What should I do?

So I still have retained POC (products of conception) from my miscarriage in July. It is likely that my fibroid has contributed to this situation by not allowing my uterus to contract as well as it might (8x10cm intramural fibroid, uterus wrapped around fibroid). My RE wants to go in with a hysteroscope to aid in the removal of the 2x3cm piece of tissue in my endometrium -- the fibroid doesn't allow for a very clear image of what is there.

She mentioned that while I'm under she could remove my fibroid as well. It isn't the largest fibroid that she's operated on, but it isn't small either. She thinks that if I have the surgery done now I should be all right to travel to Ecuador for Christmas -- about 6 weeks post-op -- to go on a birding tour.

My fibroid hasn't shrunk at all since August, though it is smaller than the largest measurement right before my d&c of 9x11x11cm or so. On the day I got my BFP it measured 6.5x7 -- so it is now twice as large and I'm feeling it everyday.

Tthis RE does surgery twice a week only and I like her, she's been practicing since 1983 and does on average one myo a month -- but she's regularly doing reproductive surgeries. I'm feeling pretty good about her and she said that she would consider my desire for a vaginal birth as she did the surgery.

If you were going to be put under right now for another procedure would you opt to have your large fibroid removed as well?

I had the option of scheduling the d&c with the other doc this week but I've never seen her and I really like my RE. He's out of town this week. With a "missed abortion" it can take until weeks 10-16 for the body to recognize that the pg isn't happening I understand. For some women that won't happen at all and their bodies just keep increasing the production of HCG.

No, I don't have any signs that anything is subsiding, it is a little tiring and the worst is that being around other pg people I think to myself "I'm pg too, but not with a baby" -- it is a little isolating.

In the meantime, I'm going to try to hire some painters to patch and paint our hallway/stairwell, dining room and living room. Our house is from 1906 and the walls need some repair. I would do it but my neck always goes into spasm if I do too much since I've had whiplash twice. I better start calling around today to start getting quotes. Hopefully I'll get pg again soon but I wouldn't want to be around the paint fumes in early pg so I better use this TTC break wisely.

I asked my partner yesterday and he said that he did want to start trying again as soon as we're able to. My goal is to be pg by the time I have my next dental appointment right before Christmas since they know and I would hate to have to tell them that it didn't work out.

The second u/s yesterday showed again just a big empty sac, that keeps growing. Actually the sac size matches almost to the day the length of my pregnancy. My RE is due to call me at work today to discuss my options. It is frustrating to be pregnant but not -- you want to be either not trying and not pg, pregnant with a healthy baby or trying. This is purgatory.

The prospect of a d&c (dust & clean I saw someone refer to it as) kinda freaks me out