Sunday, August 14, 2005

Obsessing, Of Course

Who wouldn't obsess with a dip to the coverline (97.8) on my basal chart yesterday followed by a spike (98.6) this morning at 4am (I woke up early due to an uninspired dream that annoyed me). I'm on 8DPO now and I started using my prescription progesterone on Friday evening, after using natural progesterone cream at least once a week since Monday. My experiment on myself this cycle is to see if I can help influence for the better the development of a pregnancy by supplementing sooner since last time with supplementation in my luteal phase the pregnancy developed further along.

I did go down the street this morning to pick up an early pregnancy test* and knowing full well that last cycle when I got pregnant that the day of my temp spike that I tested negative but it was worth a shot. So I tested and it came back negative. Still, that means nothing yet. I'm hoping that my cycle charting program will give me a triphasic message in a couple days and that testing again in a couple of days will give me a positive pregnancy test.

I feel determined to get pregnant this cycle. Our fertility has certainly improved and I'm relatively healthy really. Also, since this is our first cycle trying since the last pregnancy I'm hoping to draft that cycle's hormonal adjustments which should likely have improved my hormonal balance some.

If this cycle doesn't work then I'm tempted to try a few months of progesterone shut-down of my ovaries to help counterbalance my estrogen levels. But I'm hoping it won't be necessary.

Send sticky thoughts.

* When I went to buy the pregnancy test I was one of the first people in the drugstore this morning. I had thought I would pick up a few things but we don't really need anything right now. I thought I might buy a pair of rubber gloves for cleaning but they didn't have any. Instead I decided to buy an electric fan on sale. So I went up to the register with a pregnancy test box and a fan. Trying to make the pregnancy test seem like something that I'm all nonchalant about. But I'm not, so very not as it's been such a journey and these tests represent so much hope and can give so much pain and pleasure. I think that probably there is a story behind every test that is sold and each one is attached to hopes and dreams for better or worse.

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