Monday, December 20, 2004

Pregnancy and infant loss in the news

I just wanted to make note of an observation I had while watching the news today. Both the case of the murder-kidnapping of that fetus as well as a big arson case in Maryland have suspects who are dealing with pregnancy and infant loss. It sort of points out to me the great anger, grief and confusion that losing babies causes; and the lack of something to help people cope with their loss.

The suspect in the arson lost a baby at the beginning of the year and said something to authorities that the person who lit the fires likely had suffered a great loss. If it is true he did this and the two instances are related I can only imagine how hard the past year has been for him -- not excusing the actions though.

And the murder-kidnapping suspect, going from murder to parading the infant around the next day. The fact that her family didn't know it wasn't hers, that she had a pg loss and then was able to convince them that it must have been a mistake...while what she did was awful and macabre, it is just an extreme action paralling the extreme confusion and grief that pregnancy loss can do. It's almost like the very bad and black thoughts overtook her.

It seems we need to do more to help support people experiencing pregnancy and infant loss -- yeah there are crazy people out there, but if there was a better understanding of what people go through when they experience this kind of loss maybe there will be less anger, hurt and depression and more healing.

Perhaps I'm rambling, I just needed to get that out.

Working on fertility and fibroid prevention post myo

I had acupuncture treatment for most of the year up until my surgery and I expect to start treatment again in the new year. Through my weekly appointments I learned a lot about symptoms and sensations and was amazed as my acupuncturist was able to move things around -- such as getting rid of a sore throat in seconds, dissipating heat and pain in my abdomen within minutes, adding heat to my lower back that lasted for days when I was feeling cold and watery with some hormonal disturbance related to my miscarriage.

I needed a break from medical care for a little while, with having retained tissue from my miscarriage I was so out of whack and I was starting to feel like a perennial patient -- like it was more normal to be unhealthy than healthy so I needed some time to just be me. Anyway, I've been noticing little symptoms of hormonal imbalance over the past couple weeks so I know that my body isn't "normal" yet. My basel temp has been a little high, I have pain associated with my gall bladder channel, I have light night sweats, vaginal dryness, acne, low back pain and my body is telling me not to eat sugar right now. I feel so bad that my body is struggling still but I'll continue to take care of myself and in January after I return from vacation I'll go see my acupuncturist again.

I just bought The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis, a fertility expert who specializes in acupuncture and Chinese Medicine. It is so interesting to read, adding to my own experience with acupuncture treatment. Reading it I see more examples of symptoms of imbalance in my body, some of them part of the pattern of imbalance I have had over the course of my treatment (liver, kidney and spleen Qi stagnation and Yang Qi stagnation). While these things will interfere with conception when I'm ready to try to concieve again, they also are part of the pattern of imbalance that contributed to my fibroid formation. It only increases my resolve to make changes and adjustments to try to be as healthy as possible to try to counteract the pattern to try to prevent future fibroids from forming. I've already made changes since my fibroid was discovered, I'll just have to keep working equally as hard moving forward.