on their own, and I got a tiny little headache in-between my eyes (yin tang point in acu). I figured out quickly that it was letdown -- just on its own, without nursing -- probably because I was just relaxing thinking about baby lying next to me. I've noticed that I get that little headache for a few minutes at the start of letdown at each feeding -- so weird and I'm thinking of asking my acu about it.

I haven't had a lot of post-partum bleeding, just pink. It does increase some after a feeding and I can definately feel my uterus contracting while I nurse -- which at the moment just feels like an uncomfortable pinchiness -- probably due to my c/s.

I'm learning about my baby's patterns when he requires attention -- usually it is tied to digestion. He fusses b/c he is hungry, has bubbles (or is trying to help move food in his GI tract) or is trying to have a BM. These things can happen in almost any order though, so you start with the obvious:

If he's rooting he's hungry
If he's rooting but fussing and won't latch then he either needs a diaper change or he's in need of a tummy rub
If he starts fussing in the middle of a feed then he needs a tummy rub or a burp
If it's been a while since he was last changed then start with a diaper change
(lather, rinse, repeat)

Since my milk came in we had to adjust our expectations as there are now more wet diapers to deal with. Also, he can eat more than his stomach can hold and in the middle of the night I went to pee and came back and my partner was asking me what this big wet patch was on the bed. It turns out that Jonah had a huge spit-up all over my partner and the bed.

Here's a suitably cute pic of Jonah

Jonah is an awesome little guy, pretty alert (always looking around), eating really well, and cooing a lot. We're really enjoying our time with him.

Friday was a bit rough (no I don't recommend c/s if you can avoid it) as I was overwelmed and drugged up. Still we got nursing going well and it was great having my partner, mother and sister there to help look after Jonah.

My milk finally came in today, and not a moment too soon -- I was really mindful of getting him to latch well but colustrom sucking hurts after a while. The meconium poops were a yucky mess there for a while too, but now we're moving on and they are easier to clean up.

I came home yesterday afternoon, pretty tired but ready to leave the disruptions and overmedicating of the hospital behind me. It's been interesting trying to sort out a little bit of a schedule and where to change him etc. but we're figuring it all out. I love to hold and look at him, he's so tiny and perfect

Introducing Jonah Blue

Born via cesarean section February 9th 2007, 9:58 AM weighing 8.05 pounds.

Belly at 38 weeks 5 days

Here's the last belly shot before baby gets here. It's not the best comparison to the earlier shots but it will have to do.


Looking forward to sharing new adventures with you in the coming weeks and months. Thanks for all the notes of support :)

I've got my last few things on order and in route or planned (just to help myself keep them straight here they are):

Area rug -- arrived this afternoon
Shades for windows -- on order, should be done by end of next week from Lowe's
Diaper pins and fasteners -- on order from local WAHM
Changing pad for changing table -- coming Thursday from BabyCenter
Infant Carseat Frame -- in place of stroller coming next week
Bottles -- Sassy Mam, coming next week
Baby socks -- my partner got them this evening at Gap

I've got my cloth diapers, breast pump, diapering accessories, sorted out.

I need to finish up packing my bag for the hospital, though I'll have to do some more laundry as there isn't much that's comfortable that fits right now. We'll take one more belly shot before we go in.


------

My partner went all out and laid out the new area rug in the baby's room this evening. He kept saying afterwards -- Instant baby's room -- though honestly it's taken a good 7 weeks to get it to where it is now. It's feeling pretty ready for us now though and I'm comfortable in it and looking forward to getting to bond with baby boy in it.

I'll have to see about getting a post up here over the weekend if I can. Still, I can't believe I'm about to become a mother.

Diaper Delivery Today

As I have mentioned previously, we are going to try our hand at cloth diapering. It will have its challenges I'm sure, but we don't really like the idea of adding disposable diapers to the landfill (you use something like 10-12 diapers a day with a newborn!)

I signed up with the local diaper service for a month, and then we can decide if we want to continue with that for a while longer or shift over into our own stash of diapers.
Cloth diapering has come a long way in the past 10 years, there are new microfiber options that keep baby dry and can be reused. Pretty fancy stuff. We're just starting out with cotton diapers and diaper covers made from new materials.

This morning the diaper service dropped off the first lot of diapers and a diaper pail, maybe not that exciting for you but for me it's one more thing crossed off the list.



Earlier in the week I was able to find someone selling diaper covers through Craigslist. It's really common to buy these items used and they are in fine condition -- half price for the lot, not bad.

I've also got a bunch of diaper creams, cotton, etc. I just need a changing pad and diaper fasteners and we're good to go. Phew!

My Delivery Plans

I'm going to have my partner and sister (a doula in training, she just needs to attend more births as a doula) at the delivery. My OB did mention it was partly up to the anaesthesiologist how many people we have in the room though. I'm thinking it will work out how I'd like though.

My doctor said he would lower the drape when they are going to pull baby out if I like. He said that the baby will stay in the room with us the entire time after the delivery (provided there aren't any issues needing extra care for him). My partner isn't interested in cutting the cord he has told me.

Actually my partner is rather liking the idea that he's going to be the first one to interact much with our baby boy. He tells me he's going to take him off to the side and get to know him and name him and eventually I'll get to be introduced. I think he knows that it's not totally up to him how it goes, and we will try to offer the breast to the baby soon after delivery.

I worry that trying to figure out nursing and the new baby with too many visitors is going to be a little overwelming. I'll probably be in the hospital for a few days, but my inclination is to send out an email to friends and family ahead of time letting them know what my expectations were about visitors. I just have a feeling that with my temperment I'm going to need some room to be able to figure out how to care for my baby without additional outside pressure and expectations.

For anyone reading who is also going to have a planned cesarean, The Essential C-Section Guide is a helpful book to read as it will run you through the paces of what to expect including breastfeeding post surgery.

My partner has struggled a little with the idea that my sister and mother will be included in the delivery and post-partum period (my mom's coming for 3 weeks and she's soooo excited about her first grandchild's arrival) but for me it just feels right. After talking to him more about it, and him talking with other female friends who have children, he's come to see that having a grandmother's help is a good thing, even if they might drive you a little crazy in the meantime. For me I feel like it helps take all the pressure off of me to have extra hands to help mother our baby boy -- and hopefully it will let me rest and heal better.

------------

Changing the topic slightly, the doctor's office called and my test results came back great. I tested negative for Strep B, my ferritin had jumped up from 7 in November to 13, and my hematocrit was up from 31 to 35.7. The nurse said that compared to many other woman at this late stage in pregnancy my blood work looked great. Its nice to know that taking all the vitamins is helping. I just wanted to be sure that things were looking okay prior to going in for surgery next week.

37 Week OB Visit

I had my appointment with my doctor today. The nurse claimed she tried to reach me a few times but all I got was one message. My c-section has been scheduled though, for 9:30 am on Friday 2/9. One more thing out of the way.

My blood pressure was good, urine test clear, I gained another 6 pounds but that's still only about 30 pounds gain total. I got a surprise check today. The hospital requires a strep B test for all women so I got swapped down below. The doctor also checked my cervix, which is softened but not dialated at all and the baby's head is down there but ballotable (he's not engaged or fully pressing down on the cervix yet).

I asked pointedly if we should be checking on my anemia and he agreed (hey, I don't think someone with a history of anemia should be going into surgery without a good sense of where its at beforehand). So that's out with the strep B and I guess I'll have some results later this week or something.

Lots of braxton-hicks this morning, and some achiness in my low pelvis, something feels like it is banging into my cervix, probaby the kid's head or hand or something.

While I was in the restroom my partner ran into a friend of ours, she asked if he was there because we were expecting. Later I joked with him that he should have said that he was there for his own gynecological appointment (hehe). She's expecting as well and has been on bedrest for weeks due to cervical thinning issues but she made it to 26 weeks so far which is great.

My next appointment will be on Monday and then we'll deliver on Friday. Finally we are really in the home stretch.

No word back from the doctor's office -- I'm going to talk to him on Monday about how disappointed I am to be neglected in this manner at this late stage. I called in 5 times over the past week and all I got back was one message with a couple of times on my home phone from a nurse or something. Totally unacceptable. My friend said last night that this was how my pg could be like a natural delivery -- you just never know when its going to happen.

I got through the work week, and finally got a bit more rest Wed and Thurs nights. No more going into the office for a while.

My big things this week are (mine you my partner is going to be helping with many of these things):

• Get windows repaired in baby's room (Sun)


• Get infant car seat installed in my car


• Baby shower tomorrow afternoon (I just know I'm going to cry)


• Color my hair (since it's going to be a while before I can do it again)


• Arrange for moving a sofa from my house to the office


• Work on finding a pediatrician


• Order some Prowrap diaper covers and Snappis (for the cloth diapers, due for delivery next week)


• Get furniture moved back into baby's room from guest room


• Move boxes of my books into my office out of the hall


• Order new mattress for guest room bed so my mother won't hate me when she comes to stay and help out (it's a really crappy mattress that I bought when I was 23 and had no money)


• Tidy up around the house (including washing the kitchen floor)

And when I'm not keeping busy with all that I've got knitting and work to keep me busy.

36 week Belly Shot

Yes, I'm still growing. Baby feels like he's definately starting to run out of room in there. I can't believe how much he has grown since December when he was all small and flipping around. Now all he has room to do is kick his legs a bit and rotate side to side. I do feel him more down by my bladder now as well.



I've not been sleeping well at over for the past 2.5 weeks. I wake up at 5am almost every day. Sometimes I have a hard time going to sleep, sometimes I just have a hard time sleeping for longer than 3 hours at a time. My last day in the office will be tomorrow, after that I'll work some from home but mostly rest and take care of my remaining to-dos, like trying to get a pediatrician, something I haven't had time to do.

We've been busy at work on the nursery and house today. Things are still a mess from the work that we've been doing, and I'm not going to be able to do much more, yet baby's going to be here possibly on Feb 8th, maybe sooner.

I've been shopping online at drugstore.com for various nursing and baby care items. Its easier on me to just have them delivered. I still haven't decided on an nursingwear, but I figure I'll just deal with that when I know how big my boobs are going to get and what not.

I'm also going through the baby clothes we have in the house and I'm going to be doing some laundry today to have the smallest outfits ready. I still can't believe we are going to have a baby. I've spent more time around puppies and kittens so I'm trying to prepare myself for that instead -- at least I can relate to it. My partner raised a rainbow lorikeet (a type of parrot) from a baby so he's thinking of leveraging some of that to get himself ready.

We're both getting more and more tired and grouchy. My hips hurt when I sleep at night so I have to roll back and forth all night long, and then get up a few times to go pee. It's not very restful. Oh, and the past couple of weeks its gotten harder to walk when I do get up in the middle of the night, my hips just feel all weird. What happened to my dancer-trained body? Will I ever get it back? It's so strange to feel these changes in my body.

I'm feeling better this morning. Overnight I was still uncomfortable but not contracting hardly at all.

I had a project launching for a client, a photoshoot, and some other deliverables due at work this week and I worked longer hours (just more like 8 hours a day instead of 6 that I've been trying to do). I also caught a cold from my partner that my body has been fighting. And then I think I just wasn't drinking enough water this week. I'm going to rest this weekend and drink a ton of water and hopefully that will get me sorted out.

I didn't like that experience at all. Baby seemed fine, though annoyed by the contractions.

At the end of the work day I started feeling really hot and this sensation like I'm gonna die (not really but occasionally I'lve just feel that way throughout the pg). I had just drank two pints of water, and I think I've been behind on my water intake overall. I started having contractions. Not just one but about 10 in an hour. Because I had gotten all hot and flushed feeling I knew that I was pushing myself too much. I had to wait a little while for my partner to finish up at work as he was in a team meeting but we came home and I drank more water and got in bed. I felt so lousy, sort of like period cramps and my body didn't easy settle down like it does. I did sleep for about an hour and a half easily then got up and ate dinner.

As I had a headache and still felt weird I decided to call the doc about it. The on-call doc called back and said probably it wasn't labor but I explained that I'm not supposed to go into labor. He was saying that typically they would deliver someone post myomectomy (fibroid surgery) at 37.5 weeks and do an amnio to check for lung maturity -- which is earlier than my doc and I have talked about and he hasn't even mentioned the amnio. At any rate, he said that I can see how I feel over night, and if I want just call back and I can go into triage at the hospital and they will take a look at me and the baby to see how we are doing. He said at where I am now (just finishing 35 weeks) they wouldn't try to stop labor if I started -- but then again, I'm not supposed to be in labor.

I got my partner to stay home tonight instead of going out. His friends are going to come over and hang out downstairs so I'm just going to knit in our attic (the other hangout spot in the house). I just didn't want to be left alone.

I'll let you know how I'm feeling -- either in the morning or overnight.

Here's what I do have:

* a bunch of baby undershirts and onesies;
* my first month's cloth diaper delivery scheduled and paid for,
* a basinette (in need of some sheets -- or else I'll just wrap the mattress in some flannel I bought)
* a bunch of handknit items.
* a car seat (Graco SnugRide) that's still not installed
* a fleece pouch
* a bunch of receiving blankets and a swaddler.

I'm counting on breastfeeding working out as I don't have any bottles or anything purchased on that end. I'll be in the hospital for 3-4 days after my c/s so I can use a hospital pump if I need to and we can arrange for whatever as we need to from there - right?

My partner is freaking about my mother coming for a few weeks around and after the delivery. Between my parents and his mother we'll have visitors for a month. I feel okay about having my mother there. I think she will be helpful, we don't always agree on things but she's not overbearing and she will make sure I eat and sleep. Having been through 2 m/cs and abdominal surgery with my partner, I can't say the same for him. I love him dearly but I want to make sure that I'm being looked after so I'm not totally stressed out in the early weeks.

I put a call into my OB's office earlier but he was out today so no word yet on when my c-section will be.

I'm up in the middle of the night. I was tossing and turning, my hips were aching and I was sweating. My body's been fighting a cold that my partner caught. He's had it worse than I thankfully, but like when I've caught other colds over the past 5 months, my joints in my legs just ache and ache.

I'm starting to get nervous about the baby coming. I don't know when my c/s will be but it's less than 3 weeks away. I worry that I don't have enough "stuff" that I will need when he comes and that I won't be easily be able to go get it. My mother's so excited about coming to help out, but my partner is freaking out that she will be here for a few weeks. I went through my abdominal surgery and the 2 m/cs with him though and I know that I'll get better care if my parents are around -- they will cook and make sure that I have everything I need. (remember how my partner had band practice even when I was in m/c labor at home ) He's a really awesome guy, but I recognize his limits. He's super excited about the baby coming and I know that they are going to have a great relationship -- but the early weeks are about ME (right?)

I've had two big BH contractions tonight, and one other when I got up before -- within a 2 hours period. Hopefully I just need to drink more water. They really don't want me to go into labor at all b/c my risk of uterine rupture is that much higher b/c of my fibroid surgery. It's weird to have gone through this whole pg with everything going pretty easy and then now in the final weeks to find myself in the high-risk group. It wasn't really a concern before now though, I just have to avoid labor.

I had my OB appt this morning. Finally the doc is starting to pay more attention to my risk of uterine rupture (due to prior uterine surgery to remove a large fibroid) so while I have the c/s scheduled for 2/15 they might move it up a week -- maybe more. He's going to consult with some other practioners to get their input and I directed him to speak with my RE who did the surgery who is located in the same building as he.

For some reason the prospect of the baby coming sooner is just making me feel stressed. My partner said its time for the kid to get out of there and for me to get my body back -- he says he doesn't like seeing me not be able to move around as easily.

I'm trying to take deep breaths, a little qi gong even, to try to calm me down.

Nursing/Breastfeeding Links

I'm still researching this topic but breastfeeding supplies and clothing are definately things I need to figure out before I need them -- at least some basics. Plus some of my online friends have been bugging me to share anything that I've come across about nursingwear -- so in order to appease my adoring public, here's what I know ;)

From reading discussions online it seems like:

• nursing pads are helpful, to protect you from advertising when you are leaking in public


• that breasts get larger when your milk comes in


• that bebe-au-lait style nursing covers aren't that well appreciated by baby after a while (they want to see what's going on)


• that you have to factor in for staining on any garments you wear with baby around


• underwires can contribute to conditions that invite mastitis


• that renting a hospital-grade breast pump can be worth it


• that pacifiers and bottles can cause some nipple confusion in the newborn and are best left until after breastfeeding is well established (if used at all)


• that breastfeeding after a c-section might be a slightly more challenging due to the interference of the meds but it might just require some alternate positioning


• that breastfeeding hurts many women in the early weeks but if you soldier on it will get easier (just watch out for proper latching to help prevent some of the pain cause)

You know me though, I've been bookmarking sites for the years it's taken me to get pregnant so of course I have a stash of breastfeeding links as well.

General Breastfeeding Links

How Does Milk Production Work -- learn about lactogenesis

KellyMom.com - well regarded breastfeeding information site

La Leche League Breastfeeding Links

Breastfeeding After a Cesarean

Frequently asked questions about Pregnancy and Nursing -- an page from a site that's all about cutting back on your sugar/refined carbs. It has some interesting points and ideas about balancing your blood sugar and beta-endrophin hormone level (I worry that I'm going to crash big time after delivery since I've been so much less moody during my pregnancy -- this page says that while I'm nursing this can continue though)

Nursing Wear

Motherwear

Nursing Bras Sizing Tips

Glamourmom -- breastfeeding tank tops

Milkface Nursingwear

One Hot Mama - Nursing & Maternity

Mother's Milk Boutique

Bella Materna -- nursing wear and maternity

Mommy Gear - Breastfeeding apparel and supplies

Bebe-au-Lait

Expressiva Nursingwear

Bravado! Designs -- nursingwear

Milkdudz -- Nursingwear

EvaLillian - maternity and nursing clothing

Miscellaneous Breastfeeding and Related Links

United States Breastfeeding Committee (USBC) - working collaboratively to protect, promote and support breastfeeding

An Investigation of the Factors Influencing Breastfeeding Patterns (PDF)- a dissertation by Alison Jacknowitz

Treatment of bovine mastitis with medicinal herbs and acupuncture -- when I search about mastitis (or even many fertility topics in general about ovulation induction, hormone levels, etc.) I often come across links related to animal husbandry -- there's an economic incentive for the research in this area (as opposed to for humans). I was looking for one about acu and mastitis and this was the best link I came across.

Normal Breasts Gallery -- a fascinating page of shots of the different shapes and sizes of women's breasts, including latating mothers and post-breastfeeding as well

And for pure entertainment value we bring you the Boob Stand video clip

Preparing the house for baby

Our whole house is in a state of upheaval. It started out with some books and clothes that needing to be donated to charity and haven't yet made it out of the house. Then it expanded to painting the baby's room which involved packing up my art studio into boxes lining the upstairs hallway. Then we ordered a new sofa with a sofa bed and my partner indulged in a new flatscreen TV so that he would want to hang out downstairs with the baby more when he arrives. That involves relocating a bunch of furniture around the house so right now the entire living room, which is two rooms together, is a wreck. I've got some of our baby things in the diningroom since the guest room is going to hold some more of the furnishings of the baby's room while we get the floor refinished this week. I also have to take down the Christmas tree but everything in the livingroom is in the way.

My partner decided that he needed to finish the trim in my office and then he will get started on building a new bookcase in there and we'll also relocate a cabinet from the livingroom. Everything is up in the air at the moment. I hope that by the end next weekend some of the insanity will be over and we'll have a lot more in order around the house.

33 Week OB Visit

I had an OB appointment this morning. Things are still looking good. I gained 4 pounds since my last visit but his assistant said a growth spurt was expected around now. That brings me up to about 30 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight but I feel like I'm doing okay.

They were pleased as always to hear that the baby was quite active. He's a very wiggly little guy and while it hurts more when he kicks and moves and stretches, its also comforting as he seems really healthy to me and my partner. His heartrate was at 155 for those of you who like stats.

I asked about who I call and what I do if I should go into labor and they said just call the office and let them know I had a myomectomy and I need to have a c-section. The office will call the hospital to let them know I'm on my way. Okay then, that's a plan. We talked more about the delivery date and after some discussion it was clear that he would like it to be a little earlier than February 15th, which is his due date of record based on that silly pregnancy wheel. As per Ovusoft and my own personal experience of a painful ovulation the cycle we conceived, my due date should be the 17th. Still the goal is to avoid labor and to have a safe surgical delivery, and my doctor is so not imposing so we are talking about doing it earlier that week, perhaps on the 12th.

Separately my partner as we were leaving the office expressed concern about my mother coming for the delivery and staying for a couple of weeks. I remember how after my myo how I had to cook for myself most of the time, and this time there will be an new infant to take care of as well. I'm feeling okay about having my mother around, he just wants to make sure he has time to bond with the baby on his own without my mother interfering. I told him I would speak with my mother and let her know that part of the plan with her staying is that she needs to allow us to have space as well. She's always on her computer and she knows people in the area so I don't think it's going to be too hard.

Driving to the office I started feeling a little weepy, I didn't but I just felt a little touched by things. Surgery, healing, the baby, my partner, my mother -- it feels a little overwelming. Plus the house is in a state of disarray as we reorganize to make way for our new roommate.

I often think of our neighbor's golden retriever who was a lovely dog. She whelped a little of puppies when she was young and took off after a few days after the birth and went missing for 4 days. They were frantic. Ultimately we found her but she had obviously just been overwelmed by things. Or my childhood cat who had her kittens in my doll carriage on top of some old baby blankets; I would put her in there but she never liked to stay. It was the perfect place to have her litter though.

I best get back to work.

Belly at 33 weeks

Finally I got my partner to take a photo of my belly again; it's been a few weeks. I'm feeling very full of baby now, I think he had a growth spurt, and when I look in the mirror I'm amazed at the size of my bump.

Did I tell you all that I'm scheduling the c/s for 2/15? We've decided. So unless baby decides to make an early entrance we have a finish line.

I put my name in for the diaper service and we're working on the nursery, trying to finish up the painting. I have an order of things coming from babycenter that should arrive tomorrow, my mother helped me pick out more layette items and sheets while she was here.

I don't have any breast feeding supplies of any kind yet, nor for diapering either. We also have to decide on the baby's crib and get that ordered. More shopping to do still yet.

Still Researching Infant Seats and Strollers

I bought the baby bargains book the other day and I've been comparing it to other reviews for strollers and the like online. Here are a few more places to look:

http://www.babycenter.com/
http://www.strollerqueen.com/
http://www.babychic101.com/
http://www.epinions.com/


We did decide to start with the infant seat, that appears to be the consensus, both online and off. I also just placed my order for a Kangaroo Korner fleece pouch so we can babywear and not just be lugging around an infant carrier.

Our friends got the Peg Perego with the infant seat. I'm still not sure, we need to go check them out in person I think. Weight is going to be a factor for whatever we get, I don't want to be lugging some heavy carrier or stroller if I can help it.

See my prior post about researching infant car seats

Edited to add the new Consumer Reports article about infant car seat safety. We decided to purchase the Graco SnugRide with EPS (whereas before we were leaning towards the Graco SafeSeat, a newer model) and it just arrived yesterday (1/12)

31 Week OB Appt

It's only been about a week and a half since the last appointment but with the holidays and my partner going out of town later this week this was the appointment we were able to get.

Blood pressure was low-normal -- which is normal for me
Baby's heart rate was 146
Fundal height was 32 -- it's slowed down since the fibroid has stabilized so says my OB. I was measuring ahead by 2-3 weeks there for a while.
Weight -- the same as last time, 163. The doc said it wasn't a big deal since we knew that the baby was growing appropriately from the ultrasound.

He asked if the baby moved a lot and we said yes. He asked how I was doing and I told him not so great right now. My stomach has been upset since last night, I don't think I caught anything, just the foods I was eating weren't sitting right with me. I think it was the veggie chili and the oatmeal actually, on top of the pizza Sunday night. Pizza hasn't been agreeing with me at all, even before I got pregnant, but followed by all that soluble fiber and my compressed digestive tract and my body was all in fits about it. I stayed home today to help let it sort itself out.

He asked if I had any questions and I asked him about anesthesia agents used during cesarean delivery. I found an article that says that fentenal (sp?) can interfere with breastfeeding in epidurals. I looked up whether it was used for c-sections and found that it wasn't as commonly used. The doc said they haven't seen any issues with it in their patients but that it isn't used for a spinal block which is what I will have. He also said that fentenal can make you feel really itchy.

Researching Infant Car Seats

There are a million models of car seats out there and I had rather skimmed than researched so I finally roped my partner into helping me pick out a car seat for our baby due in February.

There are several different models, some more appropriate than others for newborns/infants. The different types are:

Rear-facing
Forward-facing
Convertible

Experts suggest using a rear-facing seat for as long as possible, and it seems that some States require their use for babies under certain size limits. Convertible seats will switch from rear-facing to forward facing so that can extend their use.

Some convertible car seat models claim to work from 5lbs on up, with the straps adjusting to different positions but in discussions I have seen online it seems these don't fit small babies as well.

The other option, which is very popular and I'm sure you have seen them, are infant car seats. These models usually feature a base piece into which locks the infant carrier. The carrier can be removed and taken with you to help limit disrupting your sleeping baby. The problem with infant car seats is that babies can grow out of them quickly, either height-wise or weight-wise, and then you have to get them into a convertible seat anyway.

Recent studies have shown that keeping your baby in the infant car seat for longer than the trip length itself could result in the infant being shifted into a position that could compromise their air flow. So, in spite of it being a popular thing to do, porting your baby around in the car seat actually could be injurious.

From our early research it looks like you can get infant car seats for $130 or less. The convertible car seats seem to be running in the range of $300 or so, at least of the models we were looking at based on online reviews from several web sites.

It seems as though you should get a couple years use out of a car seat before having to graduate to a child's booster car seat -- which are required if your child weighs less than 49 pounds.

Here are some links:

CarSeatSite.com -- Which Seat is Best for My Child?

BabyUniverse: Car Seat Buying Guide

Epinions.com - Car Seat Reviews

Improper car seat use can be deadly - 12/13/06

Baby at almost 30 weeks

I had my u/s friday morning and everything looks really good. They estimate he weighs 3lbs. 11oz. already. The u/s tech kept commenting on what a good baby he was, letting her get all her images and angles. He gave a few good kicks while she had the wand on my belly and she commented on how strong he was. They probably say that to everyone but who doesn't want to hear it about their own baby.

Here he is in profile and isn't his nose that much bigger than at 18 weeks:




We ate lunch and then I had my OB appt. I'm up 2lbs from my last visit to 163. He said everything looked good. I made sure he knew exactly where the fibroid had moved to since I made the u/s tech show me. It's out of my pelvis now so it shouldn't interfere with delivery at all. My partner and I asked him a bunch of questions about the delivery -- from when to schedule it (anytime after Feb 8th), to if we could lower the drape during the delivery part (yes), to could my sister (a doula) could attend, to how long I would stay in the hospital (3-4 days), to whether my partner could stay with me (yes, all private rooms with cots), and how soon after I could hang with (as soon as they checked him out in the room) or feed the baby (in recovery).

I stopped by my RE's office after my appt and saw a couple of the support staff who have worked with me before through both of my m/cs and beyond. They both asked me "did we do that?" when they saw my belly but I assured them that we did it ourselves. The scheduler, Debbie, was excited for us and I told her about how I did acupuncture treatment focused on treating my fibroid and stopped trying for a few months last Spring and that when we tried again we got this sticky baby boy. She was going to tell my RE, the one who did my fibroid surgery -- she said they like to know what happens with their different patients. Ultimately they did contribute to the success since they helped me through my two m/cs and the fibroid surgery. I promised to bring him in in the Spring so they could meet him.

Fighting a cold

My partner's been fighting something for days and now I think I'm getting it as well. It seems like just a cold right now, a little sneezing and fatigue. I was so tired that I wanted to lay down at work around 3pm but I pushed on until 5:30 pm and then headed out. I came home and crashed out asleep in bed for two hours -- yes I was hungry but I was more tired than hungry so I opted to sleep first.

When I woke up I felt so crappy but I needed to eat something. My partner's out of town so I was on my own and feeling completely unmotivated to cook. I opted to open a can of sardines and have that with a carrot and some crackers. Nice. Actually sardines have calcium and iron so they are a good thing to eat, and being smaller fish they have less build up of heavy metals such as mercury compared with tuna. For dessert, since I was still hungry I warmed up some peaches that I froze in September in slices -- good for folic acid. Not the most gourmet of meals but well rounded at least.

Time for me to get back in bed now though.

Belly at the Beach

Here's my latest belly shot taken in Venice, CA over Thanksgiving at 28w2d.

Preparing for Baby Lists

Sorry I've been neglecting you. Between travel to LA for Thanksgiving to trying to keep up with work and the demands of my body (naps, eating, rest) I haven't had too much time for blogging. I have been thinking of you though and of ideas for new posts. This is one that I thought would be helpful for many folks planning for their first babies. I've found lots of lists for what you need to prepare for baby and I figured that if I compiled them and compared to how I want to care for my baby I should have a decent shopping list -- or at least an idea of what I'm up against as I've hardly done any shopping so far.

Baby and Mom Gear from BabyCenter.com -- a page with links to multiple lists

Shopping for the First Few Weeks -- this is more household shopping

Layette Needs

New baby basics from Consumer Reports

Baby Shopping List from womenshealth.gov

The Ultimate Baby Layette Checklist

Baby Layette List

Layette Necessities

Layette

Nursery Checklist

Diaper Changing Essentials

Breast and Bottle Feeding Needs

Perineal Massage

Or how to prepare your hooha for pushing a baby into the world. Something that I'm not going to experience first hand.

Evidently with some extra attention you can help prepare yourself manually for some of the stretching that is going to have to happen during a vaginal delivery.

http://www.umich.edu/~umperl/massage.htm
http://www.childbirth.org/articles/massage.html
http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/episiotomy/a/perimassage.htm

http://www.maternitycenter.com/articles/episio2.html

Braxton Hicks Contractions

I had a few Braxton Hicks contractions Wednesday eveing. It was after 10pm and I was trying to get my partner to head home after hanging with some friends downtown for dinner. I think my body just had enough, and I think that sugar drink for the Glucose Toleranced Test dehydrated me. No pain or anything just a constrained, tight feeling about 5 times as I walked back to our car. Disconcerting though to say the least.

It was funny because my OB asked me at my appointment if I had started having any and I really don't think I had. Then again this morning, lying in bed about to get up I had another one. I guess my body is ready to start exercising the woomba now. I'm at 27 weeks today, one more week and I'm into the third trimester.

Glucose Screening and Anemia Blood Test Results

I just heard back from my doc's office. I passed the GTT perfectly (yeah!) but my hemeglobin is low (31.7) and my ferritin is way low (7!). I've got to bump up my iron supplementation, I haven't been as religious as I should be about taking it. I do eat iron rich foods but my body isn't great at absorbing it.

The nurse suggested taking Slow FE so I'll give that a shot. If not we'll just keep on working on it.

26 week OB Appt

Nothing desperately exciting, just a blood draw for my glucose tolerance screening and to check for anemia. I should have the results in the next couple of days. Here are my stats:

Weight -- I gained another 3-4 lbs in the past month, up about 24 overall.
Fundal Height -- measuring at 29, factored largely to fibroid
Baby's Heart Rate -- ranged from 155-160 bpm and he was active after all that glucola/sugar drink for the GTT.

I also brought up some questions about delivery today with my OB, just about hemorrhaging during the c-section and afterwards and making sure he knew that I'm fully aware of interventional radiology and how it can help and that I really don't want a hysterectomy. He understood what I was saying and agreed that while they have a range of meds that can help control bleeding, that they would consider IR prior to hyst should that situation come up. He says unfortunately it does still happen from time to time (not specific to fibroids).

My next appointment is in 3 weeks and I'll have an ultrasound then as well to check on the baby's growth versus the fibroid. AFter that we move into appts every 2 weeks through the 3rd week in January and then every week if everything continues as it should.