Friday, June 09, 2006

Up Before Dawn

I've been up since 4am; I had to pee badly (not typical for me but then I'm drinking more fluids and I'm pg) and then all my little aches kept me up. I'm going to be exhausted by later this afternoon, even if I manage to get back to sleep.

My partner told me late last night that he had two friends call him last night to go out for a drink and he declined. He said that he knew he couldn't keep his mouth shut about my being pg and he feels it is too early to tell. He, and we, are holding out for the heartbeat scan.

This pregnancy already feels different to me from the others. With the first I felt like my pregnancy, my baby, had no soul. It was an odd feeling that I didn't really talk about. Then my scan showed that it was an empty sac. The pregnancy last year, from the time I saw the positive pregnancy test I just thought that it would just be a matter of time until it failed.

But this time, I feel like there's a spirit in me, a small one but a very vibrant one. I don't feel like it will fail. I do think it's going to be a rough couple of weeks but I'm going to do my all to try to help keep my baby sticky this time.

My doc said that typically with number like mine are he wouldn't do follow up bloodwork. He agreed with me, though things are going well, that moderate tracking of levels would at least give us more information to work with -- should something go wrong. So I'm going to have my progesterone and beta checked again in a week.

I need to figure out about a scan, though something tells me this one is a keeper.

Thanks for your support and comments. You guys are great. :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

after my sisterinlaw got pregnant, after m/c, she said she felt a lot of aches and pains. She feels now that was all in her head. She was just so nervous about this pg and made herself sick. She did have a successful pg, he is now 4 months old. Though I will say she did not have an ab myo. I think alot of your aches are from that. Just relax and keep feeling you babies spirit!!!