potty learning updates

We did part-time EC with J starting at 9 weeks, but then he fell off the wagon last summer as his ego emerged and he needed to have more ownership of his elimination -- but his body wasn't ready yet. Its been touch and go for the past year. I praise him when he goes for doing a good job of listening to his body.

He only poops every 3-4 days but it can really overwelm him and he fights it.

What I've been talking about with J, as we are now working on training again, is how he needs to listen to his body, and that we don't want to wait to poop until it is an emergency. Today I was with him and he started doing that little poop jig, saying "no!" to his body of all things[L]. I told him again that he needs to listen to his body and his body was telling him he needed to go poop. He still was resistant but then we talked about how we couldn't go to the pool if he had to poop and he wouldn't want to poop at his cousins' house. Finally he agreed and we got the entire affair into the toilet. With my partner and our afternoon sitter he will only go in his diaper.

We also sing a song on the potty that I made up. It goes like this:

Everybody goes poop poop
Mama goes poop poop
Dada goes poop poop
Jonah goes poop poop
Everybody goes poop poop, poop poop

and then we run through all our family and his friends and animals.

When he's sitting on the toilet we do that song/game from camp called Concentration...

Concentration, are you ready?
if so, let it go
starting with, names of...
CARS (his preference)

and we run through names of all the car brands and types. This has actually turned into a big daytime activity -- wandering around the neighborhood, studying cars (logos, hubcaps, tail lights, and types).

It helps to have something interesting to do while on the toilet and that was the best I could come up with.

Why nurse past a year?

These are some of the reasons why I continue to nurse my baby, now 22 months old. I manage to do this in spite of working 3/4 time out of home.

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Human babies are designed to nurse until at least 2.5 years.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends for AT LEAST a year; a year being the minimum recommended.

The WHO recommends for AT LEAST two years, noting that not doing so increases the health risks to the infant.

Some 80% of brain development occurs during the first two years. Recent studies are also pointing out the affect of nursing duration on behavioral development. Wouldn't you want to give your baby the best nutrition possible during this critical time?

Nursing is tied to decreased disease risk for women. The longer you do it, the more the benefit. A total win-win.

Here are some sites with helpful information for learning more about the benefits of extending nursing past the first year:

Handling criticism about breastfeeding

Nursing After the First Year

Not Just for Babies: 10 Good Reasons to Breastfeed Your Toddler

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Our nursing schedule at 21 months is:

bedtime
3am
6am
7am
9am
11:30
naptime
5:30pm
after dinner

He's dropped a couple sessions since earlier in the year. I'm always confused when women post online to say they are only nursing 2-4 times a day -- I don't see how that is possible without purposeful nudging but then again my little one does love nursing.

Eczema - some success

My brother and sister had bad eczema when they were growing up so I was used to it and not alarmed when my baby got a little. It was barely anything and didn't itch him so I just left it alone. Then it flared up and I made an appt with our ped who is also an ND and we went last week. That wasn't helpful at all as all she did was ask me a little bit about his diet and tell me to put on a cream like Eucerin.

What I knew from my brother and sister is that eczema:
* is related to food allergies
* can be hard to treat
* oil of primrose and vitamin E can help sometimes
* hydrocortisone is often prescribed (but didn't seem to be an answer in itself)

I went home and read up all my alternative medicine books and looked at some links as well, guided in part by a report from someone on my neighborhood parenting list (elsewhere) about probiotics helping her little one with eczema.

What I learned from reading was that eczema:
* has been linked with a reaction to an overgrowth of certain bacteria in the gut
* is often found in individuals who later go on to have allergies such as hay fever (nothing more serious than that)
* can be related to zinc deficiency sometimes
* is often related to common allergies -- peanuts, eggs, milk, orange juice, etc.
* can have some improvement from increasing omega-3 intake
* that promoting good bacteria (through injesting certain strains and helper strains) can help readjust the gut flora
* can improve when you eliminate simple carbs (refined wheat products, sugar, juices)
* can benefit from diet changes similar to what one does to try to heal from yeast infections (stay away from sugar, fermented foods, etc.)

I stumbled a little with the diet, so my sitter and I started keeping a log and I helped give her more direction on what to feed him so he wasn't just eating carbs with her. We also cut back on juice and dairy some. I also bought some fish oil, probiotic meant for children 0-5 years, and sunflower seeds.

I also tried putting a lotion on his rash that he was fine with previously on winter dry skin but on the eczema it made the rash get worse. Eczema is akin to broken skin so don't make that mistake. You can use Eucerin, Aquaphor, Vasoline, or even lanolin to help keep it covered.

After a week of treatment it is finally starting to heal up. I've been thinking about what caused it to flare and I think it was related to his love of gorgonzola cheese. He had some earlier in the month and it was a particularly bloomy one and I think it threw things off in his system a little.

I just wanted to share in case this helps anyone else.

19.5 months -- a little breakthrough

I wanted to give an update on our progress, or lack thereof, as we have been in an extended potty pause.

I've been continuing to offer with no pressure just things like:

"Let me know if you need to go potty"
"Here is where the potty is. If you need to go just let me know"
"We don't pee [whereever the miss was]. We pee in the potty"
etc.

I really can't thank my local diaper-free baby group enough for the knowledge that this is just how things can progress and we're not doing anything wrong. It has been so helpful to understand that he is reorganizing himself. In some ways I wonder if I would have been as tuned in to this big developmental reorganization stages (and others prior) without practicing E.C. -- it gives such a clear view into the complex changes our little ones are going through.

So anyway, last night when he was in his bath I reminded him not to pee in the bath, and he pointed to the potty to let me know that was where to go. After I got him dried off and dressed he was passing gas and I asked him if he had to go potty, if he had to have a poo and he answered "Dat." Which meant yes, I got it spot on. I said let's go and then he headed down the hall and went to the toilet.

I helped him get the seat reducer in place and he indicated that he wanted me to help him undress (and with some urgency). I helped him on the toilet and after a few minutes he went and announced "I-doot" which for Jonah means "I did it". I double-checked and he told me he was all done. He barely let me wipe him off, almost like he thought that if he hadn't soiled himself he didn't need to be cleaned off. It was all good though. I'm so pleased but I tried not to make too much of it. He seemed pleased with himself as well.

I was reminded of our early successes which started with #2 so I'm
feeling like maybe soon we will have a bit of a renaissance.

Jonah had his fashionably late 18 month WBV on Monday and here are his stats -- 31 lbs, 35" long and 51 cm head circumference. He's around 95 percentile except for his head which is greater than. Jonah has started extending into size 3 now. I'm amazed at how much he has grown.

Even though he had a minor head cold I opted to get him his final Hib and polio shots as we are working on our very delayed schedule. I asked the nurse about giving him Tylenol after we got home as he had a bad reaction to the Hib the first time and she said no. A few hours later and it was the same deal of a baby in pain and crying for hours. Dumbass nurse. Last time I listen to her. I also asked the doc (a P.A. who is also an ND) about his touch of eczema and she told me to put Eucerin on it. Um yeah, like I could figure that out . I wasn't that impressed. I have some natural medicine books and so I'm going to try my own approach to it including fish oil supplement, some diet modifications, probiotics and yes, some topical cream (but not hydrocortisone).

We had our first day back at our class at the community college today and after a little initial hesitation, Jonah got familiar with the surroundings and toys again. Almost 75% of our class was in it last Spring so that's nice for me and for Jonah for developing friendships. Boy how the babies have changed -- there were toys everywhere. They pulled everything down off all the shelves and then some. When we started in Jan., Jonah was still crawling. This evening I can see a little change in his demeanor -- we went to a restaurant with a play area and he finally wasn't so shy about playing there around the other kids. My partner is going to take him to a music class on Monday mornings. It is more creative music rather than learning how to play.

Jonah has his own guitar, I don't know if I mentioned it. My partner got it for him in Peru last Christmas. It is a mini-guitar, a real one. He has been getting more into it lately. He hands it to me and I strum the strings and sing Old Mac Donald and Oh Susanna and he thinks it is great (even though I'm not really playing the song). I want to encourage him to explore and play. He also has his dad play for him, more fancy classical fingerwork stuff.

My little guy knows how to use the potty as we started doing EC with him from 9 weeks old. He's recently entered the next phase of cognitive development and now won't use the toilet at all. Even though he hasn't forgotten, it is as if his mind is having a hard time managing his need to have control over when he goes with his body's need to go if that makes any sense.

I've had to just back off and accept that as he continues to develop and mature that things change. I always knew that there was going to be some transistion between my offering and him being potty-trained. I still have no idea how it will play out but after 14 months of success I'm having no pottying successes and lots of poopy diapers (where I used to have one a month!) Eventually he will get there; synchronizing need, want, action, anticipation, etc. I can't make it happen for him.

Here's some info from Diaperaps about Potty Training that I reference now and again. We use their training pants on Jonah:

http://www.diaperaps.com/home/dp1/pottytips_main.html

I've been super busy with work lately and I'm super run down. My partner and I are trying to figure out how to get me some down time as I'm absolutely bleary eyed.

Part of it is Jonah too. He's been going through some serious separation anxiety, only wanting mama and that has been making it hard for me to take a break and take care of myself. He's also thoroughly off pottying at the moment which is adding to the fun. I'm guessing its a bunch of things that aren't working for him but I'm not sure how much I can accomodate his needs right now due to work demands. I'm doing my best. He does get to nurse during the day and still sleeps with me so it isn't like he is being deprived.

He's been off pottying a bit since being sick for a few weeks. If I'm able to give him more attention then I can potty him around 5 times a day. I've been way too busy to do so lately though, catching up after all that illness.

I've been super swamped at work and before that Jonah and I (and my partner) were sick for a few weeks. I just learned on Friday that we likely had Adenovirus. We are recovered finally.

The funny thing is that since he has been feeling better Jonah seems to have grown a bit and his appetite is up as well. He is working on his canines and first molars at the same time right now. I think he has gotten one little bit of one of the molars broken through. He hasn't had any new teeth in since February when he got his 8th tooth. I'm thinking in the next few weeks there should be a lot more.

I feel like I can barely keep up as I've been having to work so much and the work just keeps piling on. Jonah has just started getting into that stage where he is dragging stuff all over the house so it feels cluttered at home -- on top of any housework that needs tending to as well. I told my partner that we will just have to live with it for a few more weeks as we are smack in the middle of our busy season and we are also moving into a new office next weekend.

On a pottying kick

Jonah's been on a pottying kick since the weekend. It seems as though now that he's mastered walking he can now devote a little more energy to communicating about when he needs to go. I broke out the training pants as I was getting tired of taking his prefold and cover off and on so much. He's been holding for long periods of time, communicating about when he needs to go, and staying fairly dry. Lots of trips to the bathroom and he love washing his hands so much that mine are soooo dry. We are still diapering him but I'm trying to make it easier when I'm able to focus on helping with the pottying.

The Diaperaps Training pants in 2T fit perfectly and are way easier off and on. I've been using them with Babylegs when we are just around the house.

14 Months Old

I can't believe that its been over a year since Jonah joined our family. I also can't believe that he's been pottying for a year as well. I think back to different points over the past year and its funny to my brain when I recall that he was smaller, less developed, had fewer capabilities, etc. Like how sitting up unassisted took forever. Or how tall he was when he first started learning how to slide off the bed backwards.

Jonah is such a sweet little baby boy. Overall he's really even tempered, interactive, conversive, and curious. He's getting more into little tantrums now, mostly when we don't do what he wanted -- such as putting him down when he didn't want to, or if his dad gets him when he wanted me to do something with him. He arches his back dramatically and its hard to hold him up. We either lay him down on the floor and ask him to stop or we pull him in close and hug him for the most part, and that's the best we can do as he learns how to express himself and modulate his feelings. It must be so frustrating to be both independant and dependant and also not fully able to express yourself.

He likes walking around holding our hands or pushing his little Radio Flyer car that he got for Christmas. He also can crawl up and down the stairs really quickly now and some days I have a hard time getting him to wait so I can go with him to help keep him safe. He is also really digging walking the stairs while I hold his hands. He wants to master all these skills and then some. Another favorite is giving him a plastic water bottle with a cap and let him try to figure out how to take it off and put it on all lined up properly. That can keep him occupied for a good half hour or more.

He loves being outside and we try to let him have some good exercise as the weather permits. He does get a good 45 minute stroller walk every day, rain or shine, to our office downtown.

He's still nursing and while he eats solids he still favors milk more. Both for comfort and in place of other foods. He eats, he really does, but he's not yet entered the phase where solids are tops. Also, he needs a good few hours between meals before he's hungry again it seems. He doesn't mind little tastes in between but he can be picky about it as well. We eat dinner in the livingroom as we only have the formal diningroom and no eating area in the kitchen. I sit on the floor by the coffee table and he comes over and stands next to me and shares with me most of the time. He's very interested in learning how to use table cutlery so I try to grab him a teaspoon so he can practice jabbing at the food on my plate. With supervision I will also let him use my fork. It all seems really natural and with our continued nursing realtionship I don't worry too much about him being picky about what he eats.

We go to a class at our local community college once a week and he loves it there. They have a ton of toys and all the other little ones around his age, plus a toddler sized slide and more. We sing songs and when I sing them when we are away from class he gets into it.

He is also a music lover. Most kinds of music will get him waving his hands in the air, even passing cars with their radios on. He has a guitar and a new toy piano, lots of rattles and shakers, some drums and a Leap Frog music table. I have a bunch of music CDs just for him and keep the car CD player loaded up with them for when we are driving around. He also loves when I put his music on to play from my iPhone.

Now that Spring is here I've bumped up his wardrobe a bit as he's going to be in the 2T sizes for a while and it's time to learn how to play outside. He loves the parks in our neighborhood, the swings and slide best but he is also learning how to climb around on one with a platform and a tunnel, which has just enough of a structure that he can climb up it with supervision. Some of the parks have shared trucks and sand toys and he loves trying those out as well.

We are expert truck and airplane spotters in our house now as well. Even when he isn't with me I will think -- "oh look, a cement truck!". We've seen cement trucks, tank trucks, bulldozers, dump trucks, bucket trucks, utility trucks, tow trucks towing cars, drilling trucks, flatbed trucks, and so many more. It it funny how your perspective and attention shift when you have a little one around, you notice things that you took for granted before. Our house is also lined up with the most common coorider for plans approaching Seatac from the north. As a result we can look at planes flying overhead day and night, with lights blinking, peeking out from behind the clouds. And all kinds of planes. And helicopters. He also loves buses -- city buses, little buses, school buses.

His language skills are still developing and right now everything is "UTt" but he has tried out the following words - bird, bus, truck, dog, cat, that, yes, daddy, out, up, done, moon, plane. He also signs, in varying degrees of consistency, for: more, milk, eat, done, diaper, potty, sleep, wash/bath. I'm working with him on: airplane, helicopter, friend, moon, open door. He uses the sign for more a lot. I'll ask him if he is all done or if he wants/needs more and he will sign more if he isn't finished -- as in still needs to go potty even though his diaper is wet, still hungry, wants to swing more at the park, wants to nurse more, etc. It is pretty sweet.

Also, I cancelled the diaper service a few weeks ago and we are exclusively using our own diaper stash of prefolds. We wash every other day and it sure helps to keep the smell down compared to the weekly diaper pick-up. He still uses about 10 prefolds a day, but he is also pottying on top of that. He usually pees three times in the morning when he gets up and three times before bed -- so it is hard to convince him to get undressed all that many times which is why we are using so many. He also hates having his diaper changed now. Something about being mad about being wet and being interupted from what he's doing and who knows what else. I try to tell him that if he doesn't want to use a diaper then he will have to use the potty but its too soon for him to be fully trained.

A few weeks ago he transitioned to one nap and it was a little bumpy. Depending on the day though and how his nap falls, some days he still needs a second nap. Most often we just take a rest in bed and nurse and read books for some quiet time before dinner which seems to help take the edge off.

I'll see about posting more soon.