I'm just back from my trip to Paris and I had a great time. There are benefits to being child-free in that you can actually get away like that and just do what you want to do.

I'm still feeling trepidation about TTC right now, I think a friend of mine pinned it on the head when she said that it was probably more that my caregivers haven't really shown me that they have a good plan for monitoring my next pregnancy which is causing more anxiety about it. After the two losses that kicked me to the ground and all our difficulty conceiving in the first place its just frustrating and the way the docs deal with it just makes me feel like I'm going to have to go it alone again. I'm thinking of going for counseling and also talking to my current ob/gyn about it. I don't know if there's any chance that I could not feel like a total wreck should I get pg again but at least I shouldn't have to feel like I'm being treated like a regular ob patient -- I've cried too many tears and had too much pain for that at this point.