I had the worst time yesterday from about 4pm. I was having what I can only describe as someone stabbing me multiple times in the abdomen with a sword and then dying. These were uterine cramps that were probably similar to labor. My uterus decided that it was time to redecorate and worked really hard to rip out the old endometrial lining. It went on for hours, from 4pm until I fell asleep and was still squirming when I got up to pee at 2am.

I tried everything I could think of -- red wine (4 glasses), passion flower tea, lemonbalm tea, chocolate (no really, it is supposed to help), anti-cramping meds I had from France when I had salmonella poisoning, a hot water bottle. Finally I took a muscle relaxant at 12:30 and that seemed to take the edge off a bit, at least it helped me sleep. I felt like a bit time drug abuser, and normally I'm such a straight-edge person, but I had to do something.

I finally had some more productive bleeding so I guess all my uterus's hard work was paying off. It was so bad I considered taking a taxi to the hospital and asking them to give me a sedative.

My partner isn't here, he left for Los Angeles yesterday to spend the weekend with his brother and mother. It's his brother's bday. I'm so glad that I knew not to go, I had a feeling something like this might happen and I couldn't imagine going through it on a plane!

I'm feeling better today and my exciting news is that yesterday my basel temp was 98.2 and this morning 97.8 -- the lowest temps I've had since I was pg. Actually this morning's temp puts me back below the CL and so we have actually reset the cycle on my body! Yeah!

ouch! Agonizing and debilitating cramps

So Wednesday night I lost half of my pg belly -- that was pretty dramatic. I can't believe how fast my body was reorganizing itself.

Today, Friday I missed work again since I still had a killer headache and some cramping. This progressed to major agonizing cramping around 4pm that had me moaning and writhing in pain. I ate chocolate -- helps keep anandamine, a pain and tranquilizing substance the body produces (similar to THC in marajuana) around in the body longer. I drank 2 glasses of red wine, took an anti-cramping drug I got in France a couple years ago when I had salmonella and then drank 1/3 cup of passion flower tea. I then tried breathing exercises and sat in the summer heat on my front porch with a hot water bottle for 2 hours and finally my cramps started to subside.

I was then able to go out for dinnner with friends, drank more red wine, and the cramping was pretty quiet for a couple hours. Then I went to a friend's house and she's an herbalist and made me lemonbalm tea which, like passion flower, is supposed to be a nerve tonic. Drinking that and holding the hot mug to my belly both helped some as the cramps were coming back.

I wasn't having any major bleeding until about an hour ago, still light by the menses benchmark but red and not dark like before. I feel like someone has stabbed me with a sword a couple times in the abdomen and I'm dying to be honest. I'm now having another glass of red wine and going to go to bed with the hot water bottle clutched to my abdomen in spite of the heat wave we are having here in Seattle. Whatever it takes.

OUCH!

I hope this subsides by morning.

I was so sick yesterday and my partner had to go to work in the morning and I was worried. Last night I even told him the nice things I wish he would say to me -- "I'm sorry you aren't feeling well", "I'm sorry this is so hard on your body", "I love you and I want you to be better". He then goes, "I'm really glad you have that out of you and had the procedure done." I gave up and asked him to bring me a hot water bottle for the cramps which he did. What can we do but throw up our arms. They mean well. Come to your girlfriends for the real support.

Why does it seem like there isn't any information about what happens when you miscarry, not the clinical stuff but the physical stuff.

When I left work yesterday I was feeling a bit woozy so I bought a bottle of water before I met a friend visiting from out of town. We then walked to a pub and I felt like laying down but I decided to be a trooper and push through it. I drank about 36 ounces of water over the next few hours and got incredibly bloated. I remembered that the hypothalmus helps control our cycles and also is involved in managing how much water is in our systems -- its what decides when you have to pee. I figure that my brain and endocrine system is starting to make some big adjustments but I was so swollen. My skin felt hot, my breasts had shooting pains, I had a headache and my hearing was weird -- everything sounded hollow.

We took a cab home and I got in bed and took my temp with has been over 100 since last night and was over 101 for several hours. I ache all over, my back and neck and legs in particular -- sort of like when I get the flu. This morning I also had some intense cramps and my heaviest bleeding so far of dark menstrual blood but it isn't really heavy compared to my period.

My partner called the doc this morning and they say this is normal and expected. I can understand why reorganizing my body to shift functions away from the pregnancy is a big deal I just didn't know I would feel like I had been hit by a truck.

Is my experience so far similar to yours? Is each miscarriage its own deal? This is a fairly cruel process overall but I guess that's the way the equipment works. I just makes it even harder that we don't get to have a baby and instead have to go through this.

I was starting to get worried because I was only spotting ever so lightly. This morning I decided that some exercise might help so I did some ballet for 30 minutes and tried relaxing my uterus. This did help as the bleeding has increased, but it is still fairly light. I'm glad to be making some progress.

Actually a little while ago I went to the bathroom and had a cramp so bad that it brought tears to my eyes. I'm now sitting with a heating pad on my lap as I work and I think it will help take the edge off.

Adventures in miscarrying.

I've researched progesterone a lot and I've used both a topical cream and Rx vaginal suppositories. My progesterone level was low when I had my 7dpo test last October, and I have other small symptoms of low progesterone as well. My mother had low progesterone prior to conceiving my brother, after 3 miscarriages -- although she is allergic to iodine and has thyroid trouble.

My P4 at 19 dpo was 18.4 which is low I know. I used NPC (natural progesterone cream) for 4 days (19dpo-22dpo) and then the vag. suppositories (V.S.), 50 mg twice daily starting a week after that (there was a problem with the Rx so hence the delay.

My early pregnancy was full of queasiness (like motion sickness -- I recall it now from physical memory like being on a roller coaster -- which I hate!!!). My breasts were huge and sore, I felt like I was surrounded by cotton -- I couldn't think clearly. And my mood! I was like Attila the Hun there, snapping and losing it at the drop of a hat.

When I found out about my blighted ovum I stopped taking the progesterone and magically I felt 100 times better. I had no idea when I was taking it that it was the progesterone that was jerking me around so much. Now that I've finally kicked the bugger out (d&c yesterday) and I'm preparing myself for my next try (in a few weeks or so) I feel just so confused about the progesterone. It seems like it caused some fibroid growth, made me feel like HELL and hardly functional at all. I'm feeling reluctant to take it, at least in that high dosage the next time.

I didn't have any bloodwork done when I was on the V.S. so I don't know if my body is super killer at processing progesterone or if I'm absolutely horrible at metabolizing it so it just builds up to unbearable degrees. I guess I'll have to talk to my doc.

I'm back and I survived. Overall I have to say it was a relief to finally have this d&c done. I think it was all the prayers that helped make this easier for me. Thank you!

My doctor was great, so careful and conservative. He definitely has a lot of experience working in that area. The nurses were awesome; they were so nice and caring. The procedure was done in the operatory suite where they retrieve eggs for IVF patients. The nurses gave me warmed blankets over my shoulders and stomach and kept my legs and feet warm with towels as well.

Having had a more than typically painful HSG last year, I think that I was better prepared for the sensations which were similar but just more and longer. When I had my HSG the RE tried to help stretch out my uterus for better films, the uterus being wrapped around the fibroid. She did this by pressing the speculum in different directions which pulled on the ligaments I guess. I had cramps for days afterwards. I also have periodic pelvic pain from my fibroid so again, this wasn't shocking to me. If I had never had any such discomfort in my life it probably would have been worse. The nurses and doctor all said that I was a great patient with a good pain tolerance. They asked if I did yoga, I told them that I danced -- I think they were amazed that I could sit in stirrups for so long as it took a while for us to get started.

The worst thing was that it took 3 tries to get the IV started and I left the hospital with bandages on both arms.

My partner was there in with me the entire time which was a great relief, more than I would have supposed. Once the sedatives kicked in I kept babbling on and on about all kinds of things although mostly about how odd this experience was.

Yesterday afternoon I came home and took a nap on the couch for a while. Then my sister and one of my best friends came over and spent time with me for a few hours. my partner and I walked down the street for a late dinner at 9pm. I mostly felt tired.

I feel a little crampy today and I've had just a minor amount of spotting so far. My temp was a little elevated this morning so I'll keep an eye on that. It might just be my thyroid trying to adjust itself at this point.

I actually have less pelvic pain now than I did before the procedure, I think that is because of my fibroid already distending the uterus. My breasts are also starting to soften slightly -- yippee! My doc is still cool with me TTC with the fibroid intact. I did find out that he is leaving the hospital to go out on his own at the end of the month. He'll only be 30 minutes away in Everett, WA but still I'm bummed since that is a hike and it took so long to find someone I like and trust.

I have some tears trapped inside of me still, I know they will come out sooner or later but I'm doing pretty good over all. A little numb maybe but I feel like a survivor.

I dragged my partner out to a lavender festival this weekend. It was great to get away from home. We spent the night at a friends house and drove around the countryside today. I got a lot of fresh air and sunshine and didn't allow myself to mope around all weekend. I feel like it is crazy that our embryo didn't develop and that we've known that since July 1 but here it is the 18th and I'm still pregnant. Almost over finally. It's been an odd journey over the past couple weeks, including hormonal ups and downs. I'm feeling closer to normal today, not sure if it was the sun or if maybe my HCG is dropping. My nipples are still sore and my abdomen is still fluffy (aka: fat).

I'm about to head over to the hospital to get un-pregnant. I wonder how long it will take to get over this. My biggest thing now is finding some sanitary napkins in my purses that I can consolidate. I haven't bought any and I was just out when we found out we were pg in June. I hope I don't feel bad this afternoon. Send me your best thoughts and prayers please.

I'm about to head over to the hospital to get un-pregnant. I wonder how long it will take to get over this. My biggest thing now is finding some sanitary napkins in my purses that I can consolidate. I haven't bought any and I was just out when we found out we were pg in June. I hope I don't feel bad this afternoon. Send me your best thoughts and prayers please.

These were some of the more useful links that I've found in understanding what was going on with my blighted ovum/early miscarriage. I thought I would share.

GENERAL MISCARRIAGE

Understanding Miscarriage

Early Pregnancy Loss

Miscarriage Explained

Early Miscarriage

Miscarriage and PCOS

Missed Abortion

Post-partum Bleeding (lochia)

Miscarriage Information


BLIGHTED OVUM

Blighted Ovum

Blighted Ovum

Anembryonic gestation


DILATION AND CURETTAGE - D&C

Dilation and curettage

Dilation and curettage 2


MEDICAL MANAGEMENT (DRUGS)

Methotrexate For Noncancerous Conditions (Systemic)

Pharmaceutical Induction - Pitocin and Cytotec (Misoprostol)

Medical Abortions

Completing A Miscarriage


I found this study that was published earlier this year and it was interesting because it was both effective, used a lesser dosage than is commonly used in the US currently for abortion purposes and had fewer side effects.

Medical management of first trimester miscarriage (blighted ovum and missed abortion): is it effective?


NATURAL INDUCTION – NOT RECOMMENDED

I did find this link with information from midwives on ways to medically complete a "missed abortion".

Completing A Miscarriage

Here's someone's reading list from Amazon.com on herbal abortions -- no I don't recommend going that route, I found some other links that talks about how toxic it is for the mother.


RETAINED TISSUE

Detection of retained products of conception following spontaneous abortion in the first trimester

GESTATIONAL TROPHOBLASTIC DISEASE/ MOLAR PREGNANCY

Gestational Trophoblastic Disease


Gestational Trophoblastic Disease (Sloan Kettering)


"Of utmost importance is careful follow-up with serum beta HCG (BHCG) weekly until less than 100 mIU/mL and then every two weeks. The patient should have a careful pelvic examination every other week and a chest x-ray every 4-6 weeks. Once the titer of serum BHCG has fallen to normal levels, these two examinations need no longer be done; however, BHCG titers need to be repeated every 2 weeks for 3 months, then monthly for 3 months, then every 2 months for 6 months, then every 6 months for 3 years. Each patient should be counseled in the use of a reliable birth control method." (from the NIH site)


"Women should be advised to avoid pregnancy until hCG levels have been normal for six months following evacuation of a molar pregnancy and for one year following chemotherapy for gestational trophoblastic tumour. The combined oral contraceptive pill is safe for use by women with GTT (III-C)."
(from: http://sogc.medical.org/sogcnet/sogc_docs/common/guide/pdfs/ps114.pdf)

Embolization of Bleeding Residual Uterine Vascular Malformations in Patients with Treated Gestational Trophoblastic Tumors


Molar Pregnancy



GRIEVING, SUPPORT & RECOVERY

http://www.pregnancyloss.info/

SHARE – Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support

Pregnancy After Miscarriage (PAM)

Hygeia Foundtation & Institute for Perinatal Loss and Bereavement

Coping with the 5 stages of grief and bereavement

October 15th - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

What is Grief?