Crazy. I just got off the phone with my 95 year old aunt. My family is back East and I haven't really been in a good place to talk about what has happened with my pregnancy. I sent email and hoped that my parents could pick up the slack.

My aunt didn't know, somehow she missed the email. I think she was calling me because she was excited. She started telling me about the loss of her only child, stillborn, some 70 year ago. She also lost her husband, and her best friend died towards the end of her pregnancy -- all within the same year. I'd heard this story before but not from her. When we finished talking I could tell she was crying. I feel so terrible for her suffering, and for bringing back bad memories.

I'm having a bad day today so I stayed at home. I was dreaming about the d&c scheduled for Monday and I woke up feeling very emotional and out of sorts. Monday my procedure is scheduled for noon, no food after midnight, only clear liquids until 5:30 AM or so and then I'll be on a fast. I can only imagine how crappy I will feel post procedure since I'll still have the HCG in my system -- and that seems to be what makes me puky/hungry all the time.

I don't know what to do except pray for all the lost babies and for their mothers.