Saturday, September 10, 2005

Bowling and Babies

We had a company bowling event last night and in addition to my niece being there one of our employees bought along his wife and baby. The baby was 5-6 months and babies that age just remind me of my first m/c and make me really uncomfortable (that could have been me, ya know?) I didn't even say hi to the woman, I'm sure she thought I was cold. Other people from our company were carrying the babies around and the like but I just feel like babies are a loaded subject for me. I could see the wife of another employee staring at the babies as I know they are interested in starting TTC. It just made me think of how much heartache TTC has brought me and as I fell asleep last night I kept thinking to myself that maybe I would be better off just not having babies.


Aliza at Babyfruit said...

Thanks for stopping by Babyfruit and for your info on uterine fibroids and ovarian cysts. I have to read up on them. For some reason, I'm thinking that reflexology could also be helpful to me. And I'm seeing a new acupuncturist who specializes in fertility issues. Just trying to cover all the bases.

In regards to baby envy, hand in there. I can't say it gets better, but you are not alone.

agness said...

I've heard of reflexology helping some women. Isn't it freaky what we will put ourselves through to have a kid. Infertility (not getting pg) is one thing but once you start having miscarriages it starts feeling all voodoo like in the strange rituals we go through. Why are so many of us broken I wonder. Would you have ever imagined that your very same self would be dealing with such a health crisis -- not to mention the emotional crisis that comes along with it.

I'm glad I switched over to a fertility acu practice. They are super busy but the treatments have already been so different and in some ways more effective than with my previous acu.

I'll watch to see how your treatment goes. Here's some baby dust your way, if mine is any good. I've never felt like it has interfered with anyone else's fertility at least.

Take care.