The psychological burden of fertility

Infertility I think, from a psychological burden standpoint is so hard to take. Will we or won't we? Can we or can't we? Actually I know people who don't even plan on having children who still struggle with their fertility.

One friend of mine thinks this is due to the fact that out of any of our instincts the desire to reproduce would be one of the strongest since that is what perpetuates the species. Watching the birds nesting in our yard and how they do it year after year in spite of the grueling feeding schedules I think that is probably true.

I called the fertility clinic on Thursday and got the SPA test results which are completely normal (a good ratio of sperm penetrated the ova showing good functioning). I've got an ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday to check up on my fibroid. I had continued growth from September 2002 through February 2004; I would love to see that there was no growth but that might be too much to ask for.

My partner is feeling really good about the IUI prospects and he's getting psyched up for me getting pregnant soon. It is kind of cute but it feels so far from reality to me. It feels like winning the lottery, you can't even imagine what it is like until you do it. There are sooooooo many pregnant women and new babies in town right now that I'm constantly gazing after. I try not to make it too much of a head trip but it is hard to not think Why not me?