I got my blood test results back and my beta HCG is 1058 and my progesterone is 38.5. They told me to keep using the progesterone cream since I have already been using it. They said the levels looked great so I guess I just sit tight until our Jan 5 appt. I had some twinges of nausea (so faint) this AM and I wanted to cry when J peed on the floor in his bedroom (but that can make any tired parent want to cry). I was super grouchy over the weekend with J when he was nursing so I'm trying to be mindful that there's a lot going on and I need to be nice to him as well.

I'm trying to send this little bean loving thoughts about growing. It seems so small an insignificant right now, though I know that will change quickly enough. I feel like I have already made a little room in my heart for the new one, but it makes me so sad for J to know that his world is going to change so drastically. I'm grateful for having nursed him so long and I hope his nursing needs will settle someplace agreeable to us both.

I had sort of resigned myself to the possibility that we might only have one, perhaps more than I thought. It is a wonderful thing to be able to give him a sibling (if everything goes well) but our little family of three will be forever changed. It just makes me a little sad.