How is it possible that I'm pregnant? Two nights ago I woke up really early in the morning and was too tired to get up and one of the first things I thought was how this pregnancy is taking over my body bit by bit which caused me a little anxiety. I was half-asleep at the time and it's kinda funny thinking about it now.

I'm 16 dpo today and I just got back the results of my second beta. Monday=94 (14dpo) Wed=266 (16dpo). My progesterone was 13.2 but they aren't worrying about it and I'm already supplementing with progesterone cream.

I don't want to say anything until after my 6 week scan, since that was such a rough thing for us last year. After we see a baby then we will let everyone know.

I'm going in for my repeat beta later this morning after my acupuncture appointment. If the numbers look good then I'll post my chart tonight.

I told another friend from the boards yesterday, she hasn't been on in months and is taking a break and just happened to IM me yesterday. She's been trying for ages and it turns out her DH has anti-sperm antibodies. Their relationship has really been affected by the infertility and they are likely going to separate -- a lot has gone wrong in their relationship, this would be for the best.

She told me to let people know so that they could share in the good news. I know what she means but I think about my infertile buddies and how this news would be a mixed thing. I hate how hard it is for ppl, but this really didn't come easy I had to make some pretty radical lifestyle changes and also have surgery.

My breasts are sore, though a touch less sore than yesterday. Its more different sore. I so hope that everything is going to go well. With all the healthy eating I've been doing to help rebuild my system since the surgery, the weekly acupuncture, the select use of medicinal herbs, and the progesterone -- plus not having my blood-sucking fibroid in there anymore -- surely things will go better this time.

My partner, came down last night from his office in the attic and sat next to me and put his head on my shoulder and said "When are we going out to dinner to celebrate my good sperm" He wants to go to that nice restaurant we went to on our anniversary. I reminded him that we opened up a celebratory bottle of champagne last week (yum!) and that it was a good thing we got that out of the way as I wouldn't be drinking for a while. I don't mind a sip here or there, but nothing more.

I think I'll post my updated chart on Thursday if my temps look good and just let people find out that way. Does that seem weird. I'm just so afraid of jinxing it. Ya know?

My breasts are so huge already, much sooner than last time for certain. I tested positive at 19 dpo -- I waited until I was a couple of days late -- and it was the week after that things got interesting. I didn't use progesterone that cycle though so who knows.

I've had lots of belly twinges and also faint waves of nausea but nothing that would stop you in your tracks. I so hope this is a keeper. You have no idea how much my mood lifted when I got the beta result.

I tested on 13 dpo. I kept thinking about a buddy's late BFP, it was partly what kept me using the progesterone cream. I was thinking that it was possible that somewhere inside me was a little fertilized egg that was trying to find a place to implant and it was up to me to try to help improve the environment with the progesterone (I've tested low for progesterone twice).

While studies are inconclusive about progesterone preventing miscarriage, there is still a lot they haven't studied and some clinical evidence points to progesterone supplementation actually helping "rescue" the corpus lutuem. If your progesterone production is lame and implantation can happen late then there is a chance that supplementing progesterone can keep the endometrium in a state that the egg can implant whereas without it the environment is inhospitable.

You have no idea how surprised I am. I totally wasn't expecting that test to come up positive. I thought to myself that it was just going to be another blank test. Then I noticed a the test dye was activated and it just looked a little bit different. Then I walked away and came back and it looked like nothing but I picked it up and the dye was starting to lightly accumulate some on the test line as well as the control line.

It's been a long time since we started on this TTC adventure. I was just saying on the Ovusoft boards on Saturday about how this would be a bad time to get pg since work is so busy right now with proposals and deals closing. Same as last year though, I was just starting to give up hope and then this. We conceived last May 24th (my ovulation date) so this must be a fertile time for us.

Of course the bathroom is still a mess and the kitchen remodel isn't underway. I still haven't finished renovating the office but now I need to stay away from paints and solvents -- even though we use low toxicity/water-based they still contain compounds which act on the endocrine system.

All it took...

Vasectomy reversal in 1998
Poor morphology 2000
Charting and TTC started 2002
Fibroid dx 2002
Start working with a naturopathic doctor 2002
Consult with a bunch of REs and Ob/gyns 2003
Get partner off of Paxil 2004
Get partner on MFI vitamin mix 2004
Acupuncture for me 2004-2005
Blighted ovum July 2004
Fibroid surgery 2004
Chinese herbs to help rebuild my system after surgery 2005
Fertility monitor Feb 2005
Lots of wonderful online buddies to help keep me sane when things were sure as heck not feeling that way.

Thanks to all who donated babydust to this BFP. I'm spreading a little back out at the rest of you who are needing it.

I forgot to mention that I used vitex as you may recall, for 6 days of this cycle. I think that it actually might have helped to recalibrate me a bit. Then I started using natural progesterone cream (Emerita) starting 8dpo and the combination of the two might have made my wooba more hospitible. I also used cinnamon to help counteract my post O fatigue which did help. I haven't posted my updated chart yet, I'll do that for Thursday morning, after I have the result from my second beta draw. Oh, and I also did what another TTC buddy did -- I went out shopping for new clothes last week.

My beta came back at 94, which is in that good range (around 100 ng/ml 14-16 dpo results in an 85% success rate at this point)

Can you even believe it?

My partner doesn't want me to tell anyone online yet though so it will just be you and I for a little while. I don't think I can hold it back though for long, already people are starting to ask questions about my chart.

I posted a message on Saturday to one of my buddy groups that went on about how lame my chart was this cycle and how it didn't even look a little like the example charts of pregnancy success and how it was a good thing I wasn't pregnant right now as work is so busy and that I just had to resign myself to the fact that we might not have kids since we don't want to do IVF. I almost took it down on Sunday morning but decided to leave it. Pretty amusing.

One of my chart-lurking buddies, said to discard the weird peak prior to O and then to move out my ovulation date ( it was only due to my override that it was on Sunday anyway) and my coverline would drop down indicating a larger thermal shift. When you look at it that way, the vitex does in fact look like it adjusted my hormones for the better compared to previous cycle and that it does in fact look like a better chart.

My partner and I both had decided some time ago that we wouldn't tell anyone IRL until we were past the all clear, after hearing the baby's heartbeat the risk of loss goes down to 5%.

My partner, after seeing how hard our loss was for me last year, want me to also protect myself and not set myself up for disappointment should something go wrong. I'm a very sensitive person and it doesn't take much to blow me over.

I tested again this morning and it was a touch darker. I'll go in to get my beta checked today, I even printed out a copy of my chart since I don't want them to go by LMP since I ovulated late. I should know the results this afternoon and I will keep you posted.

My breasts were sore yesterday and this morning (13dpo), plus my temp went up to 98.6. I was going to stop using NPC to help let AF arrive a little easier but thought I better test just to be sure and here's what came up:



I'm not going to tell anyone else just yet nor am I going to update my chart to the Ovusoft site.

There's a chance that it might not stick as implantation was probably a little late, though the progesterone cream supplementation might have counterbalanced that a bit.