AF arrived last night so I got to use my fertility monitor this morning. I know the first cycle it is just gathering data to compare to in future cycles but I have to say that the first day you use it is it a bit of a downer. I guess I don't have to POAS again until next week. I wonder how it will interpret my fertility, especially in contrast to my charting.

Do you know that I'm so much better since I felt all emotional and sick on Tuesday and then had to deal with my SIL's delivery. I feel like my ghost pregnancy, the one that you can't help but think about after that 9 months is defined when you get pregnant, the one that has been hanging over me -- it's over. I completed it and now I can go on. I metaphorically delivered my ghost baby up the other day. Does that make sense?

A woman who did a home birth, unattended post myo

I get the sense that it was a smaller fibroid that was removed but since the going protocol is for a c-section post most myos this was a brave direction to go when she was turned away by the birthing center.

Birthing Issues

The Prenatal That Wasn't

Perfect Prenatal -- read her letter and research into the actual risks of rupture post myo.

Dropped!

Gardening -- where she talks about the legalities and her comfort with her decision

Are they going to induce you??? -- scroll down a little to see what she says

Perfect Birth -- the home birth story

To a woman wanting to try the natural route with a large fibroid...

I tried the natural route and had some success with acupuncture and chinese medicine. But, when I did finally get pregnant my fibroid doubled in size. You think you are uncomfortable now, just wait as 80% of fibroids will grow during pregnancy.

I really think you should have it out, as scary as that might seem. After they get larger than 4cm they have a hard time getting rid of them through alternative therapy, though I'm sure there are exceptions. It is only because you are already uncomfortable that I'm telling you to have a myo, not every woman with fibroids has ones large enough, or positioned in way that set them out on a bad footing for pregnancy and yours sounds like mine.

I had mine removed in November and it was the size of a grapefruit (ack!) It is a big relief to have the fibroid out of there. Just the psychological stress of managing this fibroid that was going to keep doing its thing was a big burden. When I thought about getting pregnant with it in place again I just about had a panic attack, it was really uncomfortable and mine didn't have any degeneration.

I wish they would give out MRIs more easily as I think if I had seen how it was really positioned I might have had the surgery sooner. My fibroid was located right up against, but not engaging with, the endometrium. I don't regret waiting though since my miscarriage experience helped prepare me mentally for the surgery.

Here are some quotes from Johanna Skilling's book Fibroids about how fibroids can contribute to infertility:

"If a fibroid causes a miscarriage it's more likely to happen in the first or second trimester; in fact, fibroids can cause miscarriage so early on, you migh not even realize you are pregnant. Later in pregnancy, fibroids tend to cause pain or preterm contractions rather than miscarriage"

"How can fibroids cause miscarriage?...either by distorting the uterine cavity or by altering the blood flow that would normally be needed to nourish the growing fetus."

"Fibroids can release chemicals called prostaglandins, the hormone that triggers pain...Prostaglandins can also induce contractions of smooth-muscle tissue"

"...the cells of a fibroid divide faster than the "normal" cells in your body...This rapid cell division can trigger a response from your immune system--sending the body's natural defenses to try to deal with the perceived invader. This reaction is bad news for another "alien" in your body -- your fertilized egg."

My SIL went into labor yesterday evening and our little 2 1/2 yo nephew spent the night at our house. I went to bed late and after reading him 5 books, one of them twice, turning the light off and singing to him, we both fell asleep in our bed. My partner was upstairs finishing some work and came down later. Little Alex is a hogger, he totally hogs the bed. My partner and I were both laying on the edges of the bed and Alex just rolled around between us, grabbing at pillows, kicking the covers --- all while he was sound asleep. At 2am he started shouting in his sleep and with that I was wide awake. I got up and watched TV and the movie Little Women and knitting until 6:30 am when I went back to bed in our spare room. I had about 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night.

On the plus side, Alex did really well on his first night away from his parents, he gave me a hug and a kiss when he left after telling his dad that he wanted me to come too. I finished up the baby cardigan and booties that I was making for his little sister and sent those off with him as well (he helped me wrap the package, you could totally tell as I let him stick stickers on it and draw on the paper with crayons and the folds were all lumpy).

The baby is named Camille (ka-Mee is the French pronounciation they
are using) and she came out this morning without complication
weighing in at 7 lbs 6oz, a good pound less than her brother.

We'll see them later tonight at the hospital. I will probably cry as
Sunday was my EDD for my failed pg. I would probably cry anyway and I just need to let it out. I already cried today. I'm just feeling so emotional. They are dropping babies around us like they are going out of style or something like that.

I'm going to start posting links to some of the postings I've found on other blogs by women who have had fibroids and myos and pregnancies, etc. It's amazing how many people there are.

Enough Already: I'm Never Right About A Damn Thing...

So Close: Natural Schmatural -- scroll down to Rachel's reply post.

Dirty Words

LaLa Blog-o-Rino

memage

Almost Faemist

Nancy's Blogger

The Road to Sleeplessness