No word back from the doctor's office -- I'm going to talk to him on Monday about how disappointed I am to be neglected in this manner at this late stage. I called in 5 times over the past week and all I got back was one message with a couple of times on my home phone from a nurse or something. Totally unacceptable. My friend said last night that this was how my pg could be like a natural delivery -- you just never know when its going to happen.

I got through the work week, and finally got a bit more rest Wed and Thurs nights. No more going into the office for a while.

My big things this week are (mine you my partner is going to be helping with many of these things):

• Get windows repaired in baby's room (Sun)


• Get infant car seat installed in my car


• Baby shower tomorrow afternoon (I just know I'm going to cry)


• Color my hair (since it's going to be a while before I can do it again)


• Arrange for moving a sofa from my house to the office


• Work on finding a pediatrician


• Order some Prowrap diaper covers and Snappis (for the cloth diapers, due for delivery next week)


• Get furniture moved back into baby's room from guest room


• Move boxes of my books into my office out of the hall


• Order new mattress for guest room bed so my mother won't hate me when she comes to stay and help out (it's a really crappy mattress that I bought when I was 23 and had no money)


• Tidy up around the house (including washing the kitchen floor)

And when I'm not keeping busy with all that I've got knitting and work to keep me busy.

36 week Belly Shot

Yes, I'm still growing. Baby feels like he's definately starting to run out of room in there. I can't believe how much he has grown since December when he was all small and flipping around. Now all he has room to do is kick his legs a bit and rotate side to side. I do feel him more down by my bladder now as well.



I've not been sleeping well at over for the past 2.5 weeks. I wake up at 5am almost every day. Sometimes I have a hard time going to sleep, sometimes I just have a hard time sleeping for longer than 3 hours at a time. My last day in the office will be tomorrow, after that I'll work some from home but mostly rest and take care of my remaining to-dos, like trying to get a pediatrician, something I haven't had time to do.

We've been busy at work on the nursery and house today. Things are still a mess from the work that we've been doing, and I'm not going to be able to do much more, yet baby's going to be here possibly on Feb 8th, maybe sooner.

I've been shopping online at drugstore.com for various nursing and baby care items. Its easier on me to just have them delivered. I still haven't decided on an nursingwear, but I figure I'll just deal with that when I know how big my boobs are going to get and what not.

I'm also going through the baby clothes we have in the house and I'm going to be doing some laundry today to have the smallest outfits ready. I still can't believe we are going to have a baby. I've spent more time around puppies and kittens so I'm trying to prepare myself for that instead -- at least I can relate to it. My partner raised a rainbow lorikeet (a type of parrot) from a baby so he's thinking of leveraging some of that to get himself ready.

We're both getting more and more tired and grouchy. My hips hurt when I sleep at night so I have to roll back and forth all night long, and then get up a few times to go pee. It's not very restful. Oh, and the past couple of weeks its gotten harder to walk when I do get up in the middle of the night, my hips just feel all weird. What happened to my dancer-trained body? Will I ever get it back? It's so strange to feel these changes in my body.

I'm feeling better this morning. Overnight I was still uncomfortable but not contracting hardly at all.

I had a project launching for a client, a photoshoot, and some other deliverables due at work this week and I worked longer hours (just more like 8 hours a day instead of 6 that I've been trying to do). I also caught a cold from my partner that my body has been fighting. And then I think I just wasn't drinking enough water this week. I'm going to rest this weekend and drink a ton of water and hopefully that will get me sorted out.

I didn't like that experience at all. Baby seemed fine, though annoyed by the contractions.

At the end of the work day I started feeling really hot and this sensation like I'm gonna die (not really but occasionally I'lve just feel that way throughout the pg). I had just drank two pints of water, and I think I've been behind on my water intake overall. I started having contractions. Not just one but about 10 in an hour. Because I had gotten all hot and flushed feeling I knew that I was pushing myself too much. I had to wait a little while for my partner to finish up at work as he was in a team meeting but we came home and I drank more water and got in bed. I felt so lousy, sort of like period cramps and my body didn't easy settle down like it does. I did sleep for about an hour and a half easily then got up and ate dinner.

As I had a headache and still felt weird I decided to call the doc about it. The on-call doc called back and said probably it wasn't labor but I explained that I'm not supposed to go into labor. He was saying that typically they would deliver someone post myomectomy (fibroid surgery) at 37.5 weeks and do an amnio to check for lung maturity -- which is earlier than my doc and I have talked about and he hasn't even mentioned the amnio. At any rate, he said that I can see how I feel over night, and if I want just call back and I can go into triage at the hospital and they will take a look at me and the baby to see how we are doing. He said at where I am now (just finishing 35 weeks) they wouldn't try to stop labor if I started -- but then again, I'm not supposed to be in labor.

I got my partner to stay home tonight instead of going out. His friends are going to come over and hang out downstairs so I'm just going to knit in our attic (the other hangout spot in the house). I just didn't want to be left alone.

I'll let you know how I'm feeling -- either in the morning or overnight.

Here's what I do have:

* a bunch of baby undershirts and onesies;
* my first month's cloth diaper delivery scheduled and paid for,
* a basinette (in need of some sheets -- or else I'll just wrap the mattress in some flannel I bought)
* a bunch of handknit items.
* a car seat (Graco SnugRide) that's still not installed
* a fleece pouch
* a bunch of receiving blankets and a swaddler.

I'm counting on breastfeeding working out as I don't have any bottles or anything purchased on that end. I'll be in the hospital for 3-4 days after my c/s so I can use a hospital pump if I need to and we can arrange for whatever as we need to from there - right?

My partner is freaking about my mother coming for a few weeks around and after the delivery. Between my parents and his mother we'll have visitors for a month. I feel okay about having my mother there. I think she will be helpful, we don't always agree on things but she's not overbearing and she will make sure I eat and sleep. Having been through 2 m/cs and abdominal surgery with my partner, I can't say the same for him. I love him dearly but I want to make sure that I'm being looked after so I'm not totally stressed out in the early weeks.

I put a call into my OB's office earlier but he was out today so no word yet on when my c-section will be.

I'm up in the middle of the night. I was tossing and turning, my hips were aching and I was sweating. My body's been fighting a cold that my partner caught. He's had it worse than I thankfully, but like when I've caught other colds over the past 5 months, my joints in my legs just ache and ache.

I'm starting to get nervous about the baby coming. I don't know when my c/s will be but it's less than 3 weeks away. I worry that I don't have enough "stuff" that I will need when he comes and that I won't be easily be able to go get it. My mother's so excited about coming to help out, but my partner is freaking out that she will be here for a few weeks. I went through my abdominal surgery and the 2 m/cs with him though and I know that I'll get better care if my parents are around -- they will cook and make sure that I have everything I need. (remember how my partner had band practice even when I was in m/c labor at home ) He's a really awesome guy, but I recognize his limits. He's super excited about the baby coming and I know that they are going to have a great relationship -- but the early weeks are about ME (right?)

I've had two big BH contractions tonight, and one other when I got up before -- within a 2 hours period. Hopefully I just need to drink more water. They really don't want me to go into labor at all b/c my risk of uterine rupture is that much higher b/c of my fibroid surgery. It's weird to have gone through this whole pg with everything going pretty easy and then now in the final weeks to find myself in the high-risk group. It wasn't really a concern before now though, I just have to avoid labor.

I had my OB appt this morning. Finally the doc is starting to pay more attention to my risk of uterine rupture (due to prior uterine surgery to remove a large fibroid) so while I have the c/s scheduled for 2/15 they might move it up a week -- maybe more. He's going to consult with some other practioners to get their input and I directed him to speak with my RE who did the surgery who is located in the same building as he.

For some reason the prospect of the baby coming sooner is just making me feel stressed. My partner said its time for the kid to get out of there and for me to get my body back -- he says he doesn't like seeing me not be able to move around as easily.

I'm trying to take deep breaths, a little qi gong even, to try to calm me down.

Nursing/Breastfeeding Links

I'm still researching this topic but breastfeeding supplies and clothing are definately things I need to figure out before I need them -- at least some basics. Plus some of my online friends have been bugging me to share anything that I've come across about nursingwear -- so in order to appease my adoring public, here's what I know ;)

From reading discussions online it seems like:

• nursing pads are helpful, to protect you from advertising when you are leaking in public


• that breasts get larger when your milk comes in


• that bebe-au-lait style nursing covers aren't that well appreciated by baby after a while (they want to see what's going on)


• that you have to factor in for staining on any garments you wear with baby around


• underwires can contribute to conditions that invite mastitis


• that renting a hospital-grade breast pump can be worth it


• that pacifiers and bottles can cause some nipple confusion in the newborn and are best left until after breastfeeding is well established (if used at all)


• that breastfeeding after a c-section might be a slightly more challenging due to the interference of the meds but it might just require some alternate positioning


• that breastfeeding hurts many women in the early weeks but if you soldier on it will get easier (just watch out for proper latching to help prevent some of the pain cause)

You know me though, I've been bookmarking sites for the years it's taken me to get pregnant so of course I have a stash of breastfeeding links as well.

General Breastfeeding Links

How Does Milk Production Work -- learn about lactogenesis

KellyMom.com - well regarded breastfeeding information site

La Leche League Breastfeeding Links

Breastfeeding After a Cesarean

Frequently asked questions about Pregnancy and Nursing -- an page from a site that's all about cutting back on your sugar/refined carbs. It has some interesting points and ideas about balancing your blood sugar and beta-endrophin hormone level (I worry that I'm going to crash big time after delivery since I've been so much less moody during my pregnancy -- this page says that while I'm nursing this can continue though)

Nursing Wear

Motherwear

Nursing Bras Sizing Tips

Glamourmom -- breastfeeding tank tops

Milkface Nursingwear

One Hot Mama - Nursing & Maternity

Mother's Milk Boutique

Bella Materna -- nursing wear and maternity

Mommy Gear - Breastfeeding apparel and supplies

Bebe-au-Lait

Expressiva Nursingwear

Bravado! Designs -- nursingwear

Milkdudz -- Nursingwear

EvaLillian - maternity and nursing clothing

Miscellaneous Breastfeeding and Related Links

United States Breastfeeding Committee (USBC) - working collaboratively to protect, promote and support breastfeeding

An Investigation of the Factors Influencing Breastfeeding Patterns (PDF)- a dissertation by Alison Jacknowitz

Treatment of bovine mastitis with medicinal herbs and acupuncture -- when I search about mastitis (or even many fertility topics in general about ovulation induction, hormone levels, etc.) I often come across links related to animal husbandry -- there's an economic incentive for the research in this area (as opposed to for humans). I was looking for one about acu and mastitis and this was the best link I came across.

Normal Breasts Gallery -- a fascinating page of shots of the different shapes and sizes of women's breasts, including latating mothers and post-breastfeeding as well

And for pure entertainment value we bring you the Boob Stand video clip

Preparing the house for baby

Our whole house is in a state of upheaval. It started out with some books and clothes that needing to be donated to charity and haven't yet made it out of the house. Then it expanded to painting the baby's room which involved packing up my art studio into boxes lining the upstairs hallway. Then we ordered a new sofa with a sofa bed and my partner indulged in a new flatscreen TV so that he would want to hang out downstairs with the baby more when he arrives. That involves relocating a bunch of furniture around the house so right now the entire living room, which is two rooms together, is a wreck. I've got some of our baby things in the diningroom since the guest room is going to hold some more of the furnishings of the baby's room while we get the floor refinished this week. I also have to take down the Christmas tree but everything in the livingroom is in the way.

My partner decided that he needed to finish the trim in my office and then he will get started on building a new bookcase in there and we'll also relocate a cabinet from the livingroom. Everything is up in the air at the moment. I hope that by the end next weekend some of the insanity will be over and we'll have a lot more in order around the house.

33 Week OB Visit

I had an OB appointment this morning. Things are still looking good. I gained 4 pounds since my last visit but his assistant said a growth spurt was expected around now. That brings me up to about 30 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight but I feel like I'm doing okay.

They were pleased as always to hear that the baby was quite active. He's a very wiggly little guy and while it hurts more when he kicks and moves and stretches, its also comforting as he seems really healthy to me and my partner. His heartrate was at 155 for those of you who like stats.

I asked about who I call and what I do if I should go into labor and they said just call the office and let them know I had a myomectomy and I need to have a c-section. The office will call the hospital to let them know I'm on my way. Okay then, that's a plan. We talked more about the delivery date and after some discussion it was clear that he would like it to be a little earlier than February 15th, which is his due date of record based on that silly pregnancy wheel. As per Ovusoft and my own personal experience of a painful ovulation the cycle we conceived, my due date should be the 17th. Still the goal is to avoid labor and to have a safe surgical delivery, and my doctor is so not imposing so we are talking about doing it earlier that week, perhaps on the 12th.

Separately my partner as we were leaving the office expressed concern about my mother coming for the delivery and staying for a couple of weeks. I remember how after my myo how I had to cook for myself most of the time, and this time there will be an new infant to take care of as well. I'm feeling okay about having my mother around, he just wants to make sure he has time to bond with the baby on his own without my mother interfering. I told him I would speak with my mother and let her know that part of the plan with her staying is that she needs to allow us to have space as well. She's always on her computer and she knows people in the area so I don't think it's going to be too hard.

Driving to the office I started feeling a little weepy, I didn't but I just felt a little touched by things. Surgery, healing, the baby, my partner, my mother -- it feels a little overwelming. Plus the house is in a state of disarray as we reorganize to make way for our new roommate.

I often think of our neighbor's golden retriever who was a lovely dog. She whelped a little of puppies when she was young and took off after a few days after the birth and went missing for 4 days. They were frantic. Ultimately we found her but she had obviously just been overwelmed by things. Or my childhood cat who had her kittens in my doll carriage on top of some old baby blankets; I would put her in there but she never liked to stay. It was the perfect place to have her litter though.

I best get back to work.

Belly at 33 weeks

Finally I got my partner to take a photo of my belly again; it's been a few weeks. I'm feeling very full of baby now, I think he had a growth spurt, and when I look in the mirror I'm amazed at the size of my bump.

Did I tell you all that I'm scheduling the c/s for 2/15? We've decided. So unless baby decides to make an early entrance we have a finish line.

I put my name in for the diaper service and we're working on the nursery, trying to finish up the painting. I have an order of things coming from babycenter that should arrive tomorrow, my mother helped me pick out more layette items and sheets while she was here.

I don't have any breast feeding supplies of any kind yet, nor for diapering either. We also have to decide on the baby's crib and get that ordered. More shopping to do still yet.

Still Researching Infant Seats and Strollers

I bought the baby bargains book the other day and I've been comparing it to other reviews for strollers and the like online. Here are a few more places to look:

http://www.babycenter.com/
http://www.strollerqueen.com/
http://www.babychic101.com/
http://www.epinions.com/


We did decide to start with the infant seat, that appears to be the consensus, both online and off. I also just placed my order for a Kangaroo Korner fleece pouch so we can babywear and not just be lugging around an infant carrier.

Our friends got the Peg Perego with the infant seat. I'm still not sure, we need to go check them out in person I think. Weight is going to be a factor for whatever we get, I don't want to be lugging some heavy carrier or stroller if I can help it.

See my prior post about researching infant car seats

Edited to add the new Consumer Reports article about infant car seat safety. We decided to purchase the Graco SnugRide with EPS (whereas before we were leaning towards the Graco SafeSeat, a newer model) and it just arrived yesterday (1/12)

31 Week OB Appt

It's only been about a week and a half since the last appointment but with the holidays and my partner going out of town later this week this was the appointment we were able to get.

Blood pressure was low-normal -- which is normal for me
Baby's heart rate was 146
Fundal height was 32 -- it's slowed down since the fibroid has stabilized so says my OB. I was measuring ahead by 2-3 weeks there for a while.
Weight -- the same as last time, 163. The doc said it wasn't a big deal since we knew that the baby was growing appropriately from the ultrasound.

He asked if the baby moved a lot and we said yes. He asked how I was doing and I told him not so great right now. My stomach has been upset since last night, I don't think I caught anything, just the foods I was eating weren't sitting right with me. I think it was the veggie chili and the oatmeal actually, on top of the pizza Sunday night. Pizza hasn't been agreeing with me at all, even before I got pregnant, but followed by all that soluble fiber and my compressed digestive tract and my body was all in fits about it. I stayed home today to help let it sort itself out.

He asked if I had any questions and I asked him about anesthesia agents used during cesarean delivery. I found an article that says that fentenal (sp?) can interfere with breastfeeding in epidurals. I looked up whether it was used for c-sections and found that it wasn't as commonly used. The doc said they haven't seen any issues with it in their patients but that it isn't used for a spinal block which is what I will have. He also said that fentenal can make you feel really itchy.

Researching Infant Car Seats

There are a million models of car seats out there and I had rather skimmed than researched so I finally roped my partner into helping me pick out a car seat for our baby due in February.

There are several different models, some more appropriate than others for newborns/infants. The different types are:

Rear-facing
Forward-facing
Convertible

Experts suggest using a rear-facing seat for as long as possible, and it seems that some States require their use for babies under certain size limits. Convertible seats will switch from rear-facing to forward facing so that can extend their use.

Some convertible car seat models claim to work from 5lbs on up, with the straps adjusting to different positions but in discussions I have seen online it seems these don't fit small babies as well.

The other option, which is very popular and I'm sure you have seen them, are infant car seats. These models usually feature a base piece into which locks the infant carrier. The carrier can be removed and taken with you to help limit disrupting your sleeping baby. The problem with infant car seats is that babies can grow out of them quickly, either height-wise or weight-wise, and then you have to get them into a convertible seat anyway.

Recent studies have shown that keeping your baby in the infant car seat for longer than the trip length itself could result in the infant being shifted into a position that could compromise their air flow. So, in spite of it being a popular thing to do, porting your baby around in the car seat actually could be injurious.

From our early research it looks like you can get infant car seats for $130 or less. The convertible car seats seem to be running in the range of $300 or so, at least of the models we were looking at based on online reviews from several web sites.

It seems as though you should get a couple years use out of a car seat before having to graduate to a child's booster car seat -- which are required if your child weighs less than 49 pounds.

Here are some links:

CarSeatSite.com -- Which Seat is Best for My Child?

BabyUniverse: Car Seat Buying Guide

Epinions.com - Car Seat Reviews

Improper car seat use can be deadly - 12/13/06

Baby at almost 30 weeks

I had my u/s friday morning and everything looks really good. They estimate he weighs 3lbs. 11oz. already. The u/s tech kept commenting on what a good baby he was, letting her get all her images and angles. He gave a few good kicks while she had the wand on my belly and she commented on how strong he was. They probably say that to everyone but who doesn't want to hear it about their own baby.

Here he is in profile and isn't his nose that much bigger than at 18 weeks:




We ate lunch and then I had my OB appt. I'm up 2lbs from my last visit to 163. He said everything looked good. I made sure he knew exactly where the fibroid had moved to since I made the u/s tech show me. It's out of my pelvis now so it shouldn't interfere with delivery at all. My partner and I asked him a bunch of questions about the delivery -- from when to schedule it (anytime after Feb 8th), to if we could lower the drape during the delivery part (yes), to could my sister (a doula) could attend, to how long I would stay in the hospital (3-4 days), to whether my partner could stay with me (yes, all private rooms with cots), and how soon after I could hang with (as soon as they checked him out in the room) or feed the baby (in recovery).

I stopped by my RE's office after my appt and saw a couple of the support staff who have worked with me before through both of my m/cs and beyond. They both asked me "did we do that?" when they saw my belly but I assured them that we did it ourselves. The scheduler, Debbie, was excited for us and I told her about how I did acupuncture treatment focused on treating my fibroid and stopped trying for a few months last Spring and that when we tried again we got this sticky baby boy. She was going to tell my RE, the one who did my fibroid surgery -- she said they like to know what happens with their different patients. Ultimately they did contribute to the success since they helped me through my two m/cs and the fibroid surgery. I promised to bring him in in the Spring so they could meet him.

Fighting a cold

My partner's been fighting something for days and now I think I'm getting it as well. It seems like just a cold right now, a little sneezing and fatigue. I was so tired that I wanted to lay down at work around 3pm but I pushed on until 5:30 pm and then headed out. I came home and crashed out asleep in bed for two hours -- yes I was hungry but I was more tired than hungry so I opted to sleep first.

When I woke up I felt so crappy but I needed to eat something. My partner's out of town so I was on my own and feeling completely unmotivated to cook. I opted to open a can of sardines and have that with a carrot and some crackers. Nice. Actually sardines have calcium and iron so they are a good thing to eat, and being smaller fish they have less build up of heavy metals such as mercury compared with tuna. For dessert, since I was still hungry I warmed up some peaches that I froze in September in slices -- good for folic acid. Not the most gourmet of meals but well rounded at least.

Time for me to get back in bed now though.

Belly at the Beach

Here's my latest belly shot taken in Venice, CA over Thanksgiving at 28w2d.

Preparing for Baby Lists

Sorry I've been neglecting you. Between travel to LA for Thanksgiving to trying to keep up with work and the demands of my body (naps, eating, rest) I haven't had too much time for blogging. I have been thinking of you though and of ideas for new posts. This is one that I thought would be helpful for many folks planning for their first babies. I've found lots of lists for what you need to prepare for baby and I figured that if I compiled them and compared to how I want to care for my baby I should have a decent shopping list -- or at least an idea of what I'm up against as I've hardly done any shopping so far.

Baby and Mom Gear from BabyCenter.com -- a page with links to multiple lists

Shopping for the First Few Weeks -- this is more household shopping

Layette Needs

New baby basics from Consumer Reports

Baby Shopping List from womenshealth.gov

The Ultimate Baby Layette Checklist

Baby Layette List

Layette Necessities

Layette

Nursery Checklist

Diaper Changing Essentials

Breast and Bottle Feeding Needs