Obsessing, Of Course

Who wouldn't obsess with a dip to the coverline (97.8) on my basal chart yesterday followed by a spike (98.6) this morning at 4am (I woke up early due to an uninspired dream that annoyed me). I'm on 8DPO now and I started using my prescription progesterone on Friday evening, after using natural progesterone cream at least once a week since Monday. My experiment on myself this cycle is to see if I can help influence for the better the development of a pregnancy by supplementing sooner since last time with supplementation in my luteal phase the pregnancy developed further along.

I did go down the street this morning to pick up an early pregnancy test* and knowing full well that last cycle when I got pregnant that the day of my temp spike that I tested negative but it was worth a shot. So I tested and it came back negative. Still, that means nothing yet. I'm hoping that my cycle charting program will give me a triphasic message in a couple days and that testing again in a couple of days will give me a positive pregnancy test.

I feel determined to get pregnant this cycle. Our fertility has certainly improved and I'm relatively healthy really. Also, since this is our first cycle trying since the last pregnancy I'm hoping to draft that cycle's hormonal adjustments which should likely have improved my hormonal balance some.

If this cycle doesn't work then I'm tempted to try a few months of progesterone shut-down of my ovaries to help counterbalance my estrogen levels. But I'm hoping it won't be necessary.

Send sticky thoughts.

* When I went to buy the pregnancy test I was one of the first people in the drugstore this morning. I had thought I would pick up a few things but we don't really need anything right now. I thought I might buy a pair of rubber gloves for cleaning but they didn't have any. Instead I decided to buy an electric fan on sale. So I went up to the register with a pregnancy test box and a fan. Trying to make the pregnancy test seem like something that I'm all nonchalant about. But I'm not, so very not as it's been such a journey and these tests represent so much hope and can give so much pain and pleasure. I think that probably there is a story behind every test that is sold and each one is attached to hopes and dreams for better or worse.

I tested on 13 dpo. I kept thinking about a buddy's late BFP, it was partly what kept me using the progesterone cream. I was thinking that it was possible that somewhere inside me was a little fertilized egg that was trying to find a place to implant and it was up to me to try to help improve the environment with the progesterone (I've tested low for progesterone twice).

While studies are inconclusive about progesterone preventing miscarriage, there is still a lot they haven't studied and some clinical evidence points to progesterone supplementation actually helping "rescue" the corpus lutuem. If your progesterone production is lame and implantation can happen late then there is a chance that supplementing progesterone can keep the endometrium in a state that the egg can implant whereas without it the environment is inhospitable.

You have no idea how surprised I am. I totally wasn't expecting that test to come up positive. I thought to myself that it was just going to be another blank test. Then I noticed a the test dye was activated and it just looked a little bit different. Then I walked away and came back and it looked like nothing but I picked it up and the dye was starting to lightly accumulate some on the test line as well as the control line.

It's been a long time since we started on this TTC adventure. I was just saying on the Ovusoft boards on Saturday about how this would be a bad time to get pg since work is so busy right now with proposals and deals closing. Same as last year though, I was just starting to give up hope and then this. We conceived last May 24th (my ovulation date) so this must be a fertile time for us.

Of course the bathroom is still a mess and the kitchen remodel isn't underway. I still haven't finished renovating the office but now I need to stay away from paints and solvents -- even though we use low toxicity/water-based they still contain compounds which act on the endocrine system.

All it took...

Vasectomy reversal in 1998
Poor morphology 2000
Charting and TTC started 2002
Fibroid dx 2002
Start working with a naturopathic doctor 2002
Consult with a bunch of REs and Ob/gyns 2003
Get partner off of Paxil 2004
Get partner on MFI vitamin mix 2004
Acupuncture for me 2004-2005
Blighted ovum July 2004
Fibroid surgery 2004
Chinese herbs to help rebuild my system after surgery 2005
Fertility monitor Feb 2005
Lots of wonderful online buddies to help keep me sane when things were sure as heck not feeling that way.

Thanks to all who donated babydust to this BFP. I'm spreading a little back out at the rest of you who are needing it.

I forgot to mention that I used vitex as you may recall, for 6 days of this cycle. I think that it actually might have helped to recalibrate me a bit. Then I started using natural progesterone cream (Emerita) starting 8dpo and the combination of the two might have made my wooba more hospitible. I also used cinnamon to help counteract my post O fatigue which did help. I haven't posted my updated chart yet, I'll do that for Thursday morning, after I have the result from my second beta draw. Oh, and I also did what another TTC buddy did -- I went out shopping for new clothes last week.

Ovulation, eventually.

I took vitex for about 5-6 days and it really did help stop my breasts from hurting. But then when it gave me a headache I stopped taking it. It took me an additional 5-6 days until my body ovulated this cycle which was on May 1 or 2, so no ovulation in April.

After I ovulated I was exhausted for a few days. Really, really exhausted. Like after a full nights sleep wanting to lay down in my office at work and nap. I wasn't on herbs or meds or anything. The second day of that I did go home in the afternoon and fell right asleep. I woke and went to a community meeting and then went back to bed for another 10 hours.

When I saw my acu for my weekly visit I asked him what was up. He said that my kidney yang was depleted, that is the warming energy that heats things up during the luteal phase. He did some moxa and other heated needle work on me and told me to have more cinnamon. That seemed funny to me too but it worked. I had a lot more energy on Thursday. Friday, well that was another story.

Friday I was dealing with a deadline and some really nasty horrible moody feelings. Kind of miserable really -- I can't be the only one who feels this way during their luteal phase. Saturday I was still a bit on a downer note but then in the afternoon I decided to kick my own a$$ and make myself do things that would make me feel better. I decided to cook dinner for our extended family and give some gifts. You know, it worked. Then I spent a good amount of time on Sunday exercising, washing the car, working on home improvement projects, and baking. I've been much better this whole week thank goodness.

My basel temps were awful though, not only that but they were tanking when they should have been at their peak for a non-pregnant cycle. I started using my natural progesterone cream Sunday night (it was part of my original plan for this cycle but I somehow didn't get around to it), and my temps have been up all week into a reasonable range. I think that this cycle is a total nogo but what the heck do I know. I'm on 10 dpo so technically I'm still in the reasonable range for implantation.

I'm tired of all the energy that I've put into TTC right now though. And with all the grief and healing that I had to do (physical and emotional) my work really bore the brunt and now we are all feeling it. I had to change my priorities, so for now I'm feeling a lot quieter.

Progesterone cream and pregnancy/miscarriage

I was on 50mg suppositories twice daily at the start of my pg last year and I stopped all at once when I found out it was a blighted ovum and I didn't even spot -- nothing changed, and my pregnancy sure as heck didn't end. Obviously that is a different situation but it did change my impression of how difficult it was to end a pregnancy.

I looked up a lot to see if there was anyway I could get my body to miscarry and other than practically poisoning myself or giving myself a life-threatening uterine infection there really wasn't much I could do. Really, think about it this way, with all the women wanting to terminate their pregnancies when they don't want them, surely if using and stopping progesterone was an easy way out then lots of people would be doing it and it would likely become a controlled substance. No?

Menstrual Irregularities

Here's a page which illustrates/explains different types of menstrual irregularities:

http://www.femalehealthmadesimple.com/FileTwelveFinal.html

"Any woman of childbearing age who has missed more than two consecutive periods -- but was not pregnant -- needs to investigate it and possibly have her period induced. Preventing the development of hyperplasia is the reason."
From: Endometrial Hyperplasia, WebMD

"Excessive estrogen stimulation can lead to significant increases in uterine lining thickness. The tissue becomes hyperplastic or atypically hyperplastic . It may become cancerous."

(and)

"Inadequate ovulation may cause excessive, irregular, or frequent menses recurring less than every 3 weeks. Inadequate ovulation leads to an excess of estrogen, which stimulates growth of the menstrual lining, and a decreased level of progesterone - which normally would be present in levels that would adequately thin the menstrual lining and prevent excess or irregular bleeding."
From: Dr Decker, Heavy Menstrual Cycles Management Options

"We like to see a lining of at least 8mm in thickness when measured by ultrasound at the time of maximal thickness during the cycle (see above ultrasound images of an 11.5 mm lining). There is some ongoing debate as to "how thin is too thin", as well as to "how thick is too thick". In general, 8-13 mm is good, less than 6 is potentially a problem, and greater than 15 or so could possibly reduce chances for a successful pregnancy."
From: Uterine problems causing infertility or miscarriage

I'm just back from the RE. He said it was too early to see a gestational sac and it is really early still. I told him that we were pleased just to see that our equipment works!!!

My fibroid was a bit smaller too no 9cm measurements this time. It was only 6x7cm.

They did a blood draw to check my progesterone and HCG. I'll have the latter in an hour or so. Progesterone will have to wait until tomorrow.

I told them that I wasn't sure if they would show me the door since we got a positive pg on our own and they said no, that's not how they work. The doc was pleased about the positive pregnancy test just by itself. I thanked him for making me feel like my fibroid wasn't a life sentence and that in that he helped alleviate my stress and that surely that influence helped out as well. He said he would happily take credit. I also asked him to please tell the UR in the same clinic (the one who did the reversal) that he had another success story.

My partner is so excited he's already telling me what to eat and not eat. Let's hope it is a keeper because we are so ready for this change in our life.

I just wanted to add that I too used every last positive posting about MFI successes to have hope even though doctors sometimes made it feel like there wasn't any reason for any. If there is anything I can do for any of you to help make you feel better supported please let me know.

Mifepristone (RU-486)

In my research into progesterone over the past few weeks I did come across a couple interesting links which talked about how RU486 worked from a hormonal standpoint. These articles talk about it in relationship to endometriosis and depression, not really in the context of it an an emergency contraceptive. It's pretty interesting.


RU-486 may dramatically relieve psychotic depression


RU-486 Explained

Natural Progesterone Info

This site has a lot of information about progesterone but the navigation is a little weird -- you have to use the left navigation bar, roll-over HORMONES, the over SEX HORMONES, then over PROGESTERONE and you can click on the links that show up there. The directions they give are in contradiction with other information I've seen where you should only use it post ovulation (whenever ovulation occurs).

http://thecompounder.com/hormonesprogesteronefaq.html

I have this article bookmarked from this site linked which you might find helpful, it is by Dr John Lee and it talks about why transdermal dosing of progesterone is preferable. Note that it says too much progesterone can "[result] in rather high levels of allopregnanolone and the woman becomes rather anesthetized by it, a state that is sometimes confused with depression" -- so that would be a side effect if too much is taken.

LETTER TO A COMPOUNDING PHARMACIST
Delivery of steroid hormones.

You can learn more about progesterone by reading What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Pre-Menopause(also by Dr Lee)