I had some mean headaches after AF arrived last week. I don't usually get headaches and not for so many days. I ended up taking aspirin and it still didn't help. I took a tiny bit of vitex early on that last cycle, but weeks earlier, and then I also had taken a b-complex which was new for me. I'm wondering if it was all that extra b that did it to me.

I got calls from my acu and RE offices confirming my appts for tomorrow. I'm curious and a little anxious about what the RE will say.

Live and Learn

I've been going through my posts from 2005, the time between my myo and TTC again and then my second miscarriage. In there I found a reference I made to having headaches in my luteal phase, and for some reason I made the connection to them being related to prolactin levels. The reason this seems so odd to me is that in the middle of my past luteal phase I also had a killer headache, and since I'm nursing prolactin is easily related, though I'm not sure. That was the cycle I tried Vitex and while a little helped a lot, more didn't help at all, it rather delayed my ovulation.

Now that I'm TTC while nursing my cycles are a little more unpredicatable. I was loosely charting the start of my period since I first got my first post-partum AF in September. I've just started using Ovusoft's Taking Charge of Your Fertility software again to track it in a little more finer detail. I'm just tracking symptoms but not yet have I delved into basel temp taking. I know my little guy would be fascinated by the beeping of the thermometer and want to take it out of my mouth so I don't know that it would be a practical thing to do while co-sleeping. I also pulled out my fertility monitor from the back of the closet and took a look at it again. It might come in handy though now my thought is of all those little plastic sticks and their foil envelopes and the impact on the environment.

I'm trying to be diligent about taking my prenatal vitamins as you are supposed to do while nursing. I try to eat a balanced diet, eating a good 3-4 meals a day plus snacks to keep my calorie count up for nursing. The baby is growing well and my energy level has been good so I think we are doing okay in that regard. My partner is back taking Acetyl-l-Carnetine and Arginine again, plus his daily vitamin. We held off on grape seed extract for now and we have talked about getting some more Preseed again, that's the really expensive lube that doesn't hurt the sperm. I think one of the cheapest places to get that is through Ovusoft

Just dropping by for a quick note. Baby's sleeping downstairs with Grandma at the moment so I've got a bit of a break.

So Jonah's birth weight was 8.05 lbs. His discharge weight was 7 lbs 7 oz. At his ped appt. he was back up to 7 lbs 13oz. -- so gaining over an ounce a day.

He's a great eater, and getting him to latch hasn't been that difficult. Granted it takes us a few tries but we're both determined and we've always worked it out.

Little things I've noticed over the past few days...

In spite of a careful latch I still developed tiny blisters on my nipples in the first few days, which then scabbed over slightly. Lansinoh helped to get me over that hump. I don't see how one could not get blisters though as the suction of the little one isn't like something your nipples can prepare for.

Milk letdown has built up over the past few days to the point where the breast I'm not feeding from will start leaking while I'm nursing. It's good to keep a towel on hand to help out with that and the inevitable spit up.

Lying in bed the other night I suddenly felt like my breasts heaved a little on their own, and I got a tiny little headache in-between my eyes (yin tang point in acu). I figured out quickly that it was letdown -- just on its own, without nursing -- probably because I was just relaxing thinking about baby lying next to me. I've noticed that I get that little headache for a few minutes at the start of letdown at each feeding -- so weird and I'm thinking of asking my acu about it.

I haven't had a lot of post-partum bleeding, just pink. It does increase some after a feeding and I can definately feel my uterus contracting while I nurse -- which at the moment just feels like an uncomfortable pinchiness -- probably due to my c/s.

I'm learning about my baby's patterns when he requires attention -- usually it is tied to digestion. He fusses b/c he is hungry, has bubbles (or is trying to help move food in his GI tract) or is trying to have a BM. These things can happen in almost any order though, so you start with the obvious:

If he's rooting he's hungry
If he's rooting but fussing and won't latch then he either needs a diaper change or he's in need of a tummy rub
If he starts fussing in the middle of a feed then he needs a tummy rub or a burp
If it's been a while since he was last changed then start with a diaper change
(lather, rinse, repeat)

Feeling poorly

I'm on cycle day three of my 38th cycle charting. I've been feeling so poorly these past couple of days that I finally looked up dysmenorrhea (painful periods) and I fit the definition to a T this cycle. What's up with that? I've got stomach pain, lower GI discomfort, headaches, I'm not sleeping well. Its actually not a normal pattern for me. I've also still got symptoms from that virus that's been going around the office, others have the same symptoms -- sore back, sinus congestion, faint numbness in hands and feet. One of my employees saw her doc about it today and was told it was indeed a virus and that it might take another 2 weeks for the symptoms to clear out.

I had an acupuncture treatment this afternoon and she treated me for blood stasis in my abdomen that was causing me a lot of menstrual pain, as well as my immune system and also to help stimulate follicle development. They told me to take a break from the herbs for a wee while and see how my body does. I told her about how when I was younger and stressed out my stomach would hurt me (I spent many hours in the nurse's office in 6th grade with stomach aches when my parents were fighting constantly and close to divorce and I wasn't doing my homework), and sometimes if the emotional stress was intense I would get diarrhea (first bad breakup I couldn't eat for a month and when I did I had diarrhea -- I lost 10 lbs). Certain types of really bad stress would even cause me to have mid-cycle bleeds, but never annovulation, I never missed a cycle. She said that it fit in with what she knew already that I have an overactive liver but that normal Western testing wouldn't show any dysfunction and it ties in with my other complaints as well. In TCM the liver is associated with emotions and I'm such a freaking sensitive person and a bit neurotic as well (but I'm sure you noticed that by now). Its just who I am and while I've made lots of changes I don't know how much more I can do. To think that sometimes just being can be the thing that throws you off. I don't even want to know about it. I fell asleep during the treatment at any rate, for a good 40 minutes, which felt good.

While sweeping our back porch the other day I was thinking to myself about what someone on the boards wrote to me after my first loss; she said "God must really love you to put you through so much." I too know that I'm stronger in some ways, maybe more wise to the ways of the Universe and my connection to the world around me. My losses are a part of who I am now.

Sometimes lately I've been thinking of just getting used to the idea that we won't have kids. It's been such a very long road so far. At least I'm needed at work and I'm getting to do more consulting work. I don't know what the future holds and I talked to my great-aunt about it when I was in New York. There are places for all kinds of mothers in the world, and not all of them are biological. You don't even have to be an "adoptive" mother to make a difference. You know I've heard that for troubled children even a 15 minute positive encounter can build esteem enough to help that child find hope and change direction. Maybe there's a place for me there in the world. I just don't know yet.

Tonight I did a brief liver qi cleanse as I missed my qigong class for the second week in a row. This time because I wasn't feeling well, last week was due to traffic and class just not being at the park where they were supposed to be.

Headache is just about gone today.

I went grocery shopping after work yesterday and did a little instinctive shopping, I see what I start craving as I start walking by the food. I offer my body things like apples, strawberries, kale, potatoes, fish, meat, broth and last night it told me to buy a pineapple, more grapes, beef broth some red meat and red cabbage (not spinach for certain). I bought other things for my partner off of our regular shopping list. When I got home I washed and ate a bunch of grapes and then cut up the pinapple which was very ripe. My headache started to dissipate after the pineapple, the bromelain it contains is a natural anti-inflammatory. Then I made beef noodle soup for myself and had it along with a cup of my dong quai/peony tea. My head felt a bit better after that as well.

When I woke up this morning I could still feel something, congestion or heat, but the killer frontal headache is gone for the most part.

I got a call back from the acupuncturist this morning. She had a cancellation so I'm going in to see her at 1pm and see if we might be able to work together. Wish me luck.

I've had headaches since last Saturday, I think it is due to the blood loss, low blood pressure and also some qi disturbances. I'm still bleeding but my body was craving the dong quai herb mix my acupuncturist gave me and so I had some this morning. I drank the entire cup which is unusual for me, I usually only have half a cup of anything. I'm still craving more, though it is a bit of a blood thinner so I'm trying to be conservative. I'm also coughing, I think it is related to being a bit blood deficient as this was a chronic sypmtom I had while I had anemia for years (it's been better since I supplement regularly but I lost a lot of blood last weekend). My hands and feet hurt at night and when I wake up in the morning.

I emailed to the Eastern Harmony clinic and asked for a referral to someone who had trained with Randine Lewis, author of The Infertility Cure, and they sent me to this clinic here in Seattle.

They are pretty close to my office and in the same building as the dentist I go to so that would be convenient. I like my acpuncturist but I don't feel like we have made enough ground in the almost 18 months that I've seen him. Granted that was peppered with my getting pregnant and have a miscarriage and then the surgery and all but I think that I've still got too many old patterns sitting tight. I've beenthe one to suggest different approaches to my issues and I think we've learned more from those times than from anything else (that's just my opinion though).

I still haven't passed the sac. I'm going to do some yoga and qigong later this afternoon to try to help my body move things along.

I think this is going to be easier this time around. My hormones have been dropping I believe for the past two weeks so it won't be such a dramatic dive as the d&c caused last time. I'm thankful for small blessings.

I'm still a bit crampy at work, but mostly it is like bad menstrual cramps. It isn't the kind of cramps that take your breath away. They still might come, usually it is when the cervix starts to dialiate that you feel those and some nausea (it would happen when I was passing clots from heavy menstrual bleeding as well).

I feel a little spacey and tired and I have a bit of a headache. In the center of my head. Maybe it is my hypothalmus or something getting adjusted.

Ovulation, eventually.

I took vitex for about 5-6 days and it really did help stop my breasts from hurting. But then when it gave me a headache I stopped taking it. It took me an additional 5-6 days until my body ovulated this cycle which was on May 1 or 2, so no ovulation in April.

After I ovulated I was exhausted for a few days. Really, really exhausted. Like after a full nights sleep wanting to lay down in my office at work and nap. I wasn't on herbs or meds or anything. The second day of that I did go home in the afternoon and fell right asleep. I woke and went to a community meeting and then went back to bed for another 10 hours.

When I saw my acu for my weekly visit I asked him what was up. He said that my kidney yang was depleted, that is the warming energy that heats things up during the luteal phase. He did some moxa and other heated needle work on me and told me to have more cinnamon. That seemed funny to me too but it worked. I had a lot more energy on Thursday. Friday, well that was another story.

Friday I was dealing with a deadline and some really nasty horrible moody feelings. Kind of miserable really -- I can't be the only one who feels this way during their luteal phase. Saturday I was still a bit on a downer note but then in the afternoon I decided to kick my own a$$ and make myself do things that would make me feel better. I decided to cook dinner for our extended family and give some gifts. You know, it worked. Then I spent a good amount of time on Sunday exercising, washing the car, working on home improvement projects, and baking. I've been much better this whole week thank goodness.

My basel temps were awful though, not only that but they were tanking when they should have been at their peak for a non-pregnant cycle. I started using my natural progesterone cream Sunday night (it was part of my original plan for this cycle but I somehow didn't get around to it), and my temps have been up all week into a reasonable range. I think that this cycle is a total nogo but what the heck do I know. I'm on 10 dpo so technically I'm still in the reasonable range for implantation.

I'm tired of all the energy that I've put into TTC right now though. And with all the grief and healing that I had to do (physical and emotional) my work really bore the brunt and now we are all feeling it. I had to change my priorities, so for now I'm feeling a lot quieter.

Headaches and moving too much qi

My acu had me on a herb mix that contained bluplurum a while back. It gave me a headache so he put me on a different formula that contained dong quai which was bitter but I didn't get a headache. So, I know that headaches and herbs are related.

From a TCM standpoint he told me that bluplurum moves the liver qi, and I have stagnant liver qi, but the problem was that it was moving more liver qi than I had available to move.
I started taking vitex last week, which move the kidney yang and penetrates the liver. I was doing great until yesterday when I got another headache -- same as before, in the front of my forehead. I guess the vitex is moving too much qi as well so I will have to stop and figure out what to do next.

I found this page about headaches and TCM, it might be helpful to you in understanding why one gets headaches - Arterial Hypertension And Traditional Chinese Medicine In China

~~

Is anyone actually reading my blog? If you are can you please just do a little post so I know you are out there?