Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Why do I even bother?

This has been going on for so long, the charting, timed intercourse, researching, seeing various docs, and at the end of the game I'm not really sure I'm getting anywhere at all.

Frustrations...

All the people who have gotten pregnant, had babies, gotten pregnant again, had miscarriages and gotten pregnant again, done ART procedures and gotten pregnant and had babies.

Sadness...

All the people who had miscarriage after miscarriage, or are still waiting to conceive again after a loss, sometimes a very hard-earned loss. And also all the gals I know who have had myomectomies after dealing with infertility and pregnancy loss and now are still waiting.

Saturday will be one year since my fibroid surgery. It's been a long year.

2 comments:

April said...

I'm so sorry you've had to wait so long for something that you desire so strongly.

Anonymous said...

Oh my friend, I wish sometimes that hugs could be sent across the wires as easily as words.

This whole process is so difficult, and you're right, there does come a point where you start to wonder how much further you're willing to go.

Hearing about another successful pregnancy doesn't help but simply tears at your heart and soul.

I'm sorry that this anniversary approaches without a succesful BFP in the mix.

Take care of yourself today, if I remember correctly your partner's away? Take a moment and find that thing out there that makes you smile and reminds you of the wonder that's yet in the world.

If wishes were reality I'd give you a housefull of tiny little feet.

Big giant hugs to you -

Gato