Monday, October 24, 2005

At seven weeks?

Yesterday I was at a board retreat for this non-profit I work with. I'd sorta been out of the loop for a few months, I was involved in a big fundraiser (I found out I was pregnant again the week of the event) and then had to deal with my miscarriage and subsequent grief and anemia. I needed space. I could tell some people were wondering what was up with me so when one person asked me how I'd been I just said, "I had another miscarriage, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and I just had bronchitis" -- nice way to throw them off-guard. That really got them off my back quickly. Some people said sorry, others just said "oh."

Later on during the day another gal, who just got married in August, announced that she was 7 weeks pg. It just stopped my heart for a second. I hate hearing about ppls pregnancies now. I had to force myself to take deep breaths.

Why'd she have to tell everyone at 7 weeks? They say don't tell until after the first tri. Personally, I don't even know when to tell and what to tell any more. I'm pg, I'm not pg, I've got a dead baby inside of me, I'm still pg but it's abnormal, I'm waiting for a d&c, I'm going through m/c labor, I'm recovering after hemorrhaging for hours in pain, etc. They don't really want to hear any of it.

I think I'm fighting a cold right now as well. Darn cold season anyway and my lame immune system.