90 degrees in the shade

Not typical Seattle weather, but we do get a few days here and there above 90. About the same number as we get below freezing -- if global warming and all that don't change things (who knows).

I've found that ice cream is my friend when I get over heated. At least something should help out. I'm not too keen on chocolate right now but I'm not too particular. I just had a Julie's Organic Ice Cream pop, blackberry with a chocolate shell. I also baked chocolate ginger scones this morning - so it's not like I'm abstaining from chocolate.

My Irish friend is visiting from Spain where he lives now; he's spent most of the day with us and thankfully he knows the meaning of siesta -- because this pregnant gal needs her naps. We had a really nice lunch on our front porch with a greek style salad, pita bread wedges and hummous. My friend leaves tonight, as he's off to a wedding in the morning and needs to take an early ferry so he's going to crash with one of the other wedding guest nearby. We might see him again tomorrow before he leaves.

With this heat my little belly is starting to feel a little more uncomfortable and I'm longing for loose-fitting sundresses. The reality is that I've got a few, and I'm sitting in one right now that I've had for years, but really shopping would be wise if this heat holds up. But, that isn't likely. Though, there will be more opportunities for wearing sundresses.

My parents are planning on coming for a few days in August for a visit. Which will be nice, but right now I feel like I'm just waiting for my appointment on Tuesday to tell me that everything is going okay. I don't know when this feeling that I'm going to get bad news will subside but hopefully soon.

No, I'm not worrying constantly about it. My partner and I talk about having a kid next year and we continue to make motions planning towards that eventuality. It's just that it doesn't feel real to me, like my heart isn't totally sure of it yet. Still, today marks 10 weeks and by the best of my figgerin' this is the longest I've ever been pregnant, even past the first one where I ovulated on May 24 and had a d&c on July 19 that time. This time I ovulated 3 days later and now it's three days later than the 19th. So, let's mark down another little step towards success.

Thanks for your comments. I know, I wish hiring people was easier but I think I'll know the right candidates when I meet them. And there are plenty of options we haven't explored yet.

More Thoughts About Fibrocystic Breasts

So the common things they say to do if you are having PMS and fibrocystic breasts are:

Increase calcium consumption

Decrease caffeine consumption

Make sure there isn't a thyroid problem

Cut back on refined sugars

Increase dietary fiber

Increase B-vitamin consumption

Increase magnesium consumption

Drink more water

Use natural progesterone cream

Increase vitamin E consumption



-----

So I used to eat a fair amount of dairy and I had bad PMS but cutting back to almost none hasn't made any difference so dairy doesn't seem to do anything for me favorable. Less dairy does seem to help with my allergies and digestion so I'm going to stick with that plan.

I've always been a very moderate consumer of caffeine, I didn't drink coffee or cola. I do eat chocolate and have some black or green tea but in moderation. So, that didn't seem to make any difference at all -- in fact I recently started drinking a little more coffee than usual (a few time a week instead of once a month) and it's made no difference.

I've had my thyroid checked several times including a full thyroid panel last summer as it comes up as related to many of my conditions (fibroids, elevated estrogen, PMS) -- each time the test results were so normal it was boring. My mother has thyroid trouble so I thought for sure this might be related for me but evidently not.

Due to my naturopathic and TCM treatment I was told to cut back on refined sugars. It's helped me to feel better but I was never a total nut about eating candy or anything. I've made a concious effort to be careful about my intake of simple carbs. Still I've got sore breast in my luteal phase.

Increase of dietary fiber does seem to help me feel better generally but it hasn't seemed to help with the breast issue at all. Since this helps your body to eliminate excess estrogen I'm sticking with this for general health.

I eat a largely vegetarian diet (though I am an omnivore) and the foods I eat contain a lot of vitamin B and magnesium. Stress depletes b-levels and my work can be stressful and sometimes I don't get enough foods rich in vitamins B or magnesium but I really do try. I was never on birth control pills which can rob the body of B vitamins and magnesium so that's not an issue with me. I have been trying to be better about taking my vitamins but the best I usually do is 4 times a week -- better than nothing in my book.

I am bad about drinking enough water every day -- mostly when I'm at work. I'm much better than I used to be I think.

Natural progesterone cream didn't really seem to do much to help, maybe a little, but it mostly makes my breasts seem to swell more, not necessarily become more lumpy or sore.

And then there's the Vitamin E thing. It's in my prenatal and that on it's own doesn't seem to do anything.

But then there's that DIM/Vitamin E thing. It really did seem to help over the past three days. Today I'm spotting so AF is just around the corner but previously I used to not have my breast stop hurting until I had full-blown AF. It seems so curious to me. And some of the links I've found mention that vitamin E can increase estrogen levels, and also that DIM might do the same -- it just doesn't seem to be doing that to me -- it seems to be helping something hormonally.

DIM Plus for PMS? (and more about estrogen excretion)

On one of the discussion groups about healing fibroids naturally I learned about this dietary supplement called DIM Plus which was supposed to help your body rid itself of excess estrogen. Evidently some of the cancer circles were talking about it. I bought some a while back and tried it for a week or so, no side effects that I could see but since I was doing chinese herbs and trying to get pregnant and you aren't meant to take it if you are pregnant I didn't continue using it.

Well, with my breasts sore as ever for the second luteal phase in a row, I decided finally yesterday to take one capsule to see if it would help. Forget just about the fertility stuff for a minute and know that for me, feeling bad PMS symptoms mean that my body is still lined up for more fibroids -- something I really don't want. The recommended dose is 2 capsules but I took just the one, and then coincidence or not my breast pain receded. They are still sensitive and full and fibrocystic but not just aching me outright now. Was it possibly the DIM Plus?

Here's the link to the product page on the manufacturer's site:

DIM Plus by Nature's Way

Estrogen Metabolism and the Diet-Cancer Connection: Rationale for Assessing the Ratio of Urinary Hydroxylated Estrogen Metabolites (PDF)

Hormone Balance - Hormonal Health (about DIM)

Physiological Functions of Phytonutrients (PDF - info about DIM starts on p.9)

Foods for Cancer Prevention

Estrogen Dominance Syndrome

Nutritional Factors in Menstrual Pain and Premenstrual Syndrome

Liver Detoxification Pathways

Estrogen's Two-Way Street

Premenstrual Syndrome Types -- I mighta have posted this link elsewhere in this blog, but it might be helpful to you in this context so here it is.


It makes me think, why is it that many doctors don't consider things a problem until they might kill you? Why do I have to live with hormonal imbalance and cyclic breast pain for years. Pooh on them. And honestly I've tried the no caffeine, no dairy, no meat, no alcohol approaches and they didn't help me. No chocolate, well that's not really an option and my acu told me that with Spleen Qi deficiency it was a common craving. Like pica (craving and eating clay and ice and stuff) I guess but better.

Vitex to the rescue

I was reading someone's post about B6 for PMS and decided to look up food sources of B6 and came up with this abbreviated list: "Vitamin B6 is found in beans, nuts, legumes, eggs, meats, fish, brewer's yeast, bananas, green leafy vegetables, wheat germ, wheat bran, milk, whole grains, and fortified breads and cereals."

I eat a good amount of B6 rich foods but I was still having similar problems -- lame LP, PMS, etc. I had my CD# bloodwork done again last week and my estradiol was high -- darn estrogen dominance anyway -- though it is totally part of the pattern that leads to fibroids. So I started looking up stuff about estrogen, and prolactin since having sore breasts for the past 3 weeks hasn't been any fun.

And then I did a search again and came across, of all things -- vitex and this:
quote:

Chaste berry (also spelled chasteberry) contains several different constituents, including flavonoids, iridoid glycosides, and terpenoids. Chaste berry (the fruit of a small Eurasian tree, also called Vitex agnus) does not contain hormones. The benefits of chaste berry stem from its actions upon the pituitary gland. Chaste berry keeps prolactin secretion in check. The ability to decrease mildly elevated prolactin levels may benefit some women with breast tenderness associated with PMS. Chaste berry may also be helpful in menopause and cyclic mastalgia. New research indicates that certain compounds in chasteberry may have activity similar to the brain chemical dopamine.
http://www.raysahelian.com/chasteberry.html

So I conferred with my acupuncturist and he said I could try it if I wanted to. I started yesterday morning and I was in a better mood than I had been in weeks and by evening my breast pain had dissipated. It had to be the vitex as drinking water, taking vitamins, exercise, low stress all had no affect. And it wasn't optimism either as there was the great news about my partner's sperm morphology (increase from 2% to 5% with supplements) and that didn't affect my mood for the better -- I still felt like growling at everyone in sight.

I looked up more about vitex and liver qi stagnation since that is my chronic diagnosis. I found a few things that mentioned it:

"Vitex (V. Agnus-castus) -- acrid, spicy, warm; goes to the Liver and Spleen. It contains essential oil, fatty oil, flavonoid casticin, iridoglyside and aucubin. It is used for menstrual irregularities and irregular symptoms associated with menopause. It stimulates progesterone production and regulates the menses. It effectively treats ovarian cysts and non-cancerous breast lumps. Dose: 3-9 gms"
http://www.planetherbs.com/articles/fivestag.html

"TCM Usage:regulates the Blood, nourishes the Kidney, moves Qi in the lower Jiao.
Contra Indications: Vitex is a bit hot, so use with this in mind (not for use in ovarian cysts?)."
http://www.rchm.co.uk/articles/western_herbs.html

In The Infertility Cure, Randine Lewis says that vitex is a kidney yang tonic, but since what happens in the kidneys affects the liver in chinese medicine it might make sense that it would help me out. Also my feet get really cold at night which is supposedly a sign of a kidney yang deficiency.

I'm just amazed! I know it doesn't work for everyone, evidently it isn't good to take if you have cysts, and even I haven't been psyched about how it worked when I took it previously but talk about a perfect fit for me right now.

Other than that, my acupuncturist told me that he still thinks I'm a bit blood deficient and that's why I'm craving chocolate, that and overthinking. Oh well.

Updated to add: it delayed my ovulation by as many days as I took it though I did end up getting pregnant again this same cycle. The delayed ovulation might have contributed to my subsequent miscarriage though that is entirely conjecture on the part of the NP at my RE's office.

Updated to add 4/6/06 -- it did help me with PMS and mastalgia during my LP

I've been running/walking a mile each day with my dog for the past couple of weeks. I've been really good about keeping it up. I did fall off the wagon and I had hot cocoa and cheese over the weekend which made me feel awful. I'm not lactose intolerant, its just that my body doesn't like taking milk -- it causes more stagnation in my system. I'm trying to be good again and not slide off into my bad dietary habits. Want to know what they are? Well either way, I'm going to tell you -- they fall among the following:



not drinking enough fluids throughout the day

not eating breakfast

not eating breakfast and not eating lunch until after 2:30pm

eating chocolate when I have skipped breakfast and eaten lunch late

eating simple carbs and not enough protein or veggies

not going to the bathroom right away and holding it in (i have an aversion for public bathrooms, it is a problem)



My weekend... My partner's other brother is in town, visiting from France with his girlfriend. We spent a lot of time with them, they leave tomorrow afternoon. We were over at my SIL's house on Sunday and I boldly chose to stay behind with her when everyone else went to lunch, I figured that since she is staying home with the two little ones all the time this might help give her a break and make it so she wasn't feeling left behind. We chatted and eventually the conversation turned to my miscarriage. It was a very difficult and emotional conversation for us both and we both cried. She didn't understand why I couldn't talk to her for 6 months since my partner said I was fine (which wasn't true) -- she was a week behind me in getting her BFP so it was very difficult for me to see her. It was hard for me to have to open it up and explain it to her, but it had to be done as it was unresolved between us. I didn't tell her the nasty things, the really awful feelings I had along the way -- such as hating her, wishing her baby would die too, thinking she was selfish for only trying to reach out to me once. It is normal, I'm not the only one who has felt that way but I can't tell her that stuff. I told her instead that you worry enough when you are pregnant and that I didn't want her to see the dark side of pregnancy -- which is partially true as well.

She told me she was glad that I was accepting of my niece and that ultimately the pregnancy meant nothing -- we both agreed that, but I told her I just didn't need the constant reminders of the baby I wasn't having, the pregnancy that had failed.

My Miscarriage Prescription

Here is my recipe for getting through the pain of a miscarriage, which works for any miscarriage physical pain:

Red Wine -- this helps to take the edge off the pain in a way that nothing else did. My acupuncturist told me afterwards that red wine "moves the blood" in chinese medicine which is why it works. It didn't cause any increase of bleeding just in case it sounds that way.

Marijuana -- the body produces natural painkillers called anandamides akin to THC in marajuana (which is humans are affected by THC at all). There are a large proportion of anandamide receptors in the uterus which is probably why marajuana is helpful for painful menses. Anandamines both dull the pain sensation and dulls the memory -- both useful affects to help women get through childbirth. You can just watch how your body's natural painkillers work or try supplementing with marajuana (which I do not use and didn't try in this situation so I'm not sure quite how it would work).

Dark Chocolate -- it turns out that chocolate helps keep anandamine in the body longer so why not have some chocolate. I can't say it is easy to distinguish whether or not this is working but it sure didn't hurt and it was a great distraction and an excuse to eat chocolate.

Herbal Tea -- lemonbalm and chamomile are nerve tonics and mild sedatives and are pleasant tasting. Passionflower tea is a little stronger but it helps soothe anxiety, it acts as a mild sedative and it reduces tension in the body. I found that passionflower tea helped to calm the pain and cramping for a couple of hours during the most intense part.

Hot Water Bottle -- use this pressed up against your belly or back and just rest against it. Also you might get cold so wrap yourself in a blanket if need be.

Tylenol -- helpful with the intense pain of my second miscarriage, which was all natural and at home.

Massage -- Follow up several days later with an abdominal (as well as full-body) massage by a professional to get rid of any residual pain.

Acupuncture -- With both of my miscarriages I had a lot of pain for days afterwards, acupuncture was able to help release the pain and help my body adjust to the change. I also had several grief treatments Internal/External Dragon (japanese treatment) after my second loss which released a lot of pent up emotion.

In case of bad bleeding, try these tricks for controlling uterine bleeding. This is a harder one as you really have to keep an eye on how much blood you lose. Factor in how far away the nearest hospital and get there ASAP if you think you are in trouble.

Hope this helps, keep it on hand for future reference in case you know anyone who can use it.



Updated 3/18/06.

I had the worst time yesterday from about 4pm. I was having what I can only describe as someone stabbing me multiple times in the abdomen with a sword and then dying. These were uterine cramps that were probably similar to labor. My uterus decided that it was time to redecorate and worked really hard to rip out the old endometrial lining. It went on for hours, from 4pm until I fell asleep and was still squirming when I got up to pee at 2am.

I tried everything I could think of -- red wine (4 glasses), passion flower tea, lemonbalm tea, chocolate (no really, it is supposed to help), anti-cramping meds I had from France when I had salmonella poisoning, a hot water bottle. Finally I took a muscle relaxant at 12:30 and that seemed to take the edge off a bit, at least it helped me sleep. I felt like a bit time drug abuser, and normally I'm such a straight-edge person, but I had to do something.

I finally had some more productive bleeding so I guess all my uterus's hard work was paying off. It was so bad I considered taking a taxi to the hospital and asking them to give me a sedative.

My partner isn't here, he left for Los Angeles yesterday to spend the weekend with his brother and mother. It's his brother's bday. I'm so glad that I knew not to go, I had a feeling something like this might happen and I couldn't imagine going through it on a plane!

I'm feeling better today and my exciting news is that yesterday my basel temp was 98.2 and this morning 97.8 -- the lowest temps I've had since I was pg. Actually this morning's temp puts me back below the CL and so we have actually reset the cycle on my body! Yeah!

ouch! Agonizing and debilitating cramps

So Wednesday night I lost half of my pg belly -- that was pretty dramatic. I can't believe how fast my body was reorganizing itself.

Today, Friday I missed work again since I still had a killer headache and some cramping. This progressed to major agonizing cramping around 4pm that had me moaning and writhing in pain. I ate chocolate -- helps keep anandamine, a pain and tranquilizing substance the body produces (similar to THC in marajuana) around in the body longer. I drank 2 glasses of red wine, took an anti-cramping drug I got in France a couple years ago when I had salmonella and then drank 1/3 cup of passion flower tea. I then tried breathing exercises and sat in the summer heat on my front porch with a hot water bottle for 2 hours and finally my cramps started to subside.

I was then able to go out for dinnner with friends, drank more red wine, and the cramping was pretty quiet for a couple hours. Then I went to a friend's house and she's an herbalist and made me lemonbalm tea which, like passion flower, is supposed to be a nerve tonic. Drinking that and holding the hot mug to my belly both helped some as the cramps were coming back.

I wasn't having any major bleeding until about an hour ago, still light by the menses benchmark but red and not dark like before. I feel like someone has stabbed me with a sword a couple times in the abdomen and I'm dying to be honest. I'm now having another glass of red wine and going to go to bed with the hot water bottle clutched to my abdomen in spite of the heat wave we are having here in Seattle. Whatever it takes.

OUCH!

I hope this subsides by morning.