It's my birthday and I'm how I thought I would be, not in the mood for celebration. My great-aunt phoned from NY this AM at 6:50!!!! She's 95 so I won't fault her for that. I just don't want to talk to my family at all though. I did leave a message for my parents a little while ago, I haven't spoken to my mother since we found out about our B.O.

My partner's family was all here before, my little nephew too. And his sister-in-law, the one who is due in February. I feel numb around them kind of. The party tonight is going to be hard, I'll probably go hide in the attic or something. His mother and SIL did make all the food for the party yesterday so we didn't have to do anything which is really nice. I just wish I didn't feel this way.

Today I'm crying, at least right now I am. I guess I had to hold it in all week at work so I might as well let it out now while no one is around.