How My Scan Went
So I show up at the OB's office to check in and the reception person doesn't have me on the schedule. She tells me that she has me down for two weeks from now. She tells me to have a seat. I sit there stressed out and miserable until she calls me back. I wasn't there for a prenatal (even though they told me when I made the appt that it was) but for a viability check. Then she told me to sit down again.
So I sit there, waiting for my partner to come up from getting a cup of coffee and that word keeps running through my head --
a viability check. Viability. Not Viable. Which is it going to be? I have viability checks because my pregnancies haven't been viable. And it makes me sad, and makes me feel abnormal, somehow less than. Then I think that maybe I should have just waited to find out, pretending that this was a normal pregnancy, but then I remember how hard it is waiting and not knowing and that I'm just looking for a little resolution right now.
Finally the nurse calls me to come in, so my partner and I walk into the ultrasound suite. She takes my blood pressure and asks me the date of my last menstrual period -- which was already written down from my last visit. I even brought a copy of my
Ovusoft chart from this cycle but they aren't used to reading those I guess.
I get undressed from the waist down, and talk to my partner. He said that if it was good that was good and if it was nothing again then it was okay because we could just go on living our lives as they were. I told him that my preference was that something was growing in there because then we could just hire people to replace me at work -- having another loss would be too hard as too many people are relying on me right now. He's dithering between wanting to watch the scan in the hopes that something is growing in there -- a heartbeat even - versus just waiting outside just in case it is another empty sac. In the end he just stayed put, particularly after I said -- don't you want to be here for me?
So the doc comes in and inserts the transvaginal u/s wand up my hooha-- the magic wand which will let us know our future. And then what comes up on the screen is this:
Yes, there is something in there. There are two blobs on top of each other, the top one is the yolk sac and the bottom one that is whiter is the embryo. We saw its little heart beating, just the tiniest little flicker. Based on conception date I'm 6w1d pregnant and the embryo measured at 6w0d -- so right where it is supposed to be.
[updated to add: I think you can see Twyla Twerp in the scan, right smack in the middle of the image -- the gestational sac is sort of pointing at a grayish white blob that looks a bit distinct from the rest of the uterus. If I'm right it looks like the gestational sac is already bigger than that which is great.]
I'm feeling a little emotional right now. This morning was stressful. But, we just crossed the second hurdle in the race to having a baby -- the first is just getting pregnant, the second is seeing that there is something growing in there. Weird huh?
My doc said to come back in next week for another scan, and then my first prenatal was scheduled for about a month from now. What? I might be having a baby for real?
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