Monday, June 20, 2005

I'm going in for an ultrasound in the morning. I don't believe I passed any tissue, the so-called Products of Conception, over the weekend. When I called the nurse she wanted me to come in sooner rather than later. From last time I know that you can have retained tissue for a while without any problem. From other women who have gone through miscarriage I know that there is a real risk of infection. They said they might want to do a procedure tomorrow. I so don't want that. There is always the possibility of using medications to try to bring on contractions again, but who knows how long that will take. It's hard to be discreet about these things when you are dealing with nature and nature takes its own good time.

I spoke to my mother today and told her about it. First I sent her an email after she sent me a nagging one about not calling for Father's Day. I just was blunt about it, no details or anything. We talked and she was okay about it. I don't know why she was this time and not last time. Maybe it is because I've already been there and she knows it. Maybe because she has already seen me wounded. I told her maybe third time's a charm. She said that is what happened for her. I wish we didn't have so much in common.

If I can get my miscarriage to be resolved I could try to go visit her this weekend. The next two weekends after that we are busy and then it is the middle of July. She's going to start her radiation therapy and she would like to see me while she still has energy. Though isn't it ironic that I won't have any. I can't win at this game.

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