Thursday, June 22, 2006

Work Worries

I'm co-owner of a small firm and it's been hard to recruit and hire enough skilled people to be able to do all the work that needs to be done. This has only gotten worse now that I'm pregnant since I can't carry as much of the load as I was prior; I'm just exhausted.

My partner is also my business partner so that makes things hard as well. He's used to relying on me and he needs to adjust to the fact that I just can't do as much right now.

Yesterday was a really strenuous day at work and I was exhausted at the end of the day. I have a new project manager and she seems to need more training than I can handle right now. My sales person is a part-time mother but even on the days when she's supposed to be at the office I'm having to do flex time with her -- she comes in late, leaves early. She's diligent but she doesn't create enough of a buffer between her work and life. I don't think she had an ideal childcare situation and now her nanny has given notice.

I ended up fighting with my partner last night when he came home, I was so over-tired and he wanted to talk business even though it was midnight. He doesn't get how much has changed for us right now, in some ways this is worse than the flu since I feel like if I push myself too much right now I'm going to kill this pregnancy. I told him that things will probably go badly next week and then I'll have to deal with another loss, and if things happen (by an act of God) go well, then I'm still screwed because I just don't have enough energy for this level of responsibility.

I feel so frustrated. And tired.


Anonymous said...

Hang in there! I continue to have a good feeling for you about this pg.


Anonymous said...

I know how you are feeling. My husband and I own a business- retail. Help is hard to find. Just remember that it won't always be hard. Maybe you should have a talk with your partner and explain your feelings. I'm sure you think he knows how you feel, but I bet he doesn't fully understand. Try to relax and find a way to give more responsibilities to your employees, so you can take it easy. I know that it is hard to give up control but maybe that is what your empoyees need. Just maybe they will shine and then you can relax more. Take it easy and know that there is many people in the online world rooting for you!

Nikole said...

Just wanted to send you a hug. Sorry things are so stressful right now. Please rest and take care of yourself.

agness said...

Thanks guys. I was talking about it with my acupuncturist the other day and she realized how complicated it was as well. Because my partner and I are the bosses, and because we have this bad history with pg before we really don't want to let on. I think it would cause a lot of uncertainty for people that isn't necessary yet. So, over the years I've not had the benefit of being able to talk to co-workers, and then when I've had my losses I can't ask my boss or coworkers to help me out. I just have to deal. Though, being one of the owners I was able to take more days off to deal with my grief -- which would come randomly and sometimes overwelmingly, particularly after our first loss.