Bloated as anything

Have you ever had a cycle where you went from feeling normal, almost skinny before ovulation and then felt like you gained 10 pounds after ovulation? It's been driving me nuts and I thought to myself, surely I've not been eating that much. Even my underwear hasn't been fitting right for the past 10 days.

This morning I have my consult with my ob/gyn to discuss my care plan for my next pregnancy. I figured that to rule it out, I would test this morning before my appointment to see if anything was there. I wasn't that optimistic. I took the test and it was blank, and waited and it was blank. So I stuck it in my drawer and then after a couple of minutes I checked again. And sure enough there was the faintest line coming up. I sort of felt like something must be going on for all that bloating.

So here you go, my third BFP, without any enhancement:

So, that's three for three of getting pg around this time of year.

BFN

That's Big Fat Negative for you who are not yet indoctrinated into the web fertility acronyms. I bought a test this morning as my temps had been rising the past three days, not to the stellar 98.6 temp that has shown up when I'm pregnant, just back up to 98.3 from a low of 97.8 (below coverline). It was so very negative that test, it's the kind that you just keep staring at and hoping that something is going to come from the nothingness but then it stares back at you blankly.

I called my acupuncturist's office and cancelled my last two schedule appointments. I'm now waiting for Aunt Flo and starting my psychological break from trying to conceive. We'll see how I'm feeling in the new year I think, then probably go back in to see the RE.

About Home Pregnancy Tests

These are great to refer to when you are trying to figure out which test to buy, when to test, etc.

Pregnancy Test Sensitivity and Early-Detection Testing

Home Pregnancy Test hCG Levels and FAQ

Peeonastick.com - The Secret of the Digital

Pregancy and Ovulation Testing Tips

Pregnancy Test - Sensitivity Comparison

Home Pregancy Test Information

Obsessing, Of Course

Who wouldn't obsess with a dip to the coverline (97.8) on my basal chart yesterday followed by a spike (98.6) this morning at 4am (I woke up early due to an uninspired dream that annoyed me). I'm on 8DPO now and I started using my prescription progesterone on Friday evening, after using natural progesterone cream at least once a week since Monday. My experiment on myself this cycle is to see if I can help influence for the better the development of a pregnancy by supplementing sooner since last time with supplementation in my luteal phase the pregnancy developed further along.

I did go down the street this morning to pick up an early pregnancy test* and knowing full well that last cycle when I got pregnant that the day of my temp spike that I tested negative but it was worth a shot. So I tested and it came back negative. Still, that means nothing yet. I'm hoping that my cycle charting program will give me a triphasic message in a couple days and that testing again in a couple of days will give me a positive pregnancy test.

I feel determined to get pregnant this cycle. Our fertility has certainly improved and I'm relatively healthy really. Also, since this is our first cycle trying since the last pregnancy I'm hoping to draft that cycle's hormonal adjustments which should likely have improved my hormonal balance some.

If this cycle doesn't work then I'm tempted to try a few months of progesterone shut-down of my ovaries to help counterbalance my estrogen levels. But I'm hoping it won't be necessary.

Send sticky thoughts.

* When I went to buy the pregnancy test I was one of the first people in the drugstore this morning. I had thought I would pick up a few things but we don't really need anything right now. I thought I might buy a pair of rubber gloves for cleaning but they didn't have any. Instead I decided to buy an electric fan on sale. So I went up to the register with a pregnancy test box and a fan. Trying to make the pregnancy test seem like something that I'm all nonchalant about. But I'm not, so very not as it's been such a journey and these tests represent so much hope and can give so much pain and pleasure. I think that probably there is a story behind every test that is sold and each one is attached to hopes and dreams for better or worse.

I just remembered from a few weeks ago something that I thought you might find interesting. I had that BFP come up on the HPT and brought it into the bedroom. My partner and I just stared at it for a while and I remember we talked about the fact that it was probably a chemical pg and that there was a good chance that it might go away the next day. It didn't of course, but that just goes to show you how much we feel like this isn't for real.

We talk about it a little bit. We both want to have it go well but losing that pregnancy last year was really hard for us both. I woke up early this morning and remembered thinking to myself that if our scan goes badly will I be able to not feel so sorry for myself this time. I just don't know.

You have no idea how surprised I am. I totally wasn't expecting that test to come up positive. I thought to myself that it was just going to be another blank test. Then I noticed a the test dye was activated and it just looked a little bit different. Then I walked away and came back and it looked like nothing but I picked it up and the dye was starting to lightly accumulate some on the test line as well as the control line.

It's been a long time since we started on this TTC adventure. I was just saying on the Ovusoft boards on Saturday about how this would be a bad time to get pg since work is so busy right now with proposals and deals closing. Same as last year though, I was just starting to give up hope and then this. We conceived last May 24th (my ovulation date) so this must be a fertile time for us.

Of course the bathroom is still a mess and the kitchen remodel isn't underway. I still haven't finished renovating the office but now I need to stay away from paints and solvents -- even though we use low toxicity/water-based they still contain compounds which act on the endocrine system.

All it took...

Vasectomy reversal in 1998
Poor morphology 2000
Charting and TTC started 2002
Fibroid dx 2002
Start working with a naturopathic doctor 2002
Consult with a bunch of REs and Ob/gyns 2003
Get partner off of Paxil 2004
Get partner on MFI vitamin mix 2004
Acupuncture for me 2004-2005
Blighted ovum July 2004
Fibroid surgery 2004
Chinese herbs to help rebuild my system after surgery 2005
Fertility monitor Feb 2005
Lots of wonderful online buddies to help keep me sane when things were sure as heck not feeling that way.

Thanks to all who donated babydust to this BFP. I'm spreading a little back out at the rest of you who are needing it.

I forgot to mention that I used vitex as you may recall, for 6 days of this cycle. I think that it actually might have helped to recalibrate me a bit. Then I started using natural progesterone cream (Emerita) starting 8dpo and the combination of the two might have made my wooba more hospitible. I also used cinnamon to help counteract my post O fatigue which did help. I haven't posted my updated chart yet, I'll do that for Thursday morning, after I have the result from my second beta draw. Oh, and I also did what another TTC buddy did -- I went out shopping for new clothes last week.

My partner and I both had decided some time ago that we wouldn't tell anyone IRL until we were past the all clear, after hearing the baby's heartbeat the risk of loss goes down to 5%.

My partner, after seeing how hard our loss was for me last year, want me to also protect myself and not set myself up for disappointment should something go wrong. I'm a very sensitive person and it doesn't take much to blow me over.

I tested again this morning and it was a touch darker. I'll go in to get my beta checked today, I even printed out a copy of my chart since I don't want them to go by LMP since I ovulated late. I should know the results this afternoon and I will keep you posted.

My breasts were sore yesterday and this morning (13dpo), plus my temp went up to 98.6. I was going to stop using NPC to help let AF arrive a little easier but thought I better test just to be sure and here's what came up:



I'm not going to tell anyone else just yet nor am I going to update my chart to the Ovusoft site.

There's a chance that it might not stick as implantation was probably a little late, though the progesterone cream supplementation might have counterbalanced that a bit.

I'm feeling pretty good this morning. I wasn't on the computer over the weekend much, we were trying to have a life (we work on computers all week long and then some).

My blood tests came back in the normal range. I got the second HCG test result on Friday afternoon and the level had doubled appropriately.

This weekend I decided to not go to New York at the end of the month since traveling that far would be stressful and I'm really sensitive to stress. Besides, I don't know how I'll be feeling then. I called and told my parents, brother, grandmother, great-aunt (she'll be 96 in Sept) and the mother of the bride -- my mom's cousin (I was going east for this wedding). I thought my mother was funny, she asked me when I told her "Are you sure?" My goodness, what does she think? I told my dad first and he replied excitedly "tell your mother". My brother was blown away. They knew we were trying for a long time but maybe they thought we couldn't do it.

We also told my partner's mother, brother and sister-in-law, aunt, uncle and cousin. The clan has been notified and activated on both sides.

When my bladder is full in the morning and I'm lying on my back I can see my fibroid faintly on the right side because of my uterus being swollen. The fibroid isn't feeling active so I hope there isn't any competition for blood supply going on so our baby can get all it needs. My breasts are really full and dense, that's the biggest symptom by far. I have noticed that I tend to feel more cramps, queasiness, and waves of emotions in the afternoon so that will be the biggest challenge at work until we are ready to tell everyone.

It is 6:00AM and my partner pushes me to move over and mumbles that I'm too hot. Too hot I think, that's kinda odd if I'm just about to get my period. So I take my temp and it is 98.6 - really high for being woken up an hour and a half early. So, I figure 34 day cycle, temp a little warm, still no sign of my period, I guess that warrants a pregnancy test. So I go down the hall to the bathroom and do. And I watch the paper fibers being saturated and it looks oddly bluish and it settles into two very clear blue lines. That's right, my first positive.

I have no idea what we are up against at this point because of my fibroid but I wanted to share. We have been trying for over 2 years, unprotected sex since February 2000 as well. This seems amazing and I don't really feel different. Not really. I guess that visit to the doctor will be for something else this afternoon.