Training for the Olympics

1) A book I read about infertility mentioned that for women infertility is like training for years and not being able to play in the Olympics, that's partly why it is so frustrating to us. It also said that it takes men on average three years before infertility hits them the same way as it does us.

2) My partner was kind of bopping along doing his own thing and there I was last September with my surgery approaching and I had a meltdown. I can't have this surgery I told him, I don't think we've tried everything we can yet and we don't even know if this will improve our outcome -- what if it is just your morphology that is the issue and not my fibroid? (!!!!!)

When he realized the gravity of the situation we were facing with major abdominal surgery for me and saw how upset I was he had another S/A and had them check for antibodies (can you believe I was going to have surgery without him checking that!?!) He wasn't willing to take supplements last year until after this all happened as well and that took some time as well.

He wasn't keen on the IUI but accepted it as part of the phased approach to dealing with our infertility. Now that we are pregnant he's so funny because he lets out little things like telling my sister that it feels natural to be having a baby (as an expectant father now of course and as if not being able to procreate was unnatural -- this from the man who had a vasectomy in the first place so he wouldn't have kids!!!), how he thinks his anxiety was related to his infertility, and to see how ready he is for this adventure of starting a family. I see how frustrating it must have been for him but he didn't really talk about it with me at the time.

My partner is fairly communicative but fertility is a difficult topic for men for some reason. I think it reminds them of impotence and challenges their masculinity and sense of self -- much as it challenges our maternal instincts and makes us climb up the walls in anguish.

The book you might want to refer to, it is about understanding the emotions and frustrations of infertility:

Experiencing Infertility