Monday, June 26, 2006

Today

I felt better yesterday and this morning I'm feeling pretty good, though I need to go eat something pretty quick. Saturday was really awful though, not sure why my body was having such a hard time.

I find that the EDDs bother me more than the dates of my losses, since for each of my failed pregnancies the process of finding out I lost them and then the subsequent resolution covered so many days (July 1-Nov 5 with my first loss; June 9-26 with the second). If this pg works out it will be right smack in the middle of the other two EDDs and if it doesn't work out, well let's just say the end of January and the beginnning of February will definately not be a happy time for me.

I had a dream this morning about my appt tomorrow morning. In it my doctor and his assistant were checking stuff out but I never saw the images and they never said "there it is" and it was all vague and I was bothered and a bit anxious about it and I wanted numbers -- how thick was my lining, where was the baby, etc. And then I woke up and remembered that it was just a day away and I thought to myself, maybe if I can just get an answer.

I'm feeling queasy today actually, and its not going away. I think I need to go take a walk.

1 comment:

Nikole said...

Keep doing whatever you need to take care of yourself. Those early pregnancy dreams really got to me. It's amazing how vivid they were at times, and how emotionally rattled I would become after them.

I'm glad your scan/appt are tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to hearing some good news. I'll be thinking of you and sending hopeful thoughts your way.

Speaking of dreams, I had one with you in it last night--in fact, you were the star. I was visiting Seattle, wandering the streets, and I came across a healing shop--you were the proprietor. You led me on a journey into some rocky terrian, where we entered a circle made of healing plants and herbs and other objects that I didn't recognize (and can't remember), but that seemed significant. I remember feeling really safe and comforted. I woke, feeling peaceful and comforted in how quickly we recognized eachother, despite having never met...dreams...

Sending lots of love and hugs and all that other stuff your way. I'll be checking in for news tomorrow.