Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Last night I was so tired and not hungry. I ate a small dinner my partner cooked for me (he's trying so hard) and then after a while I was exhausted and went to bed at 9:00pm. I was emotionally exhausted and completed uncomfortable. I was having cramps and feeling awful in no particular way. I used a hot water bottle because I was so freezing and couldn't get warm. I used my lavendar eye mask for a while but then I started crying. Eventually I passed out asleep and had weird dreams. I dreamt about my sister and a doberman and Christmas at my parents and the Girl Scout house where I grew up with my two employees who just quit doing a religious ceremony. I woke up this morning covered in sweat and it's cold here (60 degrees).

I have a cough and post nasal drip today. I've got hives on my face, neck and shoulders that are itching me. My eyes feel a bit puffy and coming in to work I kept getting misty.

I am grief.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Ann,

I am so sorry for how you feel. I still cry for my baby I lost a year ago and dont know how you have the strength to go through this again. I hope that the RE and acupuncturist will get you through a healthy 3rd pregnancy. I think the camping will be good for you. I can remember last year after my d&c my DH took me to the zoo for the day because i hated being at the house and be at the place where i have build so many dreams for my expected baby. Its good to get away and just face the ttc with a fresh approach when you come back. Good luck

Carin

Anna H. said...

You -- your body, your heart -- is going through so much. I wish it could be easier.

Thinking of you.

xxoo